Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 25

July 25: International Talk Like Yoda Day, it is.

• A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...: Social Security investigators witness Yoda's light saber battle with Count Dooku, they do. Hmmmm. Realise, they do, that the walking stick thing is a charade. "Your incapacity benefit try and remove, we will" they tell him. "Do or do not", cleverly replies he, "There is no try."
• 306: Proclaimed Roman emperor, Constantine I is, by his troops.
• 1946: Detonated underwater, it is, in the lagoon of Bikini atoll, an atomic bomb. Swimsuits of Women are torn in half, they are. Protest, by this action, they show.
• 1947: The United Nations, Talks Like Yoda Day, it inaugurates.
• 1951: The Korean War, pauses it does so that both sides can this day enjoy.
• 1962: President Kennedy visits Berlin and proclaims "Ein Berliner, Ich bin."
• 1969: Neil Armstrong lands on the moon. His first message: "Hm, yes, one small step for man, this is. One giant leap for mankind, also it is."
• 1970: When asked, Mao Zedong is, by reporter ██████ ████ whether more powerful capitalism is than communism, replies, he does, "No. Quicker, easier it is."
• 1980: "Eheh. Wars not make one great!" quips Jimmy Carter. He is soon defeated in a landslide.
• 1981: "Mr. President! Freed the hostages are!" shouts a reporter as Ronald Reagan declares "Darth Ayatollah, powerful and bearded he is!"
• 2004: George W. Bush spends most of the day pretending to listen to questions put to him, then widens his eyes and says "Yoda! You seek Yoda!" This goes on until Dick Cheney breaks his arm with a tire iron.
• 2005: Ted Kennedy remarks to Howard Dean, "John Kerry was our last chance to stop Bush and Cheney." To which Dean replies, "No....there is another!" It is later revealed that even though they once made out, Hillary Clinton is John Kerry's sister.
• 2006: For the previous entry, shot an uncyclopedia editor is.
• 2007: National Bonking Day introduced.