Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 17

August 17: A Dingo Ate My Baby Day (Australia).

Michael Jackson celebrates Dingo Ate My Baby Day

• 5000 BCE - The first dingo arrives in Australia. Says dingo: "Man, I'm hungry. Could sure go for something chewy and defenseless."
• 3020 BCE - Dingoes successfully mate with wallabies. The dallawingoby young, a wingodollajoeyhopper, is found to be delicious when barbecued, insuring quick extinction.
• 1776 - Thomas Jefferson releases happiness at 11 AM.
• 1777 - Thomas Jefferson releases packs of dingoes into the Virginia wilderness. These same dingoes are later credited for the elimination of the Roanoke settlement.
• 1918 - Bolshevik revolutionary leader Moisei Uritsky is assassinated. Dingoes are suspected.
• 1980 - "Ah Dingo Ate Moy Baybee!" The woman is fined A$500 for maligning dingoes and will be sentenced to being the butt of a Seinfeld joke.
• 1984 - Happiness is prohibited by the ISoPT.
• 1986 - A pack of rabid dingoes invade and devour the city of Sydney.
• 1988 - Pakistani President Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq and US Ambassador Arnold Raphel are killed in a plane crash. And then eaten by dingoes.
• 1988 - The legendary Alex Cross is born in Redhill, Surrey, UK. He then roundhouse-kicks a dingo in the face when it tries to eat him.
• 1997 - Rabid packs of dingoes win parliamentary seats in Australian run-off elections.
• 2004 - Alex Cross beats Chuck Norris in a fight, but Chuck Norris, with his last ounce of strength, roundhouse-kicks himself back in time to avoid being in a fight with someone far superior. Dingoes watch and learn.
• 2006 - President George W. Bush is confused on why an Oz farmer would name his dog "Dingo". Puppetmaster Cheney tries to explain, but then gets fed up and shoots a friend in the face.
• 2009 - Mount Everest a splode.