Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 30

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October 30: Halloweve (eve of Halloween).

  • 954 BCE - Romulus holds the first toga party. Remus, who favors bikini briefs and Cat in the Hat hats, is not invited, causing the first rift between the two.
  • 358 - The Mayans begin to give handmade chocolates as gifts. The practice is superseded by human sacrifice of those found to be allergic.
  • 1622 - The first American Halloween is celebrated early when an Indian knocks on a Pilgrim's door and gets a musket ball.
  • 1806 - Children finally figure out they should ask for treats before pranking householders. It proves to be much easier than the previous sifting through burnt wreckage of houses for candy.
  • 1813 - Naturalist James Audubon observes massive flocks of passenger pigeons firsthand and up close. The next time time he does, he wears a large hat, an overcoat and heavy boots.
  • 1844 - Popcorn balls are invented. Popcorn was genderless before this date.
  • 1873 - Chester Greenwood invents earmuffs to prevent his ears from barking loudly in public.
  • 1902 - Chickens go on strike after being made to work overtime to produce enough eggs for throwing by vandals on Halloween.
  • 1921 - Jehovah's Witnesses first provide practice for people to pretend not to be home on Halloween.
  • 1955 - Hundreds of American kids somehow manage to cross the International Date Line to get first crack at Halloween goodies.
  • 1973 - Four stoners in costume show up a day early for a Halloween party. The band KISS is born.
  • 1989 - An old lady buys apples to give out to trick-or-treaters; she still doesn't get it. Death comes to take her, is given an apple, and is so moved he lets her stick around for another year. This has happened for the last 180 years.
  • 2005 - Emo kids anticipate not getting their favorite treat tomorrow, an apple with a razor blade inside.
  • 2011 - Viewers of The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror are disappointed once again.