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"Mommy needs a pick me up." --AmericanBastard 23:36, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

AmericanBastard: is a half German, quarter Jewish, 113/17th Klingon, 3 QUARTER JELLY DOUGHNUT, and a highly sacrilegious and inflammatory two-legged mammalian with fingers and some pubic hair. Often claims to be American though some question the nominality as to whether he/she is from the ubiquitous America (U.S.A.) or Brazil. AmericanBastard encourages you to ask him/her this question, even though you probably could care less, so that he/she may proudly ignore you.

Originally known as DJ Cockspank, but was banished from Uncyclopedia in 1984 for vanity. Felt ashamed, discouraged and unfunny. As a result, AmericanBastard mutated into a caterpillar and sought seclusion in some cave to ponder grievances for 9 months, the gestation period of a butterfly-mutant. AmericanBastard has happily returned to the faceless internet community of uncyclopedia to waste more time with people who think they're funny.

Member since Dec 2006. Feedback (-42)




  • Jewbag - Funny, nonetheless huffed, by none other than Jewish admins who concluded that this was the only form of censurable racial offensiveness.
  • DJ cockspank - HUFFED* - My first article ever. This article was so incredibly vain that if you ever red it, your veins would've popped out of your skin and slithered away like snakes near a fire. Persistant recreations of it granted me a very sexy ban of 3 months, an attempted suicide over uncyc, and Rasputin's pickled loins... In a jar!!

Me hope u injoyed résumé,, do I get job now?

ThinkerToilet.jpg This user is a member of the Reviewing Committee, because they are self opinionated knowitalls.

US flag.png This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
Sabatier.jpg This user is a member of the American Otaku Association. They guard Japan-based articles with the zeal of a fanboy and the grace of manga.


Domokunyellownbackground.jpgThis User is cleaning latrines for the Grue Army. DON'T FEAR HIM.
This user is unsure of his or her gender and doesn't want to know.