Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June 29

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June 29: Make Crude Jokes About Genitals Day

Calvinhobbes.jpg
  • 34CE - Ducks first start making jokes about their corkscrew genitalia.
  • 1034 - Court eunuchs in China spend a quiet day with nothing to say.
  • 1194 - Sverre is crowned King of Norway, beginning a long reign of Danish kings with unpronounceable names.
  • 1542 - The comic strip Calvin and Hobbes debuts, lightheartedly poking fun at such contemporary topics as the Protestant Reformation. (pictured)
  • 1758 - Edmond Halley patents Halley's Comet, charging everyone who sees it three pence. He makes only about 5/- but hopes for more the next time the comet returns.
  • 1807 - Sharks curiously stop making jokes about human genitals before they attack people.
  • 1884 - The Picture of Dorian Gray is released by Oscar Wilde, consisting largely of crude jokes about genitals.
  • 1939 - The Colonel Bogey March is originally written to be sung by castrotti.
  • 1965 - The auto accident starting the "Paul is dead" hoax occurs in England. It is actually the other 3 Beatles who die.
  • 1972 - The U.S. Supreme Court rules the death penalty could constitute 'cruel and unusual punishment', particularly the more outlandish methods of carrying out the sentence, such as Texas' legendary alligator tank.
  • 1985 - Your mom sees my wiener for the eightieth time. And likes it as much as she did the first time.
  • 1986 - I discover my mom likes your weiner because she collects McDonald's coffee stirrers.
  • 1999 - Prince continues to party.
  • 2009 - Millions of Americans suffering from insomnia are miraculously cured when Jimmy Fallon receives his own late night talk show.