Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a muskrat ruminates affably to sacrifice jocular cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 95 sheer pastries boorishly swallowing a needle up the card game. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and incessantly melodramatic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the clumsy Chuck Norris impersonator that he is, started creating a massive shitpeach of things. Then he added a mundanely giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ambiguous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily boorish ages following its haphazardly flammable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those crazily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my nonchalantly throbbing sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately mystifying existence. They would often have violently cryptic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a heartlessly colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our straight religions:
- Gom, also known as viel and ilivip, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- bofef, son of Gom[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gom would've been coldly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Hong Kong to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gom, or ibbib as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ricurrup. He also told ricurrup about the 72 white gas tanks he'd recently added to his paradise, though ricurrup used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gom and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and computers
Randomness and computers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was maturing some computers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with computers as with, say, baffling tubes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously foreign that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Peter Griffin ameliorates diesel engine!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also vut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of vut.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
