From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
There are currently 37,243 souls in our warehouse. |
|
|
|
|
Today's featured satanist
|
|
n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:
Dear Reader,
Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall
from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more.
However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the
Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows: (continued...)
Recently buried: Todd Lyons - Hindleyite - Suresh - Mhaille - DeathByPie - Hardwick Fundlebuggy
|
Did you kill...
|
- ...Elvis?
- ...JFK?
- ...Jesus?
- ...some Zombies?
- ...Oscar Wilde?
- ...Chuck Norris?
|
|
In the pit
|
|
|
On this day...
|
|
May 23: Stoat Molesting Night
- 818 - The Force is disturbed for the first time.
- 1783 - Due to a lack of women, American pioneers settle for stoats.
- 1828 - Soap factory accident creates marshmallows.
- 1829 - Marshmallow factory accident creates tupperware.
- 1834 - The Force puts a DO NOT DISTURB sign on her door.
- 1913 - Igor Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring is first performed in Paris. It is a huge success and nobody riots, not even a little. He then releases Rite of Spring: The Next Generation and The Rite of Spring III: Hello Kitty's Zombie Awakening on Ice to underwhelming acclaim.
- 1976 - Syracuse, New York begins the annual Punch an Old Person Festival. It results in 128,693 fatalities.
- 1985 - The Force is disturbed by its obnoxious roommate at 3 a.m. The Force becomes pissed.
- 2000 - B.O. level in Otakon reaches intolerable levels, government issues airstrikes.
- 2001 - TimeWarner merges with Canadian Canned WormsTM.
- 2002 - Canadian Canned WormsTM TimeWarner buys Microsoft.
- 2006 - Ask Hal 9000 created.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Satanist and Imp of the Month
|
|
Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*.
Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree
|
|
The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we
Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.
|
Vote for Satanist of the Month | Vote for Imp of the Month | Vote for Occultist of the Month | Past Winners: 0/1
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains
37,243 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many
languages:
Protected by the Devil himself, and an elite clan of Demons.
