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DrapeauCanada.png.png This user is Canadian
...and actually admits to it!
ca-N This user is a native speaker of Canajan, eh?.
ja-X This user only speaks Japanese enough to seduce native Japanese speakers.
1 This user rewrote 1 page for Conservation Week, because s/he cares. How many have you rewritten, huh?

This user plays the accordion, but has never met Weird Al Yankovic; but he knows someone who met him after a concert in which he threw his boxer shorts at her. Or something like that. (And no, the after-concert meeting did not involve the aforementioned boxer shorts. Get your mind out of the gutter).

This user prefers to play croquet in the snow. He never set the world record for endurance croquet when he was 19 years old because it would have meant staying up FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT; and it seems unfair you

Me... a few years ago.

can't get in the Guinness Book by doing something, well, a little less strenuous. If you could, I bet a lot more people would be willing to set world records and they would sell a lot more books.

Speaking of world records, I once ate at a restaurant in Takamatsu, Japan, which at the time held the record for plate-spinning. I spent three months in Japan teaching English, though I learned little Japanese, other than a few useful sayings such as "I love you but I can't marry you," and "if you really love me, you'll stop asking me to eat raw fish."

I recently completed my MFA in creative writing at the University of British Columbia. Don't hold the quality of my articles against the UBC Creative Writing program.

Commander of the Order


I have written almost 0.1% of all Uncyclopedia articles (a whole 22) and over 0.1% of all UnNews articles (11).

Featured Articles:

180px-The Earth seen from Apollo 17-white.jpg In recognition of your contribution toward maintaining a humourous atmosphere on Uncyclopedia.

Thank you for keeping Uncyclopedia cool.

I proudly announce that this article has been translated into Portugese.

Here's two bucks a charming portrait of a bipolar bear for your heartfelt support of manic-depressive wildlife.

Bipolar Bears Rule!!


I proudly announce that this article has been translated into both Portugese and French.


Though it's cold and lonely in the deep, dark night

They can see a Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light

Fuzzy dice.jpg

391px-Rasputin pt.jpg Do you like my picture? May I take yours? Let me pick out something for you to pose in from my box of photos of you that I keep under my bed.

You don't think that's creepy, do you?

H1N1 influenza virus.jpg You voted to make H1N1 a front-page story!

Exposing millions to fear and spreading paranoia! And now the story has mutated! Misinformation everywhere! ...thanks a lot!!!

- also made the UnNews front page November 10, 2009

.segassem nataS wollof lanimilbus yna dragersid esaelP !sdrawkcab ti daer uoy ,yeH !sdrawkcab egassem siht daer ton oD !sdrawkcab egassem siht daer ton oD



Other articles I wrote: (before people "improved" them)

UnNews Reports

- made the UnNews front page January 18, 2008
- made the UnNews front page February 4, 2011

Articles I re-wrote:

Articles I contributed significantly to:


GoldenShower.jpg Rejoice, Rogpyvbc! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award
For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Articles I have received the Golden Shower Award for reviewing:

And I got this for reviewing Obsessive-compulsive rhyming disorder (featured):

Other articles I've reviewed:


- Ljlego also awarded me one of these for helping put templates on articles nominated for deletion.

Favourite Articles I Didn't Write[edit]

Pumpkin pie.jpg Herr Doktor has awarded you a pumpkin pie!
For voting on Gallows Humor

"With your stamina refilled, time to work!"

Lord Kearsy of Wicked

Mr. Kearsy so cool, he doesn't have to say anything in order to thank you. Just look into his eyes and you'll know.

Detective1.jpg A tall, dark man pushes a note into your hand; it reads:
"The The Don thanks you for voting for
Film Noir. He offers a free secret from
Jimmy the Shoeshine Boy as a reward."

The man turns away, muttering he has an appointent with someone's mom...

Magnifying Glass.jpg Sonic80 has awarded you a magnifying glass of which you, too, may use to get thousands of dollars, in government subsidies for insect torture research.

Link to Recent UnNews[edit]

The powers that UnBe seem intent on hiding from us the place to get our news stories on the main page. So here it is: Template:RecentUnNews. Ha!