Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 18

October 18: International Funk Day (Portugal), Radiation Day

• 23 CE - God loses control of the universe yet again, causing countless miracles. Luckily, Jesus thinks fast and finds an explanation for all those fish everywhere.
• 1000 - Due to linguistical differences in many parts of the world, many people unfortunately mix up International Funk Day with International Spunk Day. Kleenex has a field day.
• 1898 - Pierre and Marie Curie are first to use the term "radioactivity" but their research fails to discover funk.
• 1903 - Telefunken is founded in Germany, building vacuum tubes and other electrical components. While Germany is "one nation under a groove" at this time, it will never observe International Funk Day.
• 1945 - US drops da bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Both cities are fucked, not funked.
• 1955 - All Hell breaks loose in Wittinghermandershire Upon Broohavensmarshington, England when a portal to the dark underworld is discovered by a chimney sweep mistaking an inconspicuous closet door for that of the men's lavatory in a small, inconspicuous pub. The scene of dark beings invading the earth is compounded by the fact that the chimney sweep failed to realize that the "urinal" into which he chose to relieve himself was, in fact, a dark being. And, although dark beings are, in fact, dark beings, they do have feelings too and do not, contrary to popular belief, appreciate being urinated upon by chimney sweeps.
• 1960 - Funk music, jazz's retarded brother, is born.
• 1975 - The Mothership lands. George Clinton is received much better than Michael Renne was in The Day the Earth Stood Still.
• 1978 - US President George Clinton puts Portugal under a groove. The Portuguese population is introduced to blow.
• 2002 - Jacques Chirac is elected in France; funky disco dancing ensues.
• 2002 - Parisians realize how gay disco dancing is. Rioting ensues with chants of "Give us the funk! We want the funk!" echoing through the streets.
• 2557- 25 different types of cheese are discovered on the bottom of the ocean. Scientists are baffled and manage to retrieve 16 of the different types. A German hypnotist later publishes the findings in a kids weekly coloring book; it becomes an instant best seller.