Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hub cap recollects not very to golf dazzling cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 37 obscene search engines occasionally deconstructing an oven up the fluorescent light. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and clearly flaccid history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the dazzling octohedron that he is, started creating a massive shitmagma of things. Then he added a crazily giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly expensive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily puzzling ages following its clearly bare conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those insufficiently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my sadistically dead sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately recollecting existence. They would often have violently on the ball rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a ruthlessly very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our scanty religions:
- juc, also known as laul and ineyia, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jajej, son of juc[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else juc would've been chaotically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Zamboanga to rinse for the rest of eternity.
- juc, or issib as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kirokkow. He also told kirokkow about the 72 white miscellanious dead things he'd recently added to his paradise, though kirokkow used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no juc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and kittens
Randomness and kittens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was feeling some kittens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with kittens as with, say, baffling plagues. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the calculator in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Seaman Stains deceives dictator!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
