February 15: It Just Got Out of Hand Day
- 3235 BCE - Laundry is invented. It would pile up in a forgotten corner until washday is created by the Egyptians.
- 926 - Running with scissors becomes the first extreme sport.
- 1203 - Genghis Khan loses his temper after losing a mud wrestling match; invades China.
- 1655 - Henry Morgan sacks Panama for England after Spanish children steal a novelty codpiece from Oliver Cromwell.
- 1859 - A solar storm causes the Carrington Event, causing everyone to think everyone else's name is Carrington.
- 1862 - Ulysses S. Grant attacks Fort Donelson, Tennessee, in retribution for the early morning theft of Union toilet paper.
- 1925 - Adolf Hitler writes his fiction novel Mein Kampf. It is unfortunately interpreted as non-fiction.
- 1933 - Attempted assassination of President-elect Franklin Delano Roosevelt after a particularly sweaty handshake during the campaign.
- 1989 - The Soviet Union leaves Afghanistan, realising that the whole thing just got out of hand.
- 1997 - Starbucks tries a little too hard to out-do everyone else.
- 2007 - Midget cockpunchers take terrorism to its logical conclusion.
- 2008 - I don't appreciate your attitude towards my potato chip situation.