Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 10

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

October 10: Not-for-Turning Day, International Day of No Underwear

  • 1582 - Pope Gregory XIII implements the Gregorian calendar while not wearing any underwear. He announces that turning is immoral.
  • 1605 - Miguel Cervantes creates Donkey Kong. Unfortunately for him, Niccolo Machiavelli would always beat him for high score.
  • 1807 - Canada defeats The Pirate Nation in the Canadian-Pirate War. Canada turns over a new leaf even though they're not supposed to turn...
  • 1815 - Napoleon I of France begins his exile on St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. He forgets to pack any underwear. When it was his turn to attack, he refused, stating his famous catchphrase, "Turning will give you herpes."
  • 1841 - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow writes the poem Excelsior, extolling the virtues of wood shavings.
  • 1921 - Lana Turner is born and immediately gets into trouble.
  • 1936 - The Ace Hardware chain is started by Walter Leatherface who really enjoys demonstrating the newly invented chainsaw.
  • 1954 - The TV dinner is invented but is only available in black and white.
  • 1955 - Jimi Hendrix is spawned from Buddy Holly's guitar and a rum-and-coke while illegally turning on the New Jersey Turnpike.
  • 1962 - Transistors replace tubes in TV dinners.
  • 1964 - The US destroyer USS Turner Joy lives up to her name by turning and starts the Tonkin Gulf Incident.
  • 1975 - USA leads a search for a man named "Charlie" in Vietnam.
  • 1980 - Margaret Thatcher declares that she is not for turning, despite the best attempts of pro-turning lobbyists.
  • 1995 - Underwear outlawed in Paris. Jim Morrison turns in his grave.
  • 2006 - North Korea tests nukes. In response, America builds comsat stations; Iran upgrades zealots; Afghanistan makes turning weapons that have no use.
  • 2015 - George Bush dies from a serious case of turning.
  • 2015 - Al Gore is arrested for the turning of an undisclosed ex-politician.