Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 21

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Giant Bee.jpg

February 21: Killer Bee 10K Run Day

  • 2 million BCE - A bird species, later called the African Honey Guide, learns to lead humans to beehives to get them to take all the stinging punishment while robbing a hive. Nearly comatose humans would then leave a portion of honey for the birds. Bees would put up a fight but concede it was better than the old days where a Tyrannosaurus Rex would just eat the whole hive and the tree it was on.
  • c.3500 BCE - Egyptians domesticate the wild bee, forcing them to build pyramids and temples. Moses the Bee begins a revolt and leads her hive out of Egypt, leaving Pharoah with nothing to put on his toast.
  • 1415 - French knights test armor made of mashed potatoes. No knights survive to make a negative report, so production goes into full swing.
  • 1822 - Farley Upham trains bees to make their honey in glass jars, revolutionizing the industry.
  • 1903 - The Wright Brothers fly the first bumblebee, after being told it couldn't be done.
  • 1922 - The first bee movie is made, Bee Guiled.
  • 1942 - Sea bees extend their range throughout the Pacific islands. They are ignored by whales who prefer salty snacks.
  • 1957 - A descendent of Moses the Bee leads multiple Africanized bee colonies out of Brazil to the promised land, apparently Saskatchewan, Canada. They mow down hundreds of humans in their path acquiring the "killer bee" (KB) moniker causing dyslexics to flee from Burger King (BK) signs.
  • 1960 - The Bee-Jesus is born in Harmony, Australia.
  • 1961 - Bees begin making honey in bear-shaped containers, increasing sales many times. Bears then attempt to sell themselves in bee-shaped containers, with tragic results.
  • 2010 - Long-distance running becomes popular as more people encounter killer bees.