Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 18

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February 18: Martian Invasion Day

  • 1789 - Capybaras decide to part their hair on the right side. For unknown reasons, this enrages Martians.
  • 1877 - Astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli is the first to observe canali on Mars, leading to people speculating that there is water in canals and therefore life on Mars. However, we know today Schiaparelli was misinterpreted, actually saying he saw carnivali with large Ferris wheels and roller coasters.
  • 1881 - Martians begin to eye Earth while their 35 other eyes keep to the task at hand: Go Fish.
  • 1898 - Martians attempt their first invasion of the Earth. They attempt to establish fast-growing Martian red weed but immediately upon planting it is snatched up by humans and smoked. They are also keen on hentai tentacle rape but catch so many STDs that they nearly all die.
  • 1932 - The Mars Bar is invented in England and successfully invades the rest of the world, using the name "Mickey Way" in America. Martians are agog, while Adolf Hitler watches and waits.
  • 1953 - Martians invade again, this time hiding in a sandpit in the US. They now have new technology, miniaturized mind control devices that are very slowly implanted for dramatic tension. Unfortunately their hulking minions get their zippers caught on anything and everything, even underground. After worrying they might have left the stove on, Martians decide to return home.
  • 1977 - Little silver aliens attempt to land in the US but are foiled as their landing spot, a pile of mashed potatoes, proves to be too soft due to too much milk and butter added to the mix.
  • 1978 - Invading Martians are driven off again, this time by the repetitive prog rock soundtrack used with news programming and a droning Richard Burton doing voiceover commentary.
  • 2000 - Rock finally beats paper but is disqualified on appeal after camera review.
  • 2010 - Martians land again but it is only to return the Sojourner and Spirit rover vehicles with parking tickets attached.