From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
The main cast of Naruto, and one other guy that isn't part of the main cast.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Manwithnoname/Naruto.

“This show is about ninjas...but where are the ninjas?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Naruto

Naruto is a Japanese toilet adaptaded in anime


The main theme is ninjas who wear everything besides common ninja traditional clothes. The Story is about Naruto, and his million of friends who seems to get the spotlight despite no one of them is called Naruto. Basically like all animes it has needless violence and its full of fan-shippings when it is pre-teen, and even if it wasn't it still would have anyaway. As it seems Naruto has an Hentai version, written and drawn by the same people who does the anime. So it has stuff like Yuri (lesbians) and Yaoi (fag - this was created since that accidental kiss of Sasuke and Naruto they all think it was with feeling despite it was an accident).


The story is essentially about ninjas (yeah that again), though those are yet to be seen. Its apparently about some guy called Naruto (i'm tired of saying the same shit), who when was a baby was used to hold a Ninetales in his body. By this happening he become to wield enormous power, whenever he had an emotional shock, he would become Super-Saiyan thanks to Ninetales.

The Quest About this boy in one of becoming Hokage, essentially becoming a leader of some village who doesn't like you despite you saved their worthless butts. Now I believe that's it, he will go like ten seasons into becoming Hoka, until it ends abruptly (he doesn't have his wish turned true) in order to start a new volume, two years later one more time involving the same theme, "let's use needless ninja violence when we actually aren't ones".

Of course it has movies some I don't know if they are canon, but let's imagene its not. Here is one example of a non-canon movie:

Naruto the film 36 Part 700: Naruto FINALLY is an Hokage

NARUTO - My friend finally I am an Hokage and all evil is destroyed.

SASUKE - Yeah Naruto this is a non-canon movie.


SASUKE - It means it did never happen.

NARUTO - But i killed the bad guys,like , i almost lost all my limbs out there.

SASUKE - Yeah kinda its just to show that animes in film adaptation is better than in tv. So you can forget about that. Well hope your ready to do more needless ten years of this and be stuck in the same plot as you always know.

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)

That's why we love Naruto as we love Son Goku. (Note i'm going to create an unscript around this movie... or not).


Note: Naruto and the girls and rock lee and his stupid master

"Nobody likes characters without personality." Thank you for the info. That kids was Apparent Boy sidekick of Captain Obvious. N

Naruto Uzumaki

When they were giving out brains, apparently they didn't give to the original guy who wrote the article before me (just kiddin dude). Well The guy (Naruto) is dumb we get that, which is not a reference of any other anime male chatacters. Contrary to popular belief he is the de facto main character, despite in Shippuden it seems he is as important of that other guy whose name is unknow to me cause i'm lazy to even bother know who he is (hint: that teacher in the first episode who sounds who is a main character but it is not, not the bad one the good one is name is Iruka Umino).

Sasuke Uchiha

Naruto's first wannabe-lover. This guy had a dark past, it seems apparently his brother killed the rest of his family because he though it was fun. Well Sasuke didn't found it fun so now is like going out on vegeance. Despite that he is a rival to Naruto, he contains the intelligence of Vegeta and the closeted homo feeling of Gary Oak (how the hell i know that doens't matter) to his rival. True be told they are freinds.

Sakura Haruno

Sakura is even more manly than then Sasuke, then again, that's not so hard

Sorry kids that's Sakura in a bad day. A bad day for Sakura is getting rejected by Sasuke 5 times in a second and Naruto taking advantage of it in less than that. As being an anime girl she is subject to Hentai. She is nice girl, who bears a dark passenger (that's waht i call her to that black thing in the background whe she gets angry, at least it appears in the anime).

Kakashi Hatake

GRAB THE BUTT. It seems you must put the chakra in thought of little children

The leader of team 7, who seems to have gain pedophile feelings for naruto. Do you people remenber that book first seen, while he was training them? Well guess what? The Title was "Child 'R' Us". But no longer discussing the story of this man. He is an incredible badass, who despite of all odds always seems to have his life saved by showing a technique who no would ever though it would exist or would be ridicolous for someone care.


Sasuke's replacement. It seems apparently this fine young man has no feelings or emotion by any other people, due to powerful training, but then suddenly when he meets Naruto he gains those things, its incredibly this Naruto, how can he change the mind of every young man by questioning their sexual orientation. The guy always carries a scroll, and whenever it draws in there, it always come to life, it has been recently found out that he has images of male ninjas. He is also a tremendous warrior here is an example:

Orochimaru deploys his ninja. Strange enough this image is localized next to Sai

SAI - You're weak. Do you even have a cock?

GUYBRUSH - Why? Did you want to borrow one? (Guybrush wins).

SAI - You wished your not part of this universe whoever put you here is stupid.

GUYBRUSH - Oh Yeah? Well your mother is stupid.

SAI - Your Mother is a whore. (Sai Wins, Guybrush throws himself to the sea).


NARUTO - Oh geez Sai why did you do that?

SAI - Because it was fun.

NARUTO - Believe it, your stupid.

SAI - Your sentence is...

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)

I guess he is not that powerful.


Kakashi's temporary replacement. He controls wood - which it means forest, my little freinds of age 10. It seems apparently he is trainer, since his ability can be used to host animals, such as the Vulpix of Naruto, i just don't know why vulpix uses a fucking flamethrower in his forest but oh hey anime here.


Jiraiya is a man who loves to knock his own wood. Its a dude with a big hair who makes sound Simba a female-lion when comparing to him. It seems he can summon frogs and can turn tigers, showing that he loves bestiality, or is the result of one.


Some people says he is a fererence to Michale Jackson, maybe, if he likes children. Orochimaru is the bad man of the first series, suddenly in Shippuden aftertraining Sasuke, he manages to be killed rapdly by him, it sucks to be him.

SASUKE - Yeah Orochimaru it has been fun it all but i'm gonna kill you.

OROCHIMARU - Why? After all this training, aren't we like Father and Son?

SASUKE - No, its me serioulsy, We should start seeing other people, by the way aren't you trieng to drain my body or something?

OROCHIMARU - No, its... a uh. Can you sit still?

SASUKE - Nope. (Sasuke kills him)

SASUKE - Now off to go kill my brother.

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)

SASUKE - WHAT THE FUCK? It's the same joke over and over and again and again... Monoculture.

NARUTO - Sorry old habits die hard.

SASUKE - Your right my love.

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)



Tsunade is an example how women aren't stereotyped into becomeing boob monsters, nor it shows influence into becoming hentai.

Itachi Uchiha

Sasuke's older brother, who killed the entire Uchiha family excluding Sasuke. Sasuke kills him later, yup pretty much time to regret that.

Kisame Hoshigaki

AKA Shark Man, or some shit like that. It seems he belonge to the clan of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, consequetly he has a big sword.

ITACHI - Hi my name is Itachi, i murdered my family and you?

KISAME - Well, i like big swords.

(He shows his sword who seems to be at the front of his crotch)

ITACHI - Small dick uh?

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)

ITACHI - You were not even born during this time how is this possible?


Kiba Inuzaka & Akamaru:

One more ocasion where dog dogminates. As you can see Kiba has many dog traits, such as chewing any stuff, smell someone's ass, eating trash and other dog shit, oh yeah he does that aswell. Akamaru is master, who is a dog by the way.

Hinata Hyuga

A shy girl who is attracted to the moron of the series (Naruto, not me), she hides her feelings because she believes that will help her conquer her desired one, like all pre-teen animes waht are you gonna see his an almost decade of her is avoiding her true feelings to Naruto by reasons unkown. Let's imagine our characters aren't immortal and now they are old:

NARUTO - Oh hello Hinata

HINATA - Hi Naruto (blushes incridbly sounding she is having an avc or some old man's disease)

NARUTO - Do you want me to tell me something?

HINATA - Oh...uh (She suddenly dies)

NARUTO - She is dead?

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)

NARUTO - I'm a bit too old now for that.

(Naruto farts his pants killing the world)

Its an addiction by now

Shino Aburame

All of the stupid and non-rip off cast of Naruto, this might be the only one who is actual cool. His special ability is to summon bugs to do his bidding, then again between the sex opposite he might not be that sucessful, but then again remenber, bugs are his bitches.

Asuma Sarutobi

A jonnin with almost no abilities whatsoever, excepting two called Flying Swallow and Ash Product Burning. He was the leader of Team 10, in another words he is dead, yes my freinds cry ver much for our lost, our freind with his Snake Attitude by smoking some cigarrettes left a still very hot window.

Kurenai Yuhi

Kurenai Yuhi leader of some team, (too lazy to remenber)she was apparently the secret wife of Asuma, why they decided to keep a secret is unknown. Eventuallys she get pregnant, becaming then a hot pregnant (tough after she gives birth who knows what she will become). I always wondered how did she received the news of death o her husband, here what i believe it happened:

RANDOM GUY - Kurenai, I have got bad and good news.

KURENAI - Hit me straight Random Guy.

RANDOM GUY - If you insist...

KUREANI - I meant the news

RANDOM GUY - Oh! Well first the bad news, your husband is dead. I'm sorry.

KURENAI (She sobs incontrably) - Oh (sniff) I can't believe this, tell me that the good news is that the one responsible is dead.

RANDOM GUY - Alright the responsible is dead

KURENAI - Really?


KURENAI - Then why did you...? Well what are the good news then?

RANDOM GUY - Well the good news is...THAT YOUR AVAILABLE.

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)

KURENAI - Isn't that my line?

NARUTO - Yeah but you don't have a vulpix inside of you now do you?

Ino Yamanaka

A blond girl who has a fuckin feeling for Sasuke, barely she knows that his true feeling is for the main character. To be sincere i don't know what to tell more about her. What she is hentai, she compromaises tem 10 with the other stupid and the fatso? Or should i say she is a clone of Sakura? That's stupid.

Choji Akimichi

A member of Team 10 called Fat Guy by unknow reasons, it seems apparently bu unknown reasons again he had never a girlfreind some people say because he paints his cheeks with a red pencil and has a stupid hat instead of a headband, still why anyone wouldn't date the guy? Here is a day conversation for fatso guy:

INO - Hi Choji you look great.

CHOJI - Shut Up you bitch I'm not fat

SHIKAMARU - Choji she didn't called you fat.

CHOJI - I'm not fat how many times do I have to repeat myself?

ASUMA - None of us called you fat Choji.

CHOJI - I'm not fat deadman, which reminds me aren't you dead or something?

NARUTO - Choji come on no one called you fat, and besides why don't you just admit the truth. Much more easy.

CHOJI - You mean like Sasuke?

NARUTO - Yeah sure.

CHOJI - Allright... I'M GAY.


INO - Well it explains why he paints his cheeks.

CHOJI - Wasn't I suppose to accept the true like Sasuke?

NARUTO - I though we were describing your true not sasuke's.

SASUKE - Someone called me?


SASUKE - Then stop fuckin refering my name, by the way Choji your fat.

(Choji cries incontrabbly)

NARUTO - For fuck's sake...Let's end this.

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)

No one likes him and only a idiot wishes to see him in the anime or the manga.

Rock Lee

Rock Lee who is not base on Bruce Lee neither he is teacher. It seems apparently he only knows taijutsu. Now they call a ninja a person who uses ninjutsu and he doesn't know that, it's just plain stupid.

Neji Hyuga

Neji much like her shy cousin got some blue eyes, usually fanboys of Naruto whenever sees this character think its very cool saying "cool", showing strange feelings for such a stupid character as he his. He belong to Team Guy, he works together with Rock Lee.


The only girl in Team Guy, which is very strange, in part II it seems that like all other girl her breasts are augmented.

Another stupid creature who possesed another stupid kid.
The reason he is happy its because someone is from behind. Look at that strange thing behind must be an animated statue or some shit.


Gaara has the abilitie to control desert at will. Just like Naruto he was possessed from behind by another pokemon turning him almost invulnarable.


He is the older brother of Gaara, strange enough he was influenced by the latter instead of being the other away around. It seems he wields puppets who are his attackers. A bit just like Choje he paints himself because he is hiding his gay self.


The oldest sister of those two. Her abilitie is conected to the wind which is very weak for many anime fans, for example look at the hurricanes they just don't destro thousands of houses and lifes.

Dosu's Legendary Power - asking quetions no one cares and sounding like a stupid owl when he actually doens't sound like one.


He is one of the many favorite characters of Naruto, i have to give that those bandages sounds that like a badass then again who would be stupid enough to wear so many bandages closing the fuckin eye? Well only him.



Like all good and bad mangas, it always suffers an anime adaptation in which everyone knows like that despite the fact that manga might be canon but no one cares. Usually when someone sees the manga of an anime it thinks it is the bible itself has been written. Usually fanboys decided it is good to waste their time by making comparisions or usually metaphor because it sounds your a genius and not a nerd with-no-life, with happenings of real life situation with those on the anime. Examples:

"Your as hot as Sasuke" (Fanboy speaking to another Fanboy)

"Alright class hope your prepared for your exam" "Is it Chunin?" (During the break the kid is myteriously murdered)

Notable Episodes

Note: Parts of the episodes commentaries were written by some fanboys you will notice that with the "". Actually a great info of the episodes were written by the fanboys.

  • Episode 1: Naruto graffitis statues and shit (is the first episode so we say its a great one).

NARUTO - Sensei, did you see? I used Multiple Shadow Clone Technique.

MASTER WHO CARES - Yeah Naruto, i'm wondering if you barely could use the clone technique in which you failed during the that graduation test, but you managed to learn that technique just right now by reading some paper on the very first try...


MASTER WHO CARES - Look this is stupid i mean your a round zero and still you managed to learn such a difficult jutsu, don't you think its ridicolous?

NARUTO - ahm... Believe it?

MASTER WHO CARES - Sincerely Naruto you kind suck as much as this...

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)

  • Episode 3: Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke form Team 7. Nothing much else happens except Sakura nearly kisses Sasuke who is actually Naruto in disguise (though some people would prefer the way around).
  • Episode 4-5: Team 7 have to fight Kakashi into order to get a pair of bells. Naruto gets sexually assaulted by Kakashi (many fans jerked off during that time), Sasuke half buried in dirt and Sakura does nothing (since every fanboy rather prefer to see the two working instead of the girl no one likes a wet girl).
  • Episode 6-20: Team 7 help a drunken old man to fight against Zabuza and his big ass sword.

NARUTO - Ready yourself Zabuza i'm gonna kill you.

ZABUZA - Oh Yeah? Well be ready because i'm gonna smash you into pieces.

(He readys the sword which is front of his crotch)

NARUTO - Small dick uh?

ZABUZA - Yeah you know...OH you little bastard i'm gonna kill you.

NARUTO - I hope your ready to my incredible technique its...

KAKASHI - Now , now Naruto you can't use that because you haven't been in rage before. Besides your incredible jutsu you know is Jutsu Girl, wich i'm very interested to learn.

(Naruto turns to super-saiyan and kills everyone even if they were innocent)

Whate better episode could have ended?

  • Episode 21: Gaara and his siblings show up! (MORE MEN YES... wait there is a girl here, curses)
  • Episode 22-36: The Genin ninjas participate in the Chewing ("lulz i'm so funny i said Chewing instead of Chunin") Exams to become better ninjas. They first participate in a wacky exam where they must cheat to win, and then survive for about a week in a deadly forest. Orochimaru appears as a woman ("woman are evil") and bites Sasuke, leaving him with an evil tattoo ("see?"). Sakura has a five seconds moment of fame where she cuts her hair (now she is more manly like the fanboys wishes) and beats up a Sound Ninja before Sasuke breaks his arms. Naruto spends the whole time being stupid and asleep (and for the rest of the series).
  • Episode 37-51: The surviving ninjas who made it out of the forest, which are all main characters ("but not all boys, DAMN"), must all duke it out Mortal Kombat style (oh yeah) to lower the finalists in the exam. Sasuke beats down Animeflagger123 (who the?); Shino fills that sound guy with bugs; Kankuro drives another guy mad with his scary-looking puppet; Sakura and Ino face off with rubbish moves ("worst battle ever, i want men") and too many flashbacks, both of them disqualified for talking too much ; Temari literally kicks Tenten's ass; Shikamaru makes a girl knock herself out ("how i think i'm in love"); Kiba and Akamaru go Wolverine on Naruto but are defeated by a fart (Naruto doesn't always need to become super-saiyan to win); Hinata is sadly defeated by Neji the Cool Idiot ("which we fanboys love, cool") and Naruto vows to avenge her using floor ketchup (sad fanboy joke); Rock Lee rules the world with his amazing moves but his back is snapped by Gaara ("he is SO lucky"); and Choji is blown up by the mummy man. Orochimaru also tries to rape Sasuke ("i wich i was in sasuke's shoes wait orochiamru is a woman on the second thought...").
  • Episode 52-57: Jiraiya shows up for some action ("we love him to see him knock on his wood").
  • Episode 58: Gaara goes gaga (queen?) and tries to kill Lee .
  • Episode 59-67: The surviving ninjas face-off. Naruto and Hinata have a nice chat and Naruto beats Neji senseless; Shikamaru surrenders to Temari even though he is about to win ("idiot but still loveable"); Kankuro surrenders to Shino before the match even starts; and Gaara goes bonkers again, eats ("i wished he had done the same for me") too ninjas and battles Sasuke, who defeats Gaara, sending him overboard.
  • Episode 68-79: The Hidden Leaf Village is attacked by people of the Sand village, Sound village and the Smurf Village and Fanboygay Village. Gaara is revealed to have a giant raccoon ("i though it was a giant penis") inside him and he and a clone of the Ninetails (it evolved from vulpix apparently) fight. Gaara loses and become a good guy.
  • Episode 80: The Third Hokage dies in Donkey Kong's arms ("lulz funny again i referred his technique") but not before paralyzing Orochimaru's arms. Everyone gives him flowers and Naruto briefly goes emo. So sad!
  • Episode 81: Itachi and Jaws ("lulz why am i so funny? i referred to kisame as being the jaws due to his likeness") show up. The fanbase cheers!
  • Episode 109: Sasuke, his emoism getting the better of him, follows five of Orochimaru's hellspawn and leaves the village. Sakura is not loved ("but i will always love him").
  • Episode 110-130: Naruto, Shikamaru, Choji, Neji, Kiba and Akamaru chase Sasuke and the hellspawn, each stopping to fight and kill one. Lee appears and fights the last. ("greates episode ever cause we saw men action")
  • Episode 131-134: Naruto and Sasuke have a big Matrix Revolutions-style fight. Naruto falls unconsious and Sasuke wanders off. ("another excellent episode oh yeah cause they were man")
  • Episode 135-220: The Fillers begin!!! Hinata gets naked ("NOOOOO") in the first episodes; Lee becomes drunk; that queer guy from Episode 1 comes back as a tiger man ("YES"); Kiba and Akamaru have puppies; George Bush tries to blow up the village ("lulz i'm so funny again"); Sakura still does nothing ("let her always be like that forever"); the show crosses over with Bleach and Inuyasha briefly, which many fans loved ("i would love if the they all starred in this 'Naruto & Bleach & Inuyasha: All the males meet for Yaoi'"); Tsunade flashes Naruto; and Gaara fights a big monster in the last episodes. Naruto and Jiraiya go off to train for three years (Naruto is gonna learn Knock On The Wood).
  • Naruto Shippuden Episodes: Everything goes real slowly ("So i can see more the men"). Gaara briefly dies at the hands of Deidara's cool quiff (man only a moron would like quiff hairstyle which by the away his style is not quiff); Sakura starts doing stuff ("oh no"); Team Kakashi gets useless Sai and Yamato as their new partners; Orochimaru reveals he is Michael Jackson and sends Naruto into crazy mode; Sasuke returns even more emo than ever ("that's how i like him"). Oh and the anime is about a billion story arcs the manga, by which time Sasuke has killed Itachi, Jiraiya drowned, Asuma is dead, and Tobi is the First Hokage! ("In Your Face Naruto)


Rock Lee is a old black fatso?.


As seen above, many fans have constructive criticism for Naruto. Not all fans are like this, however. Many fans have blind, unrelenting faith in the series. These "Naruphiles" are zombie-like in their endless support of the series. The following is a Naruphile's response to the above quote.

Kishi kicks ass! screw ALL HATERS! Naruto knocks all the other shows dead with "1000 years of deATH!!!" Wooot! woot! Yeah, in yer fuckin face crash n' burn!

Now the conclusion is... who the fuck hell cares about your opinion? Go fuck your sister or something like that.

Reception (by me, yeah who the fuck would be?)

I guess I don't like Naruto, much because some freinds of sime said that i must watch Naruto or else i'll die in hell, they said thing "Oh It's so additictive", and shit like that. Well it isn't bad, it's just there is no reason to get offended and try to change the article. Cause when whe i saw the artice in uncyclopedia it was shit, all becauses the fans can't handle their favorite anime being humiliated so i guess its right to degradate one's ethinicity, desiase, [[[religion]], stupid country and even their shit.

Oh and basically i ripped-off the article from the other guy but i made if a bit more funny fuck it, MUCH more funny, or just plain stupid but hey at least i'm not saying "I'm a good reviewer" or saying worthless shit like "I forget doing my math work" yeah no one cares


See Also

   v  d  e
Manwithnoname/Naruto is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.
Fries.png Quasi-Featured Article (4 October 2007)
This article was nominated to become a featured article; however, due to several votes being devoured by an Ogier, it didn't make the cut (14.5/17). Don't let this happen again! For just pennies a day, you can prevent another travesty of this nature, or vote for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.