Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 22

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July 22: Oh, my God! It's National Hysteria Day, and you HAVEN'T MADE ANY PLANS!

  • 0 - Scientists decide the Earth is round, not flat. This is proven wrong when a sailor falls off the world and is never seen again.
  • 1066 - King Harold inaugurates National Hysteria Day with his famous speech "Holy shit! It's the fucking Normans! AAAAAAAAA!"
  • 1855 - A brief cease-fire is called in the Crimean War until Lord Raglan gets his sobbing under control.
  • 1898 - Dr. Victor von Frankenstein III attempts to cure hysteria by performing hysterectomies on all his patients. His patients, all males, are not amused and become more hysterical than ever.
  • 1929 - Dozens of stockbrokers and bankers leap out of windows in wild National Hysteria Day celebration.
  • 1966 - Australian Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies celebrates the nine hundredth anniversary of National Hysteria Day by running around in circles, screaming.
  • 1986 - Copious amounts of vodka-induced partying causes several employees of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant to hysterically panic when the reactor can't handle the sound system. They take out a few control rods to compensate the drain on the power grid.
  • 1990 - Media outlets report the outbreak of a deadly virus in the United States. Thirty-eight people die of panic attacks from the announcement, and two people are killed by the virus itself.