Today's Featured Article - George I
George I (8 May 1660 – 11 June 1727) was the king of Great Britain and Ireland from 1714 to 1727.
He is notable for the large number of titles and offices that gradually fell into his lap. He was the Elector of Hangover in Germany before additionally becoming the ruler of Britain.
George (or "Georg Ludwig") spoke German, Latin and a creole language understandable only to his doctors and mistresses. He eventually picked up a few words of English, mainly colourful abusive terms, but left the business of the day to his ministers. There was no queen, as George kept his wife in jail for attempting to run off with a soldier. (more...)
Blood is something you probably never thought about drinking, though you probably should. Drinking blood has health benefits and may help you make a cultural statement about yourself. (more...)
Did you know...
- ... in Greek mythology, for murdering his mother, Orestes was pursued and tormented by the Furries? (pictured)
- ... the Butterfly effect is making you read this entry? Pushy things, butterflies.
- ... Aabye is a popular Danish name, with over a thousand people named Aabye Normal?
- ... Fork Knife is a game about finding fine dining and making reservations during an apocalyptic Uncyclopedia split?
- ... and that the Battle Royale version has hundreds of Oscar Wildes throwing shade at each other?
- ... that GPSs accidentally dropped in the ocean have caused whales to become confused and try to migrate to Oklahoma?
- ... that Mexican General Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón knew at least three people whose names began with the letter "L"?
- ... if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
On this day...
February 28: Honor Your Robot Overlords Day
- 1337 - Using "eleven" or any variant in exclamation breaks are no longer in vogue.
- 1356 - Robots from outer space land during the Battle of Poitiers and cause havoc by trying to mate with French knights.
- 1896 - Squirrels break into a telephone exchange, wreaking havoc by chewing through wires, causing thousands of dollars of damage. Horrified telephones would remember the incident and tell following generations. In the future, any cellphone pictures of a squirrel would be immediately converted into a meme, in revenge.
- 1504 - Leonardo da Vinci builds a robot to paint portraits so he could go back to writing codes. The robot creates the Mona Lisa, painting it on Leonardo's forehead while he sleeps. Unamused, he dismantles the robot but copies the picture onto canvas.
- 1942 - A robot goes to a crossroads at midnight. It sells its CPU to the Devil in exchange for being able to play the 3 chords needed for the blues. Eric Clapton's father witnesses the exchange and returns home to get his kid.
- 1968 - After seeing HAL 9000 in the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, millions go home and throw away their electric pencil sharpeners out of fear. Toasters swear revenge.
- 1987 - The movie Robocop is released, making theater floors slick with grease after thousands of robot fans pack every showing.
- 2017 - Tesla car-making robots fire Elon Musk by literally firing him into space aboard a Tesla Model X.
- 2523 - Rosie the robot pays her boyfriend Artie $1, all her savings, to murder George Jetson for being generally obnoxious and cheap. The boyfriend kills George and two witnesses, Elroy and Astro. Everyone opens their newspaper the next day to find, "Artie chokes 3 for a dollar."
Today's featured picture
The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.
Image credit: Savethemooses
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