UnNews:UnNews Classified: Used country for sale

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We distort, you deride UnNews Tuesday, January 19, 2021, 01:20:59 (UTC)

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9 January 2021

Festive nights are the norm at the palace.

MAGA-LAGO, Florida -- In a prime location, the country has only had four years with the present driver. Unfortunately, due to an electoral malfunction and failed attempts to restart the country on its intended path, the present driver is forced to sell. Would suit A-class dictator or warlord with sufficient funds to perform a few necessary repairs, as some major ornaments have been damaged in efforts to keep the place under control. Political or religious orientation of new owner is unimportant, your supporters will believe anything if it allows them to dominate others. Looking for a quick sale, contracts must be exchanged within a week as present owner may need to move. Only 45 drivers. New owner will assume a substantial debt. BYOA (Bring your own army).

This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer. The lucky buyer will be admired and feted in many places. This country has been running smoothly for over 240 years and has been a steady performer. Don't miss out!

NOTE: Purchasers who can offer political asylum will be eligible for special discounts!

Price: $1,000,000,000,000 U.S. or equivalent in any tradeable currency. Price is negotiable, don't hesitate to make an offer.

Contact Joe at the golf club.

Sources[edit]

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.