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Continuing Absence Of Certain Users Forces Other Users To Do Things
- By UU
It has come to the notice of our fearless journalists that some users have recently been desperately attempting to fill the gaping void left by the absence of some other users. For instance, in the absence of part-time dinosaur and popular keyboard feature SysRq, Why do I need to provide this? has stepped bravely into the Colonization brief (and has not, for instance, been forcefully volunteered for the task by MrN), dedicating himself to bringing colons where there are none (such is our understanding).
Also bravely stepping into the "ban magnet" position created by the continuing and lamented absence of hyperactive loon Cajek is, well, a plethora of users. Admins, deprived of their favourite joke-ban target, have taken to joke banning anyone in an attempt to get their fix. Even those devoted to doing only good, just and true works have recently been targeted; and as if to prove this very statement, some power-crazed asshole went and joke banned Socky, RabbiTechno and Optimuschris as soon as he'd written this sentence.
Elsewhere, ChiefjusticeDS has been filling the gap left by the absence of someone's enthusiasm for anything pee-related right at the moment by looking after the pee list, taking over as the person with the most in-depth reviews, reviewing everyone else's reviews, and generally not being lazy about it all.
At the same time, the continuing absence of the yellow and black sig of Gerrycheevers has forced grumbling British curmudgeon UU to return to the Wiki's only newspaper, the UnSignpost, churning out issues that are, let's be honest, mere placeholders until Gerry gets his arse back here and writes something worth reading. YOU HEAR ME GERRY? GET THE FUCK BACK HERE NOW DAMMIT!
Rumours that, in the relative absence of Orian57, Roman Dog Bird will take over the position of "token gay" are unconfirmed at the time of going to press.
And finally, in the absence of enough content to make this issue balance out nicely, the UnSignpost is once again resorting to using blatant filler for the first time this year.
Shameless, that's what it is. Complain to someone - it's the only way they'll learn.
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From our logs:
- 20:30, 26 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.223.27.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (No-one talks that way about my favourite Jew. Learn some manners or GTFO.)
- 00:48, 26 January 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Why do I need to provide this? (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes (Sometimes I feel, like I've been TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEDDD to the Whipping Post!!!!)
- 18:19, 24 January 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.246.27 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year (Toll. Idiot. Whatever. Banned, UnBanned, Banned, Banned. BYE. Try IRC next time. The guys in there will enjoy it.)
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Biopic of the Week
Users today, they barely know they're born. The problem? Too little exposure to Flammable. The permanent curator of the Principal's office rarely deigns to grace us mortals with his presence these days, but the very sight of his rainbow-strewn sig used to inspire fear, dread, terror and, for some reason, carol singing. "While shepherds fed their flocks thermite..."
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Old-School Featured Article of the Week
This one's for you, Guildy: HowTo:Be pretentious. Don your black polo-neck, cock a snook at the hoi polloi, and sit back, secure in your superiority, thanks to this indispensable guide!
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| Cursory Mention of the Week
CheddarBBQ wanted to be mentioned in this week's Signpost. So he is.
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