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Today's Featured Article - Super Mario Odyssey

Super Mario Odyssey.jpg

Super Mario Odd-yssey is a 2017 video game developed by Nintendo for play on the Nintendo Switch. In the game, Mario must rescue Princess Peach from forced marriage to Bowser in a winding adventure. When Mario's hat gets shredded, the game demonstrates what many of us know: that a replacement is never as good as your old favorite hat, since Mario's new hat is downright creepy.

In Luigi's Mansion, Luigi must purge the ghosts with a vacuum, because spirits are bad news. In Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, Mario sees the evil Shadow Queen take spirit possession of Princess Peach and nearly destroy the world, because spirit possession is worse news. In this game, when a sentient hat-ghost named CreepyCappy appears, Mario welcomes him with open arms.

The cap can possess enemies — plus cacti, zippers, trees, rocks, poles, and...meat? — in order to steal their powers. The enemy wears Mario's standard hat and mustache, and Mario takes a joy-ride in whatever enemy's body he likes. (more...)

Recently featured: Ladybird Books - Potato - M*A*S*H v Cheers

Previously Featured Article - Ladybird Books

Ladybirds mating.jpg

Ladybird Books is part of the Penguin group, most famous as publishers of Lady Chatterley's Lover. Ladybird, however, specialise in producing books for Primary School ages and generations of pupils have used the books to learn to read and to learn how to sureptiously add strategic phalluses to illustrations without being observed by their teachers. The children's edition of Lady Chatterley's Lover is simultaneously the Ladybird book least purchased by school libraries and the edition that librarians report is most likely to have illustrations ripped out by borrowers. (more...)

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In the news:

On this day...

We honor the US and UK boots on our backs

April 18: Dependence Day (Canada), International Throw a Baby in the Canal Day

  • 4105 BCE - In order to save him from the pharaoh's execution order, Moses's mother takes her son to Disneyland and drops him into the waters of the Splash Mountain log flume ride. His hair turns completely white. Pharaoh's soldiers pass him by as they think he is a tiny Indian yogi in a loincloth with a mystical 1000-yard stare.
  • 1309 - This day also became National Rythym Day.
  • 1310 - The first anniversary of National Rythym Day is henceforth paired with the World Miss Speling Contest.
  • 1485 - A conductor accidentally gives his orchestra jazz band music. Hilarity ensues.
  • 1524 - The world's first Spanish restaurant is founded by Hernán Cortéz in Tenochtitlan.
  • 1948 - The League of Nations is dissolved and replaced by a simpler, easier-to-organize style tournament-format competition called the UN. Surprisingly, the Swedish are champions of the inaugural competition.
  • 1958 - The Supreme Court of the United States bans poetry and evicts all known poets from the country.
  • 1972 - First public toilet opens in Texas. Texans ignore this, and continue urinating in public.
  • 1983 - A suicide plumber floods the United States embassy in Beirut, Lebanon.
  • 1955 - Albert Einstein dies being struck by lightning while playing golf in North Carolina. God cannot be blamed as He was playing dice at the time.
  • 1990 - United States Re-Endangerment Day is the first U.S. national holiday created in honor of rednecks and their contributions to American culture.
  • 2002 - The internet is officially declared "useless and beyond redemption" by the Norwegian military.
  • 2006 - Captain Obvious says you're reading this.

Today's featured picture

Pontius pilot.JPG

The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

Image credit: Savethemooses

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