l

Welcome to the Undictionary, an ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z *

L

The opposite of Eaven

LA

the fake form of "the" used by French peoplez.

LAN

(abbrev.) Large Annoyed Nanny.

or... Lost A Nickel. or... Lost A Nut

Lack of preparation

Pertains to the cornerstone of surprising but often interesting events.

Lacksidasical

Approaching a task without first stuffing your pockets full of wild flowers.

Lake Huron

Lake Huron® (n.): A test bed for the designers of Lake Nylon®, Lake Dacron® and Lake Teflon®, Lake Huron was the first entirely synthetic lake to be developed by Delaware corporation E.I. duPont de Nemours et compagnie.The idea for a completely manmade non-stick lake was devised when monsieur duPont took a look at Lake Inferior and realised how dirty the Great Lakes were becoming from everyday use. Why not create a lake that, like a plumbing fixture, could simply be flushed out after use with no sticky, icky bits left behind? Now obsolete: as the first crude prototype of an entirely plastic lake, Lake Huron® began to attract far too many shallow plastic people, mostly Toronto suburbanites looking for good cottage spots. To remedy this, duPont went back to the drawing board many times, finally creating a Lake Teflon® to which absolutely nothing sticks.

Lap

An essential part of the female anatomy. Useful for laying head on to rest. Also possessed by "The Gods".

LARD

A very aggresive type of fat

Larry King

A Jewish anchorman with the most attractive nose ever ( don't act like you don't know)

Laser

An acronym, when pulled apart stands for: Large Angry Sumerians Eating Reagan. (Acronym aproved by the ACAA "Acronym Creating Association of America") A LASER gun then, is a weapon for eating Reagan at large distances.

LISP

(abbreathe.)

1. Loth of Irritating and Thtupid Parenthethith
2. Ludicrouthly Inthane Thoftware Pirathy
3. Loadth of Irrational and Thentheleth Pathageth
4. Losth In Thtupid Parenthethith
5. Large Ithe-like Thpathe Particleth
6. Mrs Little

Lager

Lager is an English drink used as an alternative to breast milk for nursing infants.

Laggamuffin

Laggamuffin is a term used to describe someone who has a laggy internet connection or lags a lot. It is a combination of the words lag and raggamuffin. The term has been recently used on the irc network Gamesurge.

Lamellirostral

Such an incredibly long word that it is doubted anyone actually knows its meaning. Therefore it can be claimed to be nonexistant.

Lampshade

Lampshade is a rare herb used in Shriner fertility rites. It is known for its properties as a hallucinogen, diuretic, pain reliever, laxative, and potpourri. Lampshade grows in Germany, China, and certain parts of New Jersey. Selling lampshade is a federal offense.

Large Hadron Collider

A doomsday device being created by the Swiss, used to create black holes.

Larger

See big. Not to be confused with Lager. Thick people often misspell lager, so it's worth making the distinction.

Something your dick OBVIOULY isnt

Largish

Largish [Lar-Gish], Adjective - pertaining to largaity

Lastname

A Lastname (strictly speaking) is a name that comes last. Forbes Magazine lists the ten most prolific lastnames as: Khan, Nguyen, Singh, Wang, Kim, Sato, Smith, Bush, Nein and 10.

Later

I'll tell you later.

Latex gloves

An inexpensive alternative to the use of laxative. As well as condoms.

Lattice

A genetically modified derivative of Lettuce.

Laugh(ter) track

American sitcoms' contribution to the world. Also called canned laughter.

Law

An Idealist code which encourages the motives of anarchists

Law, Murphy's

See Murphy's Law

Lawsuit

A lawsuit is a vest worn by Knights and is used in enforcing their laws. If anyone disobeys the Knight, his lawsuit begins filling up with cash. Only one incident of drowning in cash has ever been reported, and the perpetrators were quickly sued back into line.

A fine producer of different lawsuits is SCO.

Lazy

An enlightened condition in which the true futility of Work is understood at the deepest level. This article was written by a lazy person and is therefore only 31 words long.

Being lazy allows any person to do a job with extreme efficiency. For example, when typing, a lazy person uses Acronyms, such as lol to increase their output, and decrease the amount of effort spent. In Lazy speak, that sentence would have been written as "FEWTALPUASALOLTITOADTAOES"

See also: How To ...Watch TV

Leader

A snake often found in France

Leafblowing

A sexual act performed between nymphomaniac street cleaners and people seeking public oral sex who are lucky enough to live in proximity to deciduous trees.

Leaky Susan

A burrito in which grease, juice and virgin female human blood drip out. Named after the late Mexican Prostitute De Donges who provided all the ingredients for the first, though poorly constructed, burrito.

Leave it there

Idiomatic; to "leave something there" is to accept patently contentious assertions uncritically, even tacitly endorsing them. Coined in the tradition of CNN, whose anchors and reporters frequently use the phrase, verbatim, to end segments featuring talking heads, regardless of content.

Originated by The Daily Show [1]

Lebanese Cedar

Most cedar trees bear small male flowers which emit pollen, and female flowers which are fertilised by pollen. Lebanese cedars, however, are exclusively female and reproduce without recourse to male organs.

Leefraction

Change in direction of workflows at the boundaries of geophysical tasks.

Leet (|_337)

A method of replacing letters with numbers or symbols and originally developed to quicken transport. This has however developed into an unintelligible code and ironically takes longer to type than normal coherent English. I should know. I timed it.

Leet Speaker(s)

Normally gaming geeks who play World Of Warcraft and 74|_|< |_Y|< |)15. They also tend to call everyone a "l0x0r" and are introverted. A few hardcore leetspeakers may actually leetspeak in public. This is a serious condition and requires immediate treatment.

Leetology

A following so secretive not even the founder knows about it.

Legend

1. Historical narrative and spurious claim found in vegetative growth at base of leg called a legume.

Legendary

A fantastic story about some bloke called Harry.

Lemmon Curry

Lemmon Curry is the love-child/clone created from the DNA of Jack Lemmon and Tim Curry. S/he lives in West Virginia and enjoys the films of Jack Klugman.

Lemur

Lemurs aren't flying cats found in the jungles of Sasquatchewan.

(The) Leonard coven

A cult of pagan women, devoted to rituals that include sitting in small dark rooms, smoking cigarettes, drinking cocktails and strumming weird songs of canadian origin (don’t ask) on guitar. These strange women usually respond to names like Suzanne, Marianne or Nancy. They refer to themselves as Sisters Of Mercy, but shouldn’t be approached for the business of pleasure.

lellow

Incorrect pronunciation of yellow, punch anyone in the face who uses this word, it's the only way they'll learn

Lent

1. Opposite of borrowed
2. Small bits of fluff that collect in the navel.

Lep

A lep is a ball. Remember, a lep is a ball.

Lesbian Hotel

The place most men wish existed, without actually realizing that, if it did, it would be of absolutely no use to them, since lesbians don't fancy men.

Lesbian Porn

Masturbation material for heterosexual men starring two or more heterosexual women who don't mind doing other women for money.

Lesbianage

A conspiracy whereby all of one's ex-girlfriends, one by one, suddenly become lesbians and instruct other girls, especially girls whom one is interested in, to do the same.

Levin

1. A lamp or light used to enlighten rooms with light and or lighten dark areas with a light so bright that it is lit like a lamp.
2. Often drunk in le glass

Lexicon

A lexus driven by a master criminal who went to an expensive school and has a way with words before ordering your execution. Many of the James Bond villians can be classified as 'Lexicons' as well, but not to be confused for Lexiconins, the inhabinets of Lexicon (planet).

LGPL

A league consisting of the GPL’s farm teams. Many of its players are drafted from the GFDL.

Liberal

A person who can remain firmly convinced of the validity of his position despite disastrous results as long as his intentions were good.

Liberal Party

A liberal party is one where you can do virtually what you like. Please take your litter home, assuming you can remember where that is once the party has ended.

Lickalotapus

One of the earliest Lesbian dinosaurs

License

License is a FUCKING VERB. Licence is a noun. For you 300,000,000 illiterate morons we spell different words differently so we can tell the difference otherwise all words would be spelt the same. You license people to use your software and issue them with licences. Someone tell Microsoft, IBM, Sun microsystems, Oracle, SAP(who are German and should get things right).

Please try to understand our language before you mess with it and show that you don't know what you are doing. Also, see Traveled, canceled, signaled. It's like revealed and revelled. Spot the difference.

Lickyourdogwherehepees

Mental condition that causes one to believe they have supernatural abilities to shape shift and lick own genitalia. Known cure is silver bullet to heart, decapitation, burning corpse, and pissing on the ashes after drinking grape Kool Aid. and grape kool-aid is delicious.

Life

1. A dragging nightmare made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits. 2. A Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) with a mortality rate of 100%. 3. A chronic case of repetitive motion sickness. 4. The perennial race against time--time is ever in the lead. 5. The bitch that comes before death- often killed by killer bees.

Lifer

A lifer is a person, who is mainly engaged in consuming alcoholic beverages, so-called "partying", socialising with peers and other various aspects of Real life. Whereas life is nowadays considered a normal part of human behaviour, it can lead to drug addiction and other asocial activities.

Lighthouse

n. a building created to house ghosts of drowned sailors.

n.2 a coastal structure built to warn randy sailors on passing ships that the local population on shore is suffering from a gruesome venereal epidemic and therefore they'd better move on.

Like

1) A term often used by preteens in completely the wrong way. 2a) as in Like Like : A creature on Zelda Games that appears to have spent to much time drinking seawater and consequently looks as if the punch may off been spiked. 2b) A term used by high-schoolers to describe a feeling above friendship, below love, maybe even a little lust. All in all, advised you don't use it unless you feel in the mood to be laughed (heartily, I might add) at.

Limerick

A joke to people who thinks that King Of Queens is groundbreaking television.

For example:

There once was a man from the sticks
Who liked to compose limericks
But he gave up the sport
'Cause he wrote 'em too short

Line of cod

The collective noun for cod is a line of cod. Cod are known to swim only in lines, nose to tail, rather than in the more fishily traditional 'school' formation. though this line formation is more accurate than a 'school', because in gradeschool, all one does is walk in a line.

Linux

The Peanutx character who alwayx xuckx hix thumb and carriex around hix xecurity blanket.

Linux Users Group

A Linux Users Group is a secret society organising meetings where people with a beard drink beer while honouring a bear named Tux. As a step towards disintoxication from beer, a Linux Users Group might rename itself as Linux Users Anonymous.

Linuchristian

Often abreviated Linuxian.

1. One of the open source languages of Penguiti. Spoken worldwide. Especially in the Linuchristian Church in the form of Vulgate Linuxian
2. A church, especially the Linuchristian Church, founded by Linu Christ
3. A member of the Linuchristian Church

Liouville's Theorem

Also known as the Morphing Theorem, this remarkable theorem actually proves an infinite amount of completely unrelated statements. A corollary of it states that every mathematics course will make use of one statement such that no two courses use the same statement.

Lisa Daniels

Lisa Daniels is a rock star who works for NBC News.
It is rumored that she often wears black panties.

Liposuction

See enclosed picture.

Lip-smacking tastilicious

• Sauce.
• Humans (see Grue).

Literal

• Of, in, or expressed by, letters
• Following the letter or original words
• Taking words or text in its usual or primary sense
• Without irony

Literature

The marketing material, warranty disclaimers, and quick-start sheets supplied with most consumer electronics. Might be used in the context: "Have you turned on your new iPod yet?" "No, but I've read all the literature."

Literary Critic

Somebody who watches porn for a living.

Litter

The outward sign of inward trash.

Little Brother

Every person who ever existed in the history of Humanity with the obvious exception of Big Brother.

Live Action Role-Playing

A method devised by Role-Players to enter prohibited places, it works on the principle of causing extreme nausea/laughter/amazement in any viewer, by acting out battles with realistic costumes and props against unrealistically dressed people pretending to be monsters. While the guards are puking/laughing/wondering why ANYbody would do something like this, they sneak into the guarded entrance.

This method was used by Hitler to conquer Western Civilization.

Live-action roleplaying

Live Action Roleplaying is when a group of geeks get together and, instead of sitting at a table rolling dice, they dress up in funny clothes and run around the woods playing "rock, paper, scissors" or something of the sort instead.

This generally happens when mom refuses to let them use the basement any longer, or when the doctor absolutely insists they need exercise of some sort.

Live And Let Die

A phrase meaning, "sit back and do nothing while your house conflagrates, taking out your family and pet dog". Consequently it later became the title of a popular James Bond film.

LiveJournal.com

A popular website for whingey goths, cutesy Japanese girls and otherwise uninteresting people who say 'lol' in real life. Also referred to to as 'infernal journals', both diurnal and nocturnal.

Liversnapper

A caustic hailing, indicating affection for the verbal recipient found commonly among meat industry workers.

Liz

Super funny and cute future Playmate of the Year. Resides in Spokane.

Llama

llama's are another breed of donkeys and are related to ninja's one way or another. They have 3 heads and can fly around. They often fly into bright lights and get hit by fans. Llama's were once the rulers of the world. They would boss everyone around and run across the road without looking which was not very nice as if you tried to fight with them, they would spit in your face and laugh. Llama's became extinct in the year 2010 (a little known fact)

Llama's currently do not rule the world, as they are in hiding. They are in disguise as many things in our everyday lives that we might see everyday. For example ; Toasters, llamas, elephants, humans, jews, fridges and giant man eating walruses. not to mention squid.

If you see a llama, run as it may eat you.

Llama Song

Song for llamas written by David Spade.

Llama Llewelyn Jones

Famous breed of Welsh goat .

LMAO

Stands for laughing my ass off. Refers to the action or condition of literally laughing so hard your ass actually falls off. May require immediate medical attention. If medical attention is unavailable, simply duct-taping the ass back on is acceptable.

Loads

1. Cheap ass toads.
2. Latin word for roads.
3. Lots but some dumbass had to spell this way.

Lodyev

Lodyev, pronounced (Loo-Die-Eve), Is russian for I Fucking Suck, Fear me noobs! That is all that could be dug up from the ancient rhelms of Runescape.

Locationalley

Locationalley. PN. Abv. Meaning: a shortened term used by people, usually ten year olds communicating by walkie-talkie and saving the world from the communists, wishing to reveal that they are currently situated in an alleyway.

Loin cloth

A loincloth is generally any article of clothing made of the fabric loin cloth. The fabric is woven from fine strands of loin, sirloin or sometimes steak. One might wonder why anyone would make cloth out of meat, but the answer is astoundingly simple: Edible panties. Every real man loves meat (especially his own), so what better material from which to make edible panties? "Loin cloth" can be bought in bulk at most big box stores disguised as packages of staples and marketed under the trade name, Nummy Num Staples. If you where one of these, you may find women of any kind will do anything to be at least 4 (million)centimetres away from you.

Lois

n. sometimes offensive A term given to wives who take forever to cook breakfast.

LOL

"LOL" is a abbreviation for "Loads of Laughter". The abbreviation of "LOL" was derived from the laughter that transpires from kinky sex.
When used in a chatroom, is a signal to God to kill exactly 2.196 kittens. This is exactly 1.196 more kitten deaths than what results from masturbating.

Lolgasm

What happens when you can't stop laughing. Not related to a Hogasm.

LOLWUT?

Haru Glory's ultimatest form(wait...is that a word?). Just one blast from his RAINBOW-A-MOUTH-A-BEAM attack will instantly transform the target into sushi.

PH33R TEH ALMIGHTY RAINBOW-A-MOUTH-A-BEAM!

His most powerful attack is Seizure Drive and makes full use of all those eye-hurtingly bright colors.

Remember people: When life throws you lemons, RAINBOW-A-MOUTH-A-BEAMZ0R THE FUCK OUT OF THEM AND TURN 'EM INTO SUSHI!

Lolth

Lolth (spelled as Lloth in France) is the goddess of laughing out loud. For some reason, she is associated with spiders, which aren't really that funny. She does find it amusing to rip people's limbs off occasionally, though.

Lomography

A technique used by photographers who have no real talent and therefore claim to be "modern artists" when in actuality a monkey could take the same picture. Often these pictures are taken without the photographer, or "lomographer", even looking at the subject of their "art".

Longing

An extreme form of the ing. Can be several miles in length on a good day

Lord of the Fatherland

Every ten minutes, a new Lord of the fatherland is elected to help battle Non-USALand, which includes the Scottish places known as Arsewank and Fuck All. The last one conquered a part of Fuck All when he was drunk as hell. This place is now known as United States territory. Creative name, isn't it? The Lord of the fatherland is elected through a ritual game of Beat the French Guy With a Shoe. The winner must then drink an entire keg of beer to prove he's worthy of being Lord of the fatherland and conquering Non-USALand.

Loser

1. Loser means you have low server space. This happens when you press both mouse buttons at the same time. (Or if you are on a Mac, when you press the mouse button.) You should immediately call your ISP and tell them to format your keyboard drivers.
2. This Guy
3. There is also latinamerican losers, for example this guy known as Spiderboy
4. User

• “Users are losers, and losers are users”

  ~ McGruff the Crime Dog on approval of losers using drugs

1. Michael Stibbard
2. Michael Kulic
3. Jew Gold

Loop

A device used to waste everybody's time. For more information, see loop.

Lourdes

A cricket ground in France, England that is blessed by the Virgin Mary and also by her sister, the Whore Philomena a bit. It is a popular destination for pilgrims and its holy water (called Dasani) is highly prized. The England cricket team often hold matches there because they think the holy mother of O'Christ will help them to win. However, this does not work as she can only do miracles, not the impossible.

Love

1. A misunderstanding between two fools.
2. A state of temporary insanity in which important decisions should not be made.
3. A combination of insecurity and carnal desire.
4. The thing you're meant to be in while having sex.
5. A white sticky substance that you clean up with a mop and bucket.
6. The main ingredient in almost everything your grandmother makes

Lover's Lane

Land of damaged mannequins. Many of them have been injured in service of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizadry. Dumbledore often bathes and dresses the mannequins and gives them Russian accents. He may be heard shouting: "Wrap your legs around him and kiss him really hard. Boobs! Holy Shit. Oh, more boobs. Your crotch looks huge!" Lover's Lane may also be known as a prolific buyer of MiraLAX.

Lovers' Tiff

A beauty spot near Lovers' Leap where it all starts to go wrong.

Lucky Charms

1. Childrens breakfast cereal with multi colored, multi shaped marshmallows. Mascot is a leprechaun. 2. Anything one thinks will bring good luck / fortune. Example: Horseshoes, clovers, rabbits feet etc

Lucky Strike

A Lucky Strike is one that actually accomplishes something.

Lucky Strike is a marijuana cigarette company founded on 1437. It quickly became the best in the world and even Bob Marley became a regular customer. [[2]]

Carl "CJ" Johnson purchased the company in 1783 and turned it into a Cocaine-IceCream company. He sold millions of Cocaine-Packed IceCreams and became so rich that in 3902 he returned the company to it's first owners who were able to sell the best marijuana cigarettes in the whole wide world.

Lube

A word used to replace any word you can't be lubed to remember. Usage in everyday lube might go something like this:

'You coming to get some lube?'

'I would, but I've got no lube'

'It's alright, the lubes on me.'

'Good lube!'

The only difficulties with the phrase are encountered when ordering in restaurants.

Lubricate

A word that makes a car mechanic randy and in the mood to have sex with an exhaust manifold.

Lunatic

A blood-sucking insect found only on the moon, discovered by Neil Armstrong 12 minutes after departing the lunar surface in 1969

Lynchpin

A small fastening device used at hangings.

Lymph

An ambulatory impediment: to walk with a lisp.

Lyre

A musician who likes to fib their way through a concert.

Lyrics

A device whereby the same musical composition can be sold over and over again under different titles.