Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 7

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UnNews New thing called wheel make move mud less hard.jpg

March 8: International Talk Like Caveman Day

  • 310,001 BCE - Neanderthal fella meet Cro-Magnon first time. Neanderthal wave hello. Neanderthal look down and see spear in chest. Neanderthal go "Ow".
  • 298,006 BCE - Ook invent fire. Ook patent fire. But Ook find website name already taken.
  • 100,000 BCE - Legendary inventor Org invent wheel, make move mud less hard.
  • c.2700 BCE - Caveman not understand when Bangles lady sing "walk like Egyptian".
  • 200 BCE - Lots ancient Greek guy invade Troy when Trojan Queen talk like pirate not caveman.
  • 1104 - Crusader talk like caveman when get to Middle East, not know Arabic. Get head chopped off anyway.
  • 1804 - Noah Webster make first caveman dictionary. Caveman no buy when find not very tasty.
  • 1884 - Oscar Wilde revitalizes Talk Like Caveman Day; reads to crowd from primitive work Lord Arthur Savile's Crime and Other Stories.
  • 1917 - Manfred von Richthofen, also known Red Baron, kill nineteen enemy plane, only credited two since two highest caveman number.
  • 1933 - Inflation and bad crop yield force Old McDonald close farm, sell livestock and murder-wagon.
  • 1967 - George of Jungle talk like caveman, confuse many people except animal.
  • 1998 - Six Flags place make best rule; eject people not talk like caveman.
  • 2001 - First caveman become president United States. Other caveman think him funny funny.
  • 2016 - Second caveman become president USA. Other caveman laugh again until fired from government.