Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 2

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August 2: Intentionally Give a Stranger Misleading Directions Day

  • 456 - Marauding Mongol hoards are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe.
  • 1101 - Crusaders are given misleading directions so carefully coordinated that the vanguard of the army will attempt to attack the rear guard.
  • 1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggests that the stranger seek directions from his own mother.
  • 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be", the series of events that follow cause the stock market crash and the Great Depression.
  • 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia.
  • 1939 - (12:22pm) Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at a gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow are invaded by accident.
  • 1945 - Bugs Bunny fails to make a left at Albuquerque for the first time. It would hardly be the last, with his tunneling eventually causing ground collapse in large parts of New Mexico.
  • 1993 - The shocking discrepancy between male and female drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels.
  • 2000 - GPS accuracy for civilian use is upgraded to military levels so that both can be equally lost. Earlier, drivers could be distinguished from each other in heavy fog and in the dark by the more creative cursing used by the military.