UnNews:Ugandan poofs charged with having sex on church altar

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Fake News that's honestly fake UnNews Sunday, July 25, 2021, 20:12:59 (UTC)

Ugandan poofs charged with having sex on church altar UnNews Logo Potato.png

16 June 2010

The prime witness for the prosecution

ENTEBBE, Uganda -- A Ugandan court has sent a Muslim gay couple to jail on charges of insulting the Christian and Islamic religions by allegedly having homo-sex on a church altar in Entebbe.

The prosecution alleges that Abbasi Kigongo and Aisha Namazzi, both Muslim poofs, were found having sex on the altar of Kigungu Miracle Centre Church in Uganda's capital on May 14.

The charge sheet says that the duo willfully decided to have sex in the church with intentions of achieving orgasm insulting a religion. That is unlawful. The charge sheet was obtained from the Entebbe magistrate's office Tuesday.

The pair is scheduled to re-enact the crime for police on June 22.

The prosecution alleges that Jesus, who was nailed to a cross on the altar, heard strange loud noises in the church, investigated the situation, and found the couple having gay sex at his feet. He then spiritually informed a priest, who caught the offenders.

An official at the magistrate's office said if found guilty, the couple could be subject to the Ugandan penal code, which says "insulting a religion attracts a maximum sentence of two years imprisonment, and being gay Muslims attracts a maximum sentence of death by stoning.”

A spokesperson for the Vatican, said that H.H. the Pope was satisfied that justice was being served.