Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 12

April 12: Narcolepsy D....zzzzzz........

• 124 BCE - Forgetting to file his taxes on time, Prometheus uninvents fire in an attempt to delay the deadline. The Sun foils his plans.
• 26 AB - Jesus takes a well-deserved nap.
• 1022 - The Library of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is established in Sicily.
• 1861 - The Civil War begins when Confederate forces bombard Fort Sumter with slaves and cotton bales.
• 1943 - Jeremiah Einstein is beaten with a really dirty stick while no one cares.
• 1945 - Orville Redenbacher begins work on secret The Manhattan Project.
• 1946 - Orville's rival begins work on The super-secret Downtown Cleveland Project. It is so secret that funding never reaches it.
• 1955 - February's groundhog leaves a hole in total darkness. Spring decides not to come at all this year, and the year skips straight to Summer.
• 1962 - The God Emperor of All Knobheads is born.
• 1967 - Che Guevara takes a nap and wakes up in a CIA prison in Bolivia.
• 1969 - Sharon Stone comes out of retirement to become, at 78, the oldest woman to circumnavigate Arnold Schwartzenegger.
• 1979 - Mel Gibson goes mad and eliminates a rogue biker gang, which turns out to be three kids on tricycles.
• 1985 - Battleship reaches a new record of kids killed who eat the little plastic pieces with their ice-cream, mistaking them for sprinkles.
• 2049 - The Rainbow Brite task force counterattacks, defeating Lord Zarquon in an epic battle involving at least three spork battles.