June 29: Make Crude Jokes About Genitals Day
- 34CE - Ducks first start making jokes about their corkscrew genitalia.
- 1034 - Court eunuchs in China spend a quiet day with nothing to say.
- 1194 - Sverre is crowned King of Norway, beginning a long reign of Danish kings with unpronounceable names.
- 1542 - The comic strip Calvin and Hobbes debuts, lightheartedly poking fun at such contemporary topics as the Protestant Reformation. (pictured)
- 1758 - Edmond Halley patents Halley's Comet, charging everyone who sees it three pence. He makes only about 5/- but hopes for more the next time the comet returns.
- 1807 - Sharks curiously stop making jokes about human genitals before they attack people.
- 1884 - The Picture of Dorian Gray is released by Oscar Wilde, consisting largely of crude jokes about genitals.
- 1939 - The Colonel Bogey March is originally written to be sung by castrotti.
- 1965 - The auto accident starting the "Paul is dead" hoax occurs in England. It is actually the other 3 Beatles who die.
- 1972 - The U.S. Supreme Court rules the death penalty could constitute 'cruel and unusual punishment', particularly the more outlandish methods of carrying out the sentence, such as Texas' legendary alligator tank.
- 1985 - Your mom sees my wiener for the eightieth time. And likes it as much as she did the first time.
- 1986 - I discover my mom likes your weiner because she collects McDonald's coffee stirrers.
- 1999 - Prince continues to party.
- 2009 - Millions of Americans suffering from insomnia are miraculously cured when Jimmy Fallon receives his own late night talk show.