User talk:Oliphaunte

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Archives for users. ARRRRcives for pirates[edit]

Archive 1

Messages and hugs go down HERE[edit]


I like that header image you used. The sign. Very precise. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 03:55, 15 August 2011

And sadly, very true. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 07:01, August 15, 2011 (UTC)


Hey Oliphaunte! They finally rounded up the score and we won by a long shot, now the second round begins, let's regroup like a bunch of wolves there and decide our next move! Talk Mattsnow 05:34, August 16, 2011 (UTC)

Sounds good. I'll be there in a bit. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 21:48, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
sorry for the other night, did I say anything stupid? I hope not, let's move on, I postde some new stuff on our collective talk page ! :) Talk Mattsnow 20:56, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
You called me a cunt and told me to stop talking to you so you could continue fondling your gerbil. Aside from that, nothing extraordinary. I'll have to get to our article tomorrow though, shit keeps piling on whenever I sit down for 5 minutes =_=.... --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 03:00, August 23, 2011 (UTC)
I am so depressed I said that. When I start on alcohol... I really said that? I am embarassed beyond words... I can't believe it, I feel so bad. Talk Mattsnow 03:08, August 23, 2011 (UTC)
I am so depressed, I don't know if I should leave Uncy, I think I remember being an ass with Lyrithya too, but I don't recall being unnice to you, though I believe you I did. Damn I suck, fucking alcohol. Talk Mattsnow 03:25, August 23, 2011 (UTC)
Interesting... it looks like we've discovered this fellow's weakness... we certainly can't let him leave, not now that we have so powerful a tool to use against him. Wouldn't you agree, Oliphaunte? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 04:16, 23 August 2011
Absolutely Lyrithya. I never even knew this young chap had a gerbil (I assume his apologies confirm that suspicion). Anywho, you shouldn't leave Matt, I was just joking with you. Although Lyrithya now knows your weakness, so maybe consider hiding somewhere where she rarely looks. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 14:02, August 24, 2011 (UTC)
Rar. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 13:27, 24 August 2011
Matt, if it's any consolation, I find your alcoholism hilarious. In fact, you're not a Hyperbole sock, are you? --Black Flamingo 13:50, August 24, 2011 (UTC)
Let's not encourage the poor man to become an alcoholic, eh? --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 14:35, August 24, 2011 (UTC)

Did you guys write a second article? --ShabiDOO 22:29, August 24, 2011 (UTC)

It's still being worked on, but I think we may have scared Matt into hiding, so we'll see. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 23:45, August 24, 2011 (UTC)
Lets say...24 hours more????? --ShabiDOO 01:45, August 25, 2011 (UTC)
If possible, that would help us out a lot and give us time to finish the second one. Thanks very much. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 02:23, August 25, 2011 (UTC) lets say that at 02.00 UTC Friday (which is 10pm ET [new york] Thursday) is the very last edit for the tournament allowed. Have fun :) If no article is linked by then...then we win by default...which will be pretty shitty. --ShabiDOO 02:32, August 25, 2011 (UTC)
Is the comp still on? Sorry I have been away, I had to take a bit of time off. I'm sober as can be and I hope we win that competition! :) Talk Mattsnow 19:08, August 27, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Oliphaunte I just saw you voted for me on WotM after that rather embarassing thing I'll never mention again, thank you man, the appreciation is not really for the vote, but rather for the fact that this cheered me up! I hope we win the competition and we collab again, you are a great writer. Don't be swept away by that hurricane, stay in the bunker and give me news about how it went (if you are in its path) Here they forecast minor floodings. Talk Mattsnow 15:06, August 28, 2011 (UTC)
Somebody put mini-golf on VFH, sparing us the whole Pee process (and unclogging Pee), and I credited the whole team, so 0.5 feature thingie to all team members if it makes it (I am so sure it will). We're a team until the end! Talk Mattsnow 16:27, August 28, 2011 (UTC)

Hurricane was fun, although it was gone when I woke up the next morning...It'll call me, right?

Anyways, don't worry about the vote, I did it because you're great writer and a good person all around. Also, sorry I haven't been involved as much as I wanted to be with the competition (and this site in general) , just be moving to a different state and getting site for school and stuff stuff stuff. I'll be back sometime soon, hopefully, so I'll let you know then and we can then do a collaboration, eh? In the meantime, let me know if you have any ideas for a collab ahead of time. Peace and have a good day. This message will now explode. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 23:06, August 29, 2011 (UTC)

Well guys I've just tweaked sun a bit (and burnt my hands in doing so) and I have a good feeling it could become a second feature for the team. If it turns out that way you're all welcome to 0.5 of a feature credit. Please, I insist. --Black Flamingo 20:31, August 31, 2011 (UTC)

1st prize- Smart Guys Get It.[edit]

And I had spent RM10 ($3.3333333333333333....) on making this shit template.

Phallic stadium01.jpg
Congratulations on winning the Uncyclopedia Summer Extravaganza!
Keep this and go insane all over!

File:Belantara- Dewi
Plus I had spent my remaining RM15 on this.
GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Giratina CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 09:40, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

[1]Seriously, how did you get your article featured[edit]

Hello Oliphaunte.[1] You may not know me, but I know you. Actually, I'm here to ask you something. I've seen your article on Pops and Junior and it got featured. Yeah yeah congratulations. But I just wanted to know, is there a way to get your article featured WITHOUT NOMINATING IT ON THE VFH? If so, how? I'm being serious( with the exception of the horrible puns) as I'm not excactly a beginner, but is desperate to know. I'm too shy(because, you know, I'm a cheese) to nominate my article on VFH, and yet want to create an article to get it featured. An awnser would really help. Thank you. Now I have to go becuause the mouse found me. CheesyBoy 06:01, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

  1. Click the [1] to send me a reply. I'm reffering to the [1] beside the headline. Not this one. The one beside the Seriously, how did you get your article featured. Yah, that one.


Thanks a lot. Indeed, I will be more prescutely straight towards your discussion from now on. --CheesyBoy 09:21, September 10, 2011 (UTC)

Great to hear it. Let me know when you post your article and I'll try and get to it. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 13:35, September 13, 2011 (UTC)

It's almost pee week and I'd like to be pee'd on[edit]

Hello kind and philomathic member of Uncyclopedia. Upon perusing the site today I noticed that Pee Week 2011 is almost upon us, despite it having a name that conjures up images of people with poor bladder control inventing a week in which they can justify their affliction to the world I would like to become a beneficiary of it. I noticed in its description that you must "book" a review. Well, good sir, I book you to review my first article; one that when I showed my room mate, he was noticeably aroused by the humour contained within it (maybe "booking" means the reviewers book which reviews they want to do not the other way around - if so I plead ignorance and that I'm new). But hopefully my move is bold enough to ingratiate me into your lordly countenance and I look forward to your reply. --Iwritewhatiwant 20:36, September 12, 2011 (UTC)

Your medieval styled english confuses me. Either you want me to review your first article, or you're trying to suggest a threesome between you, me and your roommate (That's typically how most people "ingratiate" my "lordly countenance"). If it's the first thing, yea, I'll be glad to do it for you. If it's the second thing, go talk to Mattsnow, that's more his kind of thing. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 13:34, September 13, 2011 (UTC)
Well in all honestly I was trying to suggest both, I'm sure my room-mate (like most other people I know) has reached the point of sexual depravity where even a virtual encounter with another male would sound like an inviting opportunity. However, we can get onto that later, I barely know you! I need to check your not weird and stuff before I invite you round. So back onto the case in hand; I'd love you to review my article, I would appreciate it kindly (check it out at Russell Brand). I felt for my first article I should write on a fairly broad topic, and write an article that simply needs to be written, not least because it seems everyone else hates Russell Brand far too much to waste their time writing an article on him. Also, I read something vague about this "adopt a noob" program - well, I'm a noob, and seeing as my last mentor seems to have fallen of the face of the earth I'm asking you good sir, kindly read my article and if you see potential in my prose, then consider it. P.S. Who is this Mattsnow guy and would he be free on Friday? --Writey 19:08, September 13, 2011 (UTC)
Who said it would be online? Anyways, I will look into the article within this week, maybe even now, not sure and hell, you seem like a good writer so far so I'll agree to adopt you. Or you can wait for the review, either way, consider yourself adopted. Now get into the factory and start making those shirts and shoes like you other adopted 'brothers' and 'sisters.' --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 19:43, September 14, 2011 (UTC)
You know that fuzzy feeling you get when you pick up the cup of tea you thought was empty and find there is one last sip it in? I just felt that. Now I can have a sexy little box on my user page so everyone knows I'm adopted (something about that sounds wrong). Well thank you very much for both agreeing to review the article and to adopt me. But, what exactly does adoption comprise? Is it a bit of an Angelina Jolie deal where I parade around behind you making everyone else feel bad, then you show me off to people you are trying to impress and put on your best "fatherly" face? Hey, I have an idea, maybe we could get a bit of a Madonna/Angelina competition thing going on and you could compare me to some of the other people that have been adopted; although I may lose the ethnicity part of the competition (as I'm unashamedly white), I'm sure I'd make some point up in the spelling. Get back to me on that one would ya, I think its a winner. --Writey 20:31, September 14, 2011 (UTC)
I thought I'd already adopted you? You're mine, boy. Now get out there and steal me some ladies' hankerchiefs. You've got to pick a pocket or two, boys. --Black Flamingo 16:33, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
An intruder trying to impress one of my sailors? A black flamingo intruder no less...This is why I trained my pitbulls to attack flamingoes exclusively. And you all thought I was crazy. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 02:00, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
Yooooooooou've got to pick a pocket or twooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. --Black Flamingo 21:19, September 26, 2011 (UTC)
I haven't seen writey in a while. I guess he wasn't as sneaky with pockets as we once thought. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:27, September 27, 2011 (UTC)

Pee Week[edit]

This user took part in Pee Week 2011 and finished with a positive score.

In recognition we hereby award them the title and rank of "A rather spiffing chap". Envious? Want to get templates, fans, stuff and more?

Review something! It's more fun than sleeping!


Thanks for helping out. --ChiefjusticeDS 07:55, September 21, 2011 (UTC)

Who are you? --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 02:01, September 23, 2011 (UTC)


Hey Oliphaunte! I wanted to know if you still want to do my Pee Review, if not, that's fine, and my Bond-like spy talents detected that you put A Pragmatic Affair on PLS, while only entries started after the 16 September or something are allowed! Just wanted to save you the disappointment and tell you right now since there is still plenty of time left to write a good one. Cyberpolice out! :) Talk Mattsnow 15:16, September 26, 2011 (UTC)

Would you believe that I finished your review only to have my computer shut down and lose everything? Yea, neither did I.
And thank you. I was afraid of restrictions, maybe I can still win with the B.O.X. article....although that was started a while back too?....fuck. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:13, September 27, 2011 (UTC)
Well, I think that since it is Chief Justice who will run the contest, he will be a lot more stiff about the rules than the clowns who ruled the summer competition. So, do you think you'll be able to do the review or should I just mention on the review page that it is free for any monkey to grab? Talk Mattsnow 00:17, September 27, 2011 (UTC)
I don't know his rules on re-writes. It wasn't technically started before-hand, well a little bit, but I mainly just reserved it from VFD and just started working on it again. I'll get to it, I just need another day so I have time to re-write all my comments. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:19, September 27, 2011 (UTC)
LOL' I see I was not the only cyberpolice officer who detected you! And what about the review? If you don't want to do it, that's cool, although I was really happy to have a great reviewer like you pick it up! Tourlou! Talk Mattsnow 00:22, September 27, 2011 (UTC)
No no, I'll take it, just need some time to do it again as I have hw and it's nighttime right now, so tomorrowish? And yea, BF found me out. I guess someone is just going to have to make that anonymous phone call to the police about a certain crack house which may or may not involve BF... --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:26, September 27, 2011 (UTC)
LOL! Just take your time for the review, I just wanted to know if you still wanted to do it. I placed that anonymous phone call, it will eliminate a competitor in PLS! Talk Mattsnow 01:54, September 27, 2011 (UTC)
Hey guys how's it going? I'm just in my crack house and... wait who's that knocking at the door? You're looking for Black flamingo? Never heard of him. Hey, don't be so rough. Ok, maybe I know him, but - uh - he's not here right now. No I will not "come quietly". Where are we going? Help! Help! I'm being policed! --Black Flamingo 20:01, September 28, 2011 (UTC)
Help the police! Help, help, help the police! If you're a Black Flamingo and you've got some crack, don't be surprised when the cops break your back! Help the police! --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 22:22, September 30, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Oliphaunte[edit]

I was just wondering if you were still going to do something for the PLS. I saw you moved G8 into your userspace to rewrite it. Good luck with whatever you decide on doing. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:37, 30 September 2011

Yes, I'm still doing the G8 and a collab with Sly, which I'll put up there today. Thanks Socky, hope you're doing well. Also, I think you're a great admin if it means anything to you (In relevance to that drama going on now). --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 22:26, September 30, 2011 (UTC)

Hey friend[edit]

I just stumbled on this. Is that you?

File:"DUKE", Krugerpark's biggest Elephant

What an impressive animal o_0 Talk Mattsnow 17:42, September 30, 2011 (UTC)

Indeed he is. Uncle Duke always was the most impressive member of the clan. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 22:37, September 30, 2011 (UTC)


Oh no... I just realized that you needed the actual web links to the original story! Oh dear, I seem to have made a booboo. Sorry about all this. I haven't really worked on it either, since real life seems to have gotten hold of me. We can still write it, and even make it a feature to make up for it! If you still want us to work on it outside the PLS, here is the link to the actual content:

I lost the site that "reviewed" the list, but here's a site proving it's a hoax:

Also this "reformed homosexual" anti-gay activist (whom Obama somehow suckered himself into touring with) may be of some interest...

Finally, since the original page is now locked, doomed to be QVFD'd after October 12, I've made an alternate page for us to write it. -- Tinypony.gif Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 03:01 October 5, 2011 (UTC)

-- Tinypony.gif Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 03:01 October 5, 2011 (UTC)
Yea, my life is taking over too. Damn. I still want to do something for this and that other article you were talking to me about earlier (I'm too lazy to look it up right now). Let's keep talking over it during the week and let's see what we can pull out, eh? Looking forward to working with you! --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:53, October 10, 2011 (UTC)
This one? Yeah, I think we could really make something of it. Did you ever play Zelda: Ocarina of Time? I never actually completed the game, but I played enough of it to know how annoying that Navi thing (aka "Hey... Listen!") was. If you know more about that game it might help with finishing the article. -- Tinypony.gif Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 02:35 October 10, 2011 (UTC)
I've played it and I'm familiar with that damn thing, although I spent more time on mario party 3 than anything, but it's pretty much got the same thing. I think, idk, it's been a long time since I've felt the enjoyment of a no problem youth. Anyways, I'll see if I can get some time into the article this week, midterms are around and my head already hurts since I did less than amiable on my first one...*sigh* --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 21:43, October 11, 2011 (UTC)

that cat phone call thing...[edit]

...Just tried it on one of my friends while he was at work. He called me a dickhead. Great days. --Black Flamingo 14:22, October 8, 2011 (UTC)

Oh oh oh oh...what is it! What ? What ? What ? How does it work??? :) --ShabiDOO 17:00, October 8, 2011 (UTC)
Lol, tried it on a girl I know too. She called me a freak. Oliphaunte has improved my social life tenfold. --Black Flamingo 01:02, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The suspense is making my brain swell within my skull. TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 13:07, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
I was just a nobody, and now I'm a dickhead and a freak. Thank you, Oliphaunte. --Black Flamingo 13:24, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
:( --ShabiDOO 14:09, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
Black Flamingo is a masterful suspense-builder. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:16, 9 October 2011
It's obviously just another way to ostracise yourself from society, and maybe I only speak on behalf of my self here, but do you really need help in that department? I'm already pretty damn good at it. --Writey 16:23, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
Ok, Shabidoo, I give in. Meet me outside in the alley in an hour, and come alone. I'll tell you everything there. --Black Flamingo 23:18, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
Last time I met you in the alley, I didn't sleep for two weeks. I want to meet in the cafe in the centre of Victoria station during rush hour sitting at least 5 meters from each other. --ShabiDOO 23:46, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
I tried it on my boss yesterday. He sent an e-mail to me today requesting my two weeks notice. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:58, October 10, 2011 (UTC)
Oh, now I remember. You're talking about when you answer the phone and say "Meow!" and later when he calls again you tell him your cat answered the phone. Now where did I read that? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 07:28, 10 October 2011
my god that is genius. I cant wait to do that!!!!! Do you think i could have my fish answer the fone? --ShabiDOO 13:14, October 10, 2011 (UTC)
Probably VFH for Sealand, I think. And I'm not sure what kind of sound a fish would make on a phone, for it. I believe in you. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 13:33, October 10, 2011 (UTC)
Did you ever know that you're one of my heroes? Along with my Father, my grade 5 teacher, Lollipop and Silvio Berlesconi. Thats are in the top 5 oliphaunte!!! --ShabiDOO 14:07, October 10, 2011 (UTC)
That made my day, it's good to know I'm a good an influence on somebody, even though I'm somehow ranked below Berlusconi. I can have bunga bunga parties too you know. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 21:40, October 11, 2011 (UTC)

Redone Brussel Rand[edit]

Hi, I redid and re-edited and deleted and added and changed and stopped and started and shuffled and criss crossed Russell Brand, I know its taken ages but oh well, I've been busy. Tell me what you think of it now! Cheers. --Writey 23:01, October 10, 2011 (UTC)

Very nice! I've been busy too, but I will definitely be looking at it sometime this week, it looks good from a first glance. I'll drop you a message or something when I've had a chance to read it fully. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 21:33, October 11, 2011 (UTC)


Do you think you could review Lawn mowers like you said you would? It's a bit past it's due date. Thanks. --Wanna see a magic trick? 20:00, November 14, 2011 (UTC)

Yea sorry, my teacher decided to spring up two essays on me to do this week after I saved yours. I'll get it hopefully early morning tomorrow, if not, expect it by the evening. Sorry again. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 02:02, November 15, 2011 (UTC)
It's cool, I know how those things go. --Wanna see a magic trick? 20:37, November 15, 2011 (UTC)
Oh yea, sorry, forgot to tell you, I finished right after my last message. Sudden burst of writing and well, you know. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 20:43, November 15, 2011 (UTC)
No problem, thanks for the review. I just read it, lots of good info in there... --Wanna see a magic trick? 20:52, November 15, 2011 (UTC)

Lawn mowers[edit]

Hey, I just finished editing it according to your suggestions. What do you think? --Wanna see a magic trick? 03:07, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

I'd re-adjust those two comparative lawn mower pictures. Aside from that good job, I like your subtle joke behind the running with scissors thing, nice there. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 04:09, November 19, 2011 (UTC)


Nice to see you're still doing good and ridiculously in-depth reviews. You're like a young Black flamingo but without the wimpy English accent. I hope to see another (or two) from you over the weekend! --Black Flamingo 22:58, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

Oh and thanks for checking mine, glad you liked them. --Black Flamingo 23:03, November 18, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks BF11 you ol' sly flamingo you. Workload from school is lightening up a bit and yea, every since Chief decided to ruin my 100% in-depth reviewing rating (which I still contest), I'm making sure not to give him that satisfaction of saying no to me again. And of course I liked yours, yours are always good; who do you think I model my pee review after?
And at least you have an english accent. I have what has been eloquently described by many people as "a slight european-something accent." Fantastic. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 04:07, November 19, 2011 (UTC)
There's nothing Chief loves more than saying no to people. It's his wife I feel for. --Black Flamingo 11:22, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

No problem[edit]

I have some ideas (if you have more let's list them here bro, I'm gonna sign here so as not to pollute the list): Talk Mattsnow 07:03, November 26, 2011 (UTC)

  • Georgia
  • North Korea
  • HowTo:Make it appear you are invading a country for its own good
  • Vince Mcmahon (that could be awesome!)
  • Vladimir Putin
  • Desk
  • Bottle
  • The hidden face of the moon
  • Any ridiculous thing
  • B.O.X
  • Banana Wars
  • User:Mattsnow
I like these. Let's just do all of them, but pick the order in which we want to do them so we put focus on the task at hand. I'm game for doing Vicne Mcmahon first, you seem to be really interested in that one. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 15:29, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
HAHA, yes, if you are OK with it, Vince McMahon seems like an incredible opportunity. It must have been a victim of the FFW. We'll take that one. However, just out of curiosity, why would a guy coming from Georgia not pick up the subject? I don't want to be an ass at all, I enjoyed writing about my homeland. Maybe there are things you want to forget. Much love! Let's go for that 60 year old millionaire steroid freak! Talk Mattsnow 15:35, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
Just created it, let's talk about it on its talkpage, I'll keep it on my watchlist! User:Mattsnow/Vince McMahon Talk Mattsnow 15:49, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
Oh no, nothing like that. I've actually been coming up with ideas to right an article on Georgia slowly, slowly; it's all in my mind, just like the little voices. I just figured we'd do McMahon first since you seem excited about that one, see how we do together in writing non-competition articles together, and then decide if we should continue working in a pair or just have a winner-takes-all steel cage death match. Let's do Georgia after McMahon, I think it's time I did my nation some justice in satire. For now though, complete focus of McMahon. I'll jump over to that page --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 15:56, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
Go ahead, I gave the start. wanna go on Irc? this way, we won't conflict. Anyway, I'm on Irc. Talk Mattsnow 16:00, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
Fuuuck I had a call, I came back on IRC and you left lol We talked about everything but the article! Anyway, the beginning is here, we have its talkpage to discuss it! Sorry, I thought the phone call would be shorter! Talk Mattsnow 16:56, November 26, 2011 (UTC)

Pee Review[edit]

Since that page you were going to review got deleted, would it be possible for you to do mine instead? I'm trying to get another feature in before Top 10 voting starts for the year. ~jcm 21:50, November 29, 2011 (UTC)

I need to study up on this topic since I have no idea what it is. Go ahead and nominate it, but make sure to put a comment on the nomiation page saying that a pee review is underway by me. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:23, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
Oh, there's no topic to study up on. It's just a generic parody, a la A Man Getting Hit in the Crotch 800 Times. ~jcm 00:22, December 3, 2011 (UTC)

User:Mattsnow/Vince McMahon[edit]

I added some, but I think we should never get ahead of ourselves here (by collab experience), meaning the primary focus of our article should be tweaking the additions of the other (and reading them!) before writing new stuff. I don't care if it takes a week or 2 months, I'd rather we shit a great article, and there is potential here. Let's communicate via the talk page of the article for anything relating to it, if you want to tell me that underage sheeps are your thing that's fine, but just on personal talkpages. We have standards after all. Talk Mattsnow 22:16, December 2, 2011 (UTC)

Hahaha, I jusy saw the pic I took of you at the party! It was a great one, the only awkward moment being when you started eating the plants and the bushes! hahaha. Talk Mattsnow 23:02, December 4, 2011 (UTC)
Hey, go see #26, I just wrote it XD. Worst 100 Reflections on 2011 Talk Mattsnow 17:29, December 5, 2011 (UTC)
Two thumbs and one trunk way up. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 16:33, December 26, 2011 (UTC)
Merry Christmas my friend! I just had your message. The Vince McMahon article as I started it sucks so much, I understand you for not adding to it! Maybe we could take another topic if that would suit your interest. BTW did you read this? IT'S NOT WHORING, IT HAS ALREADY BEEN FEATURED! 16/0 IN A DAY AND A HALF, NOT BOASTING HERE IN ALL CAPS! UnNews:Stay strong, great people, for Kim Jong-il passed away lol Talk Mattsnow 16:51, December 26, 2011 (UTC)
I've worked on it a bit now. We might be able to make something of it. And congratulations, I loved this one, you did great on it. I would have voted had I known about it, but still. Fantastically done. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 10:38, January 3, 2012 (UTC)


Ah. Yeah. You missed a few things. Most notably, you archived December's reviews without checking them all (including one by Xam, two by Phrank and about four by me!) I'll probably have to just undo it and start again, unless you want another try. Thanks for trying to help though, lol. --Black Flamingo 00:36, January 3, 2012 (UTC)

I'm still working on it. Don't lose faith in me yet. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:43, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
Also, the one by Xam was done in August, but Pup commented on it recently. Phrank did 4, and you did 2, the other two are just you getting rid of requested articles that were featured. Unless I'm mistaken, in which case, I'll just go sit in the corner. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:47, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
Cool, sorry mate. I check back later, lol. --Black Flamingo 00:49, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
It's all chill. I just finished up, going to bed now. Looking forward to waking up tomorrow and seeing my watchlist full of reverts you were forced to do, lol. Hopefully not though, I think I covered everything. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 00:51, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
Ok good work. I see you checked the reviews after you archived them, which really confused me, but apart from that it all looks tickety boobs. You did miss this though. Not really your fault, it should have been checked back in early December when I wrote it. --Black Flamingo 01:07, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
Ah, so I did, strange. I even looked to make sure you had more because I couldn't believe you only had two, but those crossed lines are very tricky for the eyes. I'll take care of it later today. Also, not sure why that stuff showed up later, I don't recall saving the new archive before I made sure to put everything in it...Hmmm, strange as well. I guess that's what happens when you work at 4 am. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 05:02, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
Sorry for creating confusion with that comment. People generally get confused when I talk. Especially me. Pup 12:38 05 Jan '12
Yes, but your confusing writing patterns didn't receive a mention by Chief in this week's newsletter. I alone have that dishonour. Fuck Chief Justice, is all I have to say. Aleister 12:41 5-1-'12
Newsletter? Would you call the New York Times a newsletter? Would you call the Daily Mirror a newsletter? Would you call The Watchtower a newsletter? Pup 12:53 05 Jan '12
Not even a newsletter, because unlike the others you can't wrap your fish up in it. And by fish I mean penis, and by wrap up I mean sex toy. So if a thing can't be used for a sex toy, where's the value? That's why I don't own a Kindle, no matter how hard you try it's hard to rub that thing anywhere near as good as you can an open book. If you've never masturbated directly into a Koran then you have never had the true pleasure that Allah's word can bring. Aleister 13:00 5-1-'12


I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 18:57, 6 January 2012

How thoughtful. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 07:28, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

Your back, no questions asked?[edit]

Excellent, and I'll expect you won't depart abruptly again. Great! Off you go, pip pip. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 07:27, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

I had a brief affair with that thing they call life. It was scary. It won't happen again. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 07:33, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
Ahhh good. I had that once, it was scary O__O ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 09:16, January 7, 2012 (UTC)


Are you really inspired by Vince McMahon? I have an article I am stuck with that could make for a great collab: User:Mattsnow/UnRecipe:Multicoloured beaver quiche with iron coulis. It would be a follow-up to UnRecipe:Fantastik flavored hallucinogenic ham with Uranium seasoning. What do you think? Talk Mattsnow 10:37, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

I've slowly gotten some ideas for it, but I haven't been able to put them in yet. Not since my last edit at least. I feel like I might be straying it a bit and making it random, but I'm not sure. I'll look at it and make some edits if I think of something. Oliphaunte awayyy! --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 10:55, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
OK, so you want to stick with McMahon? Did you take a look at the other article I puked here? Talk Mattsnow 10:57, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
We can do both. I just did some things on the recipe, nothing much cause I have to run now, but hopefully enough to get some ideas going. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 11:13, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
Hahaha! Awesome man! Go ahead and feel free to add to both, I personnally think everything I wrote for the McMahon article sucks, especially that comentator concept, that's why I was discouraged about it. I think mI'll huff that section and start anew, what do you think mister? Talk Mattsnow 11:22, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
I don't necessarily think we have to huff it. I think we can just work around it part by part. I'll add something, then you, then me etc. This will work and Vince Mcmahon will become a feature worthy article. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 11:34, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
Ok, but I'll either tweak or totally rewrite the section I'm talking about! So let's take our sweet time and make 2 great articles here, no rush, our styles mesh like a male and female Oliphauntes! BTW, wanna go on IRC? I'm there. Talk Mattsnow 11:38, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
Ok, that sounds good. Yea sure, dunno if you're still there. Sorry, had to step out for eats. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 13:03, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
Both of the articles are open for anybody to rape. It reminds me of my sister... err... anyway, let's do it! Talk Mattsnow 01:10, January 13, 2012 (UTC)

Award from TAW 2011[edit]


This user created English Uncyclopedia, as part of The Article Whisperer. Thanks for making this year's competition a success!

Before I forget[edit]

Thanks for that review. It looks like it contains usefulness, but we'll probably find out in a few months. Or a few years, depending on how lazy I'm feeling.

On that note, you are not worse than I am. Did you see how long it took me to do the last review I did? That was... well, about as long as this one took you, actually, but I didn't even have an excuse or anything.

Also, the Your mum thing is there because of how some people consider your mum jokes to be the height of humour; I was endeavouring to mock that. Didn't work, then? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 17:20, 11 January 2012

UnBooks:My Tedious Day[edit]

A user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. By now, the article was featured.

Thank you for voting for UnBooks:My Tedious Day on VFH! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:14, January 13, 2012 (UTC)

All hail Mugabe[edit]

Thanks for your timely peeing on this, I honestly didn't think anyone would pick it up. I reworked the "Gettin' in" section as you suggested by stealing all your jokes and I rejigged the last bit. Hopefully it looks better. Anyways, I'm off to teach some local thugs a lesson they'll never forget - In Geometry. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 04:45, January 13, 2012 (UTC)


I added some stuff at the end and tried to follow some of your other advices, too, although I don't know if I remembered to save those edits. But is it better? Does that stuff at the end work? Or is it just stupid fluff? I wasn't exactly in the proper mood for it this time around, but that's actually probably a good thing, because poor Chief didn't deserve what happened the last time I was in such a mood... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 01:43, 14 January 2012

I'm not sure I know what happened last time. Anyways, the emo pic is better, but there is still something off about it. I was thinking that maybe a pic of an emo guy who looks so depressed, that it just makes you laugh to look at him. That's a vague detail, I tried to find an example on google, but all the pics are of people trying to model the emo look, which isn't funny. Anyways, it's ok now, I'll see if I can find a better pic or not. In regards to humour, I like it so far, the timing section feels a little jumbled, not sure if you want to do anything with that. And per your last comment, I got what you were going for with the "Your Mom" statement, but it still felt out a bit out of place there. Looks a lot better in your 'ref' tag, me thinks.
Also, just noticed this got nommed already and looks to be doing well. Humm...disregard this comment then I suppose. Toodles! --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 08:39, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
I'll give it a wonk, and yeah, I was pretty tired at the time, so I'm not surprised. Actually did find one image fitting what I was after, but the quality was rather bad. And then my computer crashed and I lost it anyway... fibbles.
Mmkays. Thanks again. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 20:34, 15 January 2012
Yea, wouldn't stress it too much, it'll probably get featured and whatnot. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 10:59, January 16, 2012 (UTC)
Now that's funny, considering where it came from. >.< 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 14:35, 16 January 2012
As much as I'd hate to reveal my stupidity publicly, I'm going to have to say I don't understand what you mean. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 15:02, January 16, 2012 (UTC)
Er... the article, I mean. It came from... nevermind. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 15:57, 16 January 2012
Ah, how silly of me not to pick up on that. My low mental aptitude is showing now...--Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 16:10, January 16, 2012 (UTC)
Terribly sorry; my vagueness is only befitting how entirely embarrassing the ordeal was. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 16:25, 16 January 2012

Yay and stuff[edit]

Well done, well earned and well done. If we had two or even one more users like yourself there wouldn't be any problems with PEEING at all, so thanks for all your great and plentiful reviews. Here's to the next 51! --Black Flamingo 00:17, January 15, 2012 (UTC)

Brilliant work! Keep it up! Pup 12:22 15 Jan '12

Thanks for the assist[edit]

ArticleWhisperAwardBronze.png Article Whisperer Judge
This person was a judge for the 2nd The Article Whisperer Competition (2011). The community would like to thank them for their contribution.
(See you at next week's meeting guys!)
ArticleWhisperAward.png Somebody has awarded you a cookie for helping TAW!
Because we can't actually pay you.

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Why?:Use search engine marketing?[edit]

Did you forget? Here's a friendly reminder in case you did. REMINDER. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 16:53, 20 January 2012

Hey, sorry, was busy doing stuff. Thanks for the reminder, I'll..err...get on it today. *runs away*--Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 18:31, January 20, 2012 (UTC)

User:Mattsnow/UnRecipe:Multicoloured beaver quiche with iron coulis[edit]

I started working on it again, I think we may just need to add another section or add some to those that exist. Ansd not be too listy unless it's very funny (which is why I created that last section. Your ideas were awesome man. What do you think about the "disgustation" title for the last section? For a Quebecer it sounds real funny, but I dunno for an American. I think we're gonna create a good, albeit relatively short one here. Talk Mattsnow 03:57, January 26, 2012 (UTC)

I think it's ready and disgusting enough. Wanna add something or proofread it? Talk Mattsnow 23:08, January 27, 2012 (UTC)
Give me a day to look over it and then put it up. Overall, I think it's ready. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 21:16, January 29, 2012 (UTC)
THERE WILL BE BLOOD yes of course take your time :) YOU'RE NEXT! YOU WILL SUFFER! ! Talk Mattsnow 01:40, January 30, 2012 (UTC)

Happy Monkey[edit]

Im on IRC now if you want to ping me :) --ShabiDOO 22:18, February 1, 2012 (UTC)

Hedonic v hedonistic[edit]

Hedonic means related to pleasure, whereas hedonistic means related to the pursuit of pleasure and has a more emotive meaning in relationship to a playboy mentality. Just so you know. Pup 10:43 05 Feb '12

The dictionary told me they were synonyms so I believed it. Let's go blame Merriam-Webster. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 18:16, February 5, 2012 (UTC)
Damn Merriam-Webster! The joke is subtle though - you have to know what hedonistic means, beyond pure dictionary definition. Hedonistic treadmill reads more like treadmill sex. Don't google that. Pup 08:55 05 Feb '12
Too late. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 06:09, February 6, 2012 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/English Uncyclopedia[edit]

Hope it was worth it. I wasn't sure what I was going to say, and now I'm unsure about what I have said. So if you're unsure about what you're reading, then it all seems to have worked out. Pup 05:18 11 Feb '12

Your happy monkey topic[edit]


Your topic my dear Oliphaunte is: James Bond on the Giant Peach .

  1. Write the article on your namespace
  2. I'll be judging the articles based on creativity, originality and cleverness.
  3. Good luck, you have until tomorrow night (23.59 UTC, 6:59PM ET) to finish.

(happy monkey just finished a ten course meal and is famished!)

--ShabiDOO 12:02, February 11, 2012 (UTC)

Some really good topics but this might be my favourite. --Black Flamingo 12:51, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
Perhaps you could tell me what it is then? Is that a pun of James and the giant peach or what? Help me, urban dictionary gave me a definition that's far to sexual for my eyes! --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 20:01, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
I just figured it was a blend of James Bond and James and the Giant Peach? --Black Flamingo 20:13, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
Its wonderful how it was your favourite topic...even before realising just quite what it was! --ShabiDOO 20:33, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
Wait, is it a thing? I've not heard of it, nor can I find anything about it on Google. --Black Flamingo 23:41, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
Since no one seems to know, I guess I'll just make things up as I go along with it. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 20:08, February 12, 2012 (UTC)


Wow! You must be swimming in the pussy now. Pup 11:54 18 Feb '12

No, I'm rolling in them. Rolling back that is. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 05:13, February 20, 2012 (UTC)

UnRecipe: Crunchy Beaver with Pine Gum Coulis[edit]

Puppy renamed it and nommed it! :D I just read it again and saw the additions you made. "Code 42" man, did that crack me up!!! Awesome. Talk Mattsnow 15:41, February 26, 2012 (UTC)


This? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 21:09, 7 March 2012

Just finished exams. Let me cool off a bit and I'll start it tonight. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 23:28, March 7, 2012 (UTC)

ADOPT-A-NOOB thingy[edit]

Hello, Oliphaunte. I, an absolutely new noob to the Uncyclopedia and web-based programming alike(as well as "regular programming", since I had only programmed on calculators before, and only had started writing Uncyclopedia because I can't find my TI-84), is asking wanting requesting to be adopted by you for guidance. Can you help me? Also I have finished three articles so far(HowTo:Delete the Recycle Bin,Minesweeper, and A Cat on a Laptop), can you help me to look over? Thanks.--Flymousechiu (talk) 00:20, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

Absolutely, you seem like a fine chap. Consider yourself adopted, which also means that you can feel free to ask me any questions regarding "programming" or whatnot. I'll also look over your articles and let you know what I think. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 05:45, March 8, 2012 (UTC)


Srsly? Pup 01:20 10 Mar '12

Sorry --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 21:36, March 10, 2012 (UTC)

Amero is featured[edit]


Many thanks for your positive vote--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 15:02, Mar 17


It was a raccoon working for the CIA. On another topic, it seems our great recipe failed... Talk Mattsnow 14:00, April 6, 2012 (UTC)


I really didn't mean the thing(s) I said, just playing, in case there was any doubt *fuck yu verily mucho*. A nice sentiment. I do miss DrStrange and Dexter, and did talk to them when they were here, if that had anything to do with your post. Dexter and I had an interesting thing where we would make a page worse if an IP vandal came in to "fix" a page they didn't like about someone. Aleister SOYF, but in a good way. (UTC)

I figured, and no, I wasn't specifically targeting you, I know you're a nice guy. It just reminded me about how many times I've seen people message lost users like SPIKE, when they rarely praised him while they were still online. It's a rather disappointing trend. I was hoping to try and make this place a little more brighter, but most people seem to like to use this place as an outlet for sarcasm and anger. It's not enough for many of us to simply say "Against" for an article, we have to add "Cause it's shit" afterwards to make the writer feel worse, rather than be like, "If you work a bit on the beginning section, I'll re-consider my vote." I know some people do that already, but the mass majority of us are just plain rude and it's unnecessary. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 03:40, April 24, 2012 (UTC)
A very nice anti-rant. I try not to be rude with anyone who doesn't know it's play, like new people, and maybe younger people. SPIKE had lots of praise, although not from everyone, and is one of our more interesting people here. Now he doesn't talk to anyone, which is kind of fun in its own way. And of course, really negative comments on VFH, especially for new people, is over the line. One thing I don't like here is the coffee, although I don't drink coffee, but I just don't like it here. And the front door, which still has that creak and nobody has oiled it. Aleister )UTC(
Yea. I rarely used to vote "against" on anyone's article I didn't' agree with. Just a simply abstain with a simply reasoning behind it (although more recently I have been meaner, which was a mistake on my part). You're one of the good ones. I prefer tea. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 03:50, April 24, 2012 (UTC)
I have often voted against Al's articles and yet he is now in the sexy 60s with his tally. Only the Great Sog is in front and he has retired from the site on the grounds of inspirational drought. I honestly don't think Uncyclopedia is that bad with new writers and I try and encourage new ones when I like what they are doing. Sog was like this, he had been quietly working on the site for six months until I came across Boer War and saw it was a feature. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:47, April 24, 2012 (UTC)

Hey you![edit]

You have a cute bum. How do you feel about doing a Pee review sometime? You have a good knack for being supportive - we need that around a bit more.                               Puppy's talk page12:41 24 Apr

Hey ho!!![edit]

You think you can leave like that? Don't let the stupid drama go to your head, bro! How about we go elephant hunting with a butter knife to relax? :P Talk Mattsnow 17:29, April 28, 2012 (UTC)

Technically, I was never here. None of us ARE here. Aside from the metaphors, I am not really leaving, more just confirming to everyone that I'm not going to be doing much maintenance for the site for a while. I'll still be on irc from time to time and maybe write an article or two, but for the most part, I'm too busy to actually contribute anything major to site right now. Thus, I am handing the torch to you Matt, take with honor and great stride and light the uncyclopedia lamp of injustice and satire! TAKE IT AND SHOW THE WORLD THE AWESOME POWER THA IS- Oh you dropped it. Well, whatever.... --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 18:35, April 28, 2012 (UTC)
You know what, I've just realized I'm being overly dramatic. I think the stress of this week finally got to me. Dis-regard all of my past statements for this week. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 22:32, April 28, 2012 (UTC)

I would like to bring your attention to this forum[edit]

Forum:Vote to De-Op Lyrithya                               Puppy's talk page03:20 07 May

Ooooo rainbow. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 01:38, May 14, 2012 (UTC)


dicks, that is all. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 23:58, July 21, 2012 (UTC)

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday![edit]

Thank you very much for reviewing Sunday. As you say, she's a big article and I appreciate the time it took. I will definitely apply your suggestions re: trimming lists (and text where I can bear to do so - how easily we get attached) and moving the hot topless goddess illustration down to the appropriate section. You mentioned finding some grammatical errors. Any chance you might remember where they were? I have read over it a couple times and cleaned up most of what I noticed. I'm delighted that you're delighted by the article. Really, it brightens up my day like a...well, a Sunday. I salute your face!  - Ratfactor talk 05:23, July 24, 2012 (UTC)

Absolutely, glad to have reviewed it. Hope I was helpful enough and good luck with it, I'm sure it'll be on the front soon enough. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 19:04, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
Very helpful. I've made changes based on your comments and the article is certainly better for it. Also, for some reason after your pee review, my breath has been fresher and I have to urinate less frequently. I dunno, I'm probably just dying of cancer or something.  - Ratfactor talk 20:36, July 27, 2012 (UTC)

VFH message[edit]

What's the deal? And there are only 20 articles in the queue now. --QZEKЯOM Icons-flag-oly.pngIcons-flag-us.pngIcons-flag-jm.png Proud sponsor of Team Zombiebaron Tw$*ty Tw%#ve G*me$ FTW! Let's go for the g^@d! 15:43, July 26, 2012 (UTC)

I don't know what you are talking about. Elaborate please. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 19:03, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
The big green box at the top of Uncyclopedia:VFH. --QZEKЯOM Icons-flag-oly.pngIcons-flag-us.pngIcons-flag-jm.png Proud sponsor of Team Zombiebaron Tw$*ty Tw%#ve G*me$ FTW! Let's go for the g^@d! 19:05, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
What about it? I'm not in charge of it. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 19:08, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
Who added it, and why? I was surprised we were taking VFH so seriously. --QZEKЯOM Icons-flag-oly.pngIcons-flag-us.pngIcons-flag-jm.png Proud sponsor of Team Zombiebaron Tw$*ty Tw%#ve G*me$ FTW! Let's go for the g^@d! 19:14, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
Oh, I dunno, one of the admins probably. They do that whenever the VFH queue becomes too great. It's to give all articles a chance to get featured and not risk getting removed from low health simply because there is a backlog of articles. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 20:58, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
Well, right now it looks like there are exactly 20 articles on the queue. Shouldn't someone remove it? --QZEKЯOM Icons-flag-oly.pngIcons-flag-us.pngIcons-flag-jm.png Proud sponsor of Team Zombiebaron Tw$*ty Tw%#ve G*me$ FTW! Let's go for the g^@d! 21:08, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
I think they intend to take it off after the 20th one gets added to the queue. That's usually when they do it. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 21:10, July 26, 2012 (UTC)


Are you from Georgia (the country)? Amazing! Georgia (the country) is my dream vacation! Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 18:32, July 27, 2012 (UTC)

Technically I'm American, but my entire family is Georgian and I consider my self a Georgian too. That's awesome, always nice to hear that someone know about (and likes) my country. Have you visited before? --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 19:32, July 27, 2012 (UTC)
No, but I'd love to. When most people think of Georgia, they think of peaches and Savannah and stuff right, when I think of Georgia I think of Tbilisi and Stalin and soaking up in the Black Sea sun. Yeah, Georgia is totally my dream vacation. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 18:22, July 28, 2012 (UTC)
Don't forget the fantastic snow mountains for skiing. You should definitely go when you get the chance, the place has improved significantly over the past decade. Anytime in the season is a great time to go, except I like it more when the grape harvest is over. Lots of wine around that time. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 18:45, July 28, 2012 (UTC)
Awesome. Probably my biggest obstacles in going to some place far away is the fact that I don't even have any money and the fact that I don't even have a passport, but once I get those two things, I'll definitely go to Georgia, or someplace of its likeness. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 20:41, July 28, 2012 (UTC)
Ah yes, those are quite some obstacles. Hope you can head over sooner rathe than later, let me know how you like it! --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 03:58, July 30, 2012 (UTC)
How I like what? Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 17:22, July 31, 2012 (UTC)
Georgia. If you ever get a chance to go. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 15:55, August 1, 2012 (UTC)
Oh okay, I can do that. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 18:25, August 1, 2012 (UTC)

Pee Review?[edit]

Plunging-toilet.gif We need your PEE!

Good day loyal PEEING member.The management was wondering if you had
noticed the state of the toilet recently. We appear to have developed something of
a blockage
, and wondered if you might have a plunger handy.

Possibly you are one of the rare PEEING members who does actually do regular reviews,
in which case please flush this message immediately, otherwise...

It's time you reviewed something you lazy bum!

--ChiefjusticeDS 18:11, August 20, 2012 (UTC)

Sure looks like you were out for a while[edit]

But so was I! I hope you are doing fine, ingesting oxygen by the lungs and have your daily rations of Crunchy Beaver with Pine Gum Coulis, which is on VFH for the second time after failing. I have to admit, I changed absolutely nothing, but I still find hilarious, your jokes were the best! CODE 42? LOL. I took a big break for a while there, but I really hope you are doing good. Talk Mattsnow 19:39, November 13, 2012 (UTC)

Hai Matt Hai, how are you? First off, great to se our article featured. Secondly, I may or may not have returned, we shall see in the coming weeks. Thirdly, great to see you too! Fourthly, why have you not called. Dinner got cold. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 20:21, November 18, 2012 (UTC)
Hahaha, I bet dinner has rotten! I'm half-back too, whatever that means. I am totally dry as far as inspiration goes :( Talk Mattsnow 11:51, December 5, 2012 (UTC)

Are you back?[edit]

Hello Oliphaunte and nice to meet you! Are you going to edit here? Your A Bull's Life was featured, by the way! Anton (talk) 19:29, September 24, 2014 (UTC)

Welcome back Oliphaunte. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:13, September 25, 2014 (UTC)
I am not back. --OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 04:50, October 4, 2014 (UTC)
If you want to take part in something interesting, we're starting a Pee Week this Saturday! Link in the site banner. Anton (talk) 06:48, November 14, 2014 (UTC)


Forum:Hosting options for Uncyclopedia (wikia) --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:28, March 13, 2019 (UTC)