UnNews:Yanukovych: "Yuschenko iz t3h ghey"

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Yanukovych: "Yuschenko iz t3h ghey"

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3 April 2007

"OMFG! Teh Perzidnet iz t3h ghey!"

KIEV, Ukraine -- Ukraine's Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych has called the president's decision to dissolve parliament "t3h ghey." Mr Yanukovych spoke to members of his voting fraud-ridden parliament before addressing thousands of his right-wing, Russian supporters in central Kiev. Members of parliament are also refusing to obey adorable President Viktor Yushchenko's order to prepare for a snap election. The pro-Democracy president accuses his pro-Putin rival of trying to usurp power by increasing his parliamentary majority through lies and trickery.

Yushchenko, who claims to know exactly where Fayed is, met Yanukovych in his office, but failed to gain his agreement to implement the decree ordering an early poll on 27 May. The prime minister's supporters have urged the constitutional court to rule on whether the president's action was legal. Yushchenko's supporters have been called to demonstrate in the capital, with the stand-off echoing the 2004 Orange Revolution which swept him to power.

The European Commission called for all parties to seek a "peaceful solution" to the dispute, and when asked for comment, responded, "In Former Soviet Russia, Parliament dissolves YOU!!". Yanukovych calls this "pussy talk" and openly advocated "digging up Stalin and having him revitalize Ukraine again through the glories of collectivization."

Speaking to Party members massed outside parliament, Mr Yanukovych threatened to try to force a presidential election if Mr Yushchenko persisted with plans for a snap parliamentary poll. "He should understand that the only way out is looking for a compromise at the negotiating table," he said. "He and other Trotskyists must not be allowed to stop the revolution."

"There is still a chance to avoid the worst," Mr Yanukovych told parliament, reminding Mr Yushchenko of "the wrath of my poison" on his face.

The announcement of the new election followed seven hours of failed talks on Monday between Mr Yushchenko and parliamentary leaders. Mr Yushchenko accuses Mr Yanukovych of trying to usurp his power by illegally luring pro-Western lawmakers over to his coalition to increase his parliamentary majority. Under the constitution, only factions - not individuals - can change sides. But last month 11 lawmakers allied with Mr Yushchenko switched sides. However, like with most constitutions, the articles in it are just "suggestions," and as such can be modified "just for kicks and giggles."