Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 11

March 11: Stop Hitting Yourself Day (Mexico, pictured)

• 125 - Minerva, the Roman goddess of wisdom, goes on vacation and returns to find the Romans have invented The Three Stooges.
• 536 - Pope Agapetus I roasts the first Easter Bunny in what becomes a spring tradition to Christians the world over.
• 826 - European monks convert the facepalm into self-flagellation as they need to see where they are walking.
• 1876 - The Industrial Revolution takes its first major stride forward with the introduction of the steam-powered accordian.
• 1892 - Oscar Wilde pens his play Lady Windermere's Fan after being influenced by the patrons of various European rough pubs.
• 1901 - Whole porcupines are replaced by candy and eggs in Easter baskets. The end of the tradition breaks the hearts of doctors and the pliers manufacturing industry.
• 1962 - Vatican II decrees that self-flagellation is to be replaced by the headdesk.
• 2003 - The United States invades Iraq just hours after President Bush has his "Mission Accomplished" speech written for him.
• 2006 - Adobe Potatochop is released and quickly becomes the most popular image-editing software among people with too much time on their hands.
• 2012 - In accordance with ancient Mayan prophesy, space-time collapses in upon itself. However, the only effect noticed on Earth is that all of Cleveland's McDonald's end up in Antarctica.
• 2018 - The White House Easter egg roll on the South Lawn is the focus of news feeds as land mine manufacturers put on a "yuge" show for attendees, or at least for the surviving parents.
• 2021 - Dick Cheney dies, putting Satan out of a job.