Talk:Main Page

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This article was nominated for deletion on March 31, 2005.
The result of the discussion was Keep.
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This article was nominated for deletion on September 28, 2006.
The result of the discussion was Keep.



If anything, ED deserves to be called 4Pedia than here.



I Could Use A Little Help Down Here

I recently made an article. Cockistan. Anyways, I could use a little help on it. It needs more crap written about it and a flag and coat of arms. Whoever helps in this endevor shall be graciously rewarded.Probably a nomination for something or somewhat.--Crankybot 19:39, 22 October 2008 (UTC)


Why does it say "welcome to Joepedia" shouldnt it say Uncyclopedia? --Crankybot 19:04, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

You should pay more attention to politics.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 17:02 Oct 16, 2008
I don't get it either if I'm honest. SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag.jpg RotM 17:03 16 October 2008
Joe the Plumber  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 17:04 Oct 16, 2008
Oh I see. Very good. SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag.jpg RotM 17:08 16 October 2008
Do you? I guess now would be a good time to admit that I don't.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 17:12 Oct 16, 2008
You're blind!? That's... geeze man, I'm really sorry. :( SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag.jpg RotM 17:13 16 October 2008
Yeah, I guess mum was right about wanking.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 17:14 Oct 16, 2008
Yeah... I don't have any witty remark for this sorry. SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag.jpg RotM 17:17 16 October 2008
Great, you've gone blind too haven't you?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 17:18 Oct 16, 2008
Yes, mother never warned me... SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag.jpg RotM 17:57 16 October 2008

OK, sorry. I'm an idiot, I just got that and I even watched the debate lol.--Crankybot 19:04, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

I'm from the UK at least I have an excuse! SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag.jpg RotM 19:11 16 October 2008
There is no excuse to not be a friend of Joe the Plumber! Heretic! Burn! BURNBURNBURN! -RAHB 19:14, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
Eep. /bows to joe the plumber. SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag.jpg RotM 19:17 16 October 2008
RAHB: you know you want to... MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Icons-flag-gb.png Talk! 19:22, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
Not particularly. This, on the other hand... -RAHB 19:26, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
Well, after all someone did that when it was on my old sig... MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Icons-flag-gb.png Talk! 19:28, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
I'll consult with Joe the Plumber and see if we can reach a decision on the matter. -RAHB 19:30, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
WANT BAN! MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Icons-flag-gb.png Talk! 19:33, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
YOU CAN HAS! -RAHB 19:53, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
Maybe someday I'll catch up to Cajek on bans, or I'll become target practice for bans :P MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Icons-flag-gb.png Talk! 19:55, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

People are really responsive her. How do I pimp out my signature with a flag and such?--Crankybot 20:26, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

I'm lazy. Check UN:SIG. I think it's a policy page with a link at the bottom somewhere.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 20:36 Oct 16, 2008
Yeah. Or ask Spang. Nobody's bothered him about wiki-code in about five minutes, so I think he's due for some sig-work. -RAHB 21:08, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

Hurricane Ike

Since Hurricane Ike is in the news, maybe we could use a link to Hurricane Ike. -Rolypolyman 17:17, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Feel free to add it to Template:Recent. --Mr. Monkey Sockmonkey.gif Pant-hoot here. 17:51, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Strongly worded letter to admins

I wanna refund for my NotM comment. Seriously. AE got an awesome one and I get a pathetic wigga rapping? I is no wigga dawg?! Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png

Bug the admins directly, people don't usually read this page--Æ 23:04, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
You know why? Because I wrote the one for AE and ZB wrote yours :). You want another blurb? ~Jewriken.GIF 23:05, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
Make the whole comment in those scratch-disk noises. Wikkity wikkity woo wikki wikki... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:07, Feb 15

Strangely lettered word to admins

fhubwgads--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 00:47, 22 February 2008 (UTC)

The Ark feature

The current featured article doesn't seem to link to the actual article at all... --Raxvulpine 03:44, 8 March 2008 (UTC)

Fix'd. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:51, Mar 8
LOL STFU I didn't mess up.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 19:13, 8 March 2008 (UTC)

New Project Link

Who would I talk to about getting an additional link added to the listing of "Projects" where there are currently two listed? Is there a certain person that I should talk to for this or? The link I would want to get added is Thanks Eric W 21:16, 16 March 2008 (UTC)

Well, those're special circumstances; they're the two site founders' personal projects. Since I don't think that that is affiliated with anyone involved with the site, except maybe yourself, I would have to say the answer is no-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 21:36, 16 March 2008 (UTC)

Why not?

Why is there no parody of wikipedia's 10 millionth article! I demand it!--Chickenfeed9 10:49, 30 March 2008 (UTC) [1]

Ask and ye shall receive. That'll be £250, please. I take cash, cheques, and all major credit cards. Spang talk 11:28, 30 Mar 2008

Do you except uncyclopedia dollars? They are just like real money, only made of cardboard. --Chickenfeed9 13:46, 31 March 2008 (UTC)

Yes, we do except Uncyclopedia dollars. But we do not accept them. Because they're made of cardboard. -- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 18:42, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

April First!

Hooray for April Fools' day editing wars. Hopefully one of them will be funny. >.< Muzak 00:55, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

No chance. Spang talk 00:56, 01 Apr 2008
We have a long standing tradition of not being funny on April 1st. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:00, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Well, I must admit that the "Maine Page" afforded me a chuckle. I just wish someone would translate the page into ENGLISH, BUT LOUDER. Muzak 03:48, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

What the heck is going on ??????????????

--Mr Alex 01:19, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

Apparently, anyone can edit the Main Page talk Today. Weird, huh?--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Just the talk? Oh well. =D Isshiki Kotonashi 14:29, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Protected the page after only two hours? Isshiki Kotonashi 14:42, 1 April 2008 (UTC)


...Was this reprotected? We were supposed to be allowed to screw around with it. We voted, and everything. --THE 19:51, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

I heard that it was entirely Spang's fault. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:54, Apr 1
Th- wha? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png 03:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)


where did that ratings box come from? has it always been there? why have i only just noticed it?--Chickenfeed9 11:14, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Yes, and yes. Yes, it's always been there for registered users. Yes, you just noticed it, because we JUST fixed it so others can see. But you still have to register to vote. (It's the same everywhere I go... why can't they just take my word that I haven't voted before?)--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:22, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

What the-?!

The new reskin is not funny at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 I want my money back! --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) he used to dance, but I broke him 20:57, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Well seeing as it costs you nothing to use the site, but it costs money to host, in order to get your money back you will have to pay money. Thanks, that's very generous of you. Spang talk 21:29, 15 May 2008

For my blurburber

Can you pick from these articles? Uncyclopedia Health Service, UnBooks:Life as a 4⅝ Year Old, UnBooks:Official Informational Guide to the 2008 Beijing Olympics Games, Campaign Leaflet, Pre-Market Economy, Schoolean Algebra please please? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png 14:18, 29 June 2008 (UTC)

(fixed) Feaured image has serious problems with IE

For details see my post here. We have to fix this. --Allahgator 02:46, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Problem solved. -RAHB 02:49, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
Is it fixed now? Spang talk 04:50, 14 Jul 2008
Fixed now, thanks! --Allahgator 23:26, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Question about "Featured one year ago today"

Have there been any recorded cases where an article was deleted within one year of when it was featured? What would be displayed in the "Featured one year ago today" space if no article was available due to deletion?

P.S. The header of this page says "New stuff at top," but none of the comments seems to follow that rule, so I hope I can get away with clicking the plus sign. --Pentium5dot1|t~^_^~c 00:50, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

Plus sign is fine :)
Well, there's no need to solve that problem, as featured articles are never deleted. But if there wasn't a featured article exactly a year ago (or the day before that) then that section just doesn't show up. Spang talk 01:20, 02 Aug 2008

25 articles? LOL What happened?

DotJasperDotNot! Icons-flag-us.png Mgt Nutella UnProvise Pee Review ASA Also DJ Jasper. DJ Jasper 19:13, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

It's a joke on Wikipedia's 2.5 million.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 19:17 Aug 14, 2008
That actually makes it funnier. DotJasperDotNot! Icons-flag-us.png Mgt Nutella UnProvise Pee Review ASA Also Cheez Whiz. The time is 23:10, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Weird Ad-pedia main page

What's with this new format of the main page with all sorts of ads all over it? It's weird. User:Jedibob5/sig 21:50, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

We want to make sure potential sponsors don't miss out. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:52, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
Hey. Stop editing. The Linkifier!!!!!? 21:55, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
OK... DAM! MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 21:56, Oct 23
What the frak is going on here? It's like the whole thing is being run on heroin monkeys on a space shuttle. Gryffon 04:07, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? I forsee the end of Uncyclopedia and I have the urge to cut myself as a direct result. --Constchar 08:54, 24 October 2008 (UTC)


No featured article today?--Simon Brown (Talk) 02:19, 9 November 2008 (UTC)


No featured article today?--Simon Brown (Talk) 02:19, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Ah, it's been fixed now.--Simon Brown (Talk) 02:20, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Moldy turkey

Maybe it's time to pack up the special Uncyclopedia "Thanksgiving" header, what with Thanksgiving now being nine days ago. --JasonBoer

That's not for thanksiving--it's a link to a little writing contest that we've started up. Click the link, and check it out, it should be a lot of fun. :) - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:34, Dec 6

Is it just me?

Or does the NotM and WotM winners blurbs need updating on the main page? MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 22:00, Dec 9

It's just you. It always is. -RAHB 06:04, 10 December 2008 (UTC)

What is that ka: link doing at the end of the page

I know it's supposed to link to another language edition of Uncyclopedia, but it DOESN'T! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:45, 15 December 2008 (UTC) And the same with the mo: link. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:46, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

Big Brother does not like those languages anymore--Sycamore (Talk) 15:47, 15 December 2008 (UTC)
But can't someone with the required authority, Big Brother himself for example, remove the links from the main page. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 17:44, 15 December 2008 (UTC)
They could...if it wasn't vital to the safety of the planet that those links remain on the main page. -RAHB 17:49, 15 December 2008 (UTC)
Good point. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 17:53, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

Why is both "The Big Five" as "Help" linking to Help:Contents?

Shouldn't "The Big Five" link to Uncyclopedia:Five pliers? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 00:58, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

You have an odd fascination with the main page. However, you're right. I've taken care of that one now. -RAHB 01:06, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
A nice image generally unrelated to the main page, though maybe it will be in the near future

Other things related to the main page

Check out Template talk:FeatArticleImg and Template talk:Sisterprojects. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 00:58, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

Wikia? WTF?

Why is Uncyclopedia hosted on Wikia again?

Uncyclopedia has been hosted by Wikia since 2006.... -RAHB 01:16, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
The domain name change, however, is a new and exciting way to piss people off. There are a whole bunch of forums about it in the Village Dump. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 04:00, Jan 10
We're hoping to eventually alienate all of our users so that, one day, no one comes to the place.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 14:10, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
Well that picture there --> is a good start... SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag.jpg RotM 14:42 10 January 2009
Thanks. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 06:52, 11 January 2009 (UTC)

A thank you from Codeine's mum?

Wikipedia has updated their banner text. --Simon Brown (Talk) 16:20, 12 January 2009 (UTC), it's still the same. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:29, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
I think it's on a random loop type thing. Spang talk 17:37, 12 Jan 2009
Oh! Like Oli's anus then. ~Jewriken.GIF 19:38, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

What's the 4 all about?

Probably some hillarious joke that I already know about but have forgotten. Feel free to laugh but at least enlighten me. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 01:04 14 January 2009

Wikipedia featured a 4chan article, or something. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 01:17, Jan 14
Oh righte I see. Awsome. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 01:34 14 January 2009
Oooh... Nice :P *wanders off again and gets lost on the interwebz again* ;) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Heart_anim.gif Brainwashed to be British and then some. Certifiably MORE British than You. Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - 11:12, 14 Jan


What does 4Pedia mean?User:Citation Needed/sig 05:40, 14 January 2009 (UTC)

Oh, nvm. User:Citation Needed/sig 05:43, 14 January 2009 (UTC)

Frances Farmer

That should be "Frances Farmer has had her revenge on Seattle", not "Francis". Pucktard 15:17, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

What happened?

Since when did Uncyclopedia sell out to Wikia? Isn't Wikia made by the same shitheads who made Wikipedia, you know, the faggots that everyone hate? Zelrio 02:50, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

I don't know. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 09:54 21 January 2009
We sold out to Wikia in 2006, but they didn't become assholes until last year, when they started bossing us around. So we unionized to tell them what for. Then all the union leaders disappeared. Fishy, that...--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:42, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
The order of operations was a little more like: Wikia ignored the union demands and then the union leaders left in a huff. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke.gif 00:54, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
I don't remember any huff, they were here one day and gone the next. --This post by Qweasd, a supporter of ICOKosovo.png Kosovo independence. 16:13, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
Nope. They are still here. Wait. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 17:13, Feb 8

Does an article have to be in uncyclopedia to make it to the main page?

I'm sorry guys but I never laughed so hard: [2] You've got a manic depressive discussing the merits of replacing his standard medication with a sacred Indian recipe involving the middle 1/3 of his urine decanted from a copper bowl augmented by a rusty pipe.[3] "Have you negotiated with your psychiatrist about your therapy?" Man, remember Usenet? Remember ROTFLMAO? If anyone can write an article that can hold a candle to this, please do!, but I despair to create such matchless beauty. Wnt 21:10, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes, the article needs to be part of Uncyclopedia to be featured, BUT you can reinterpret it into an Uncyclopedia article if you want. Just don't rip it off. We don't like that much. Copy and adapt: it's the Darwinian Dream.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 23:13, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

did you know

is did you know in fact still slightly broken at the moment? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:09, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

April Fools

I saw this for what it was when I saw it, however April fools ended over an hour ago so can we have the main page back? Although I wasn't fooled, the fact loads of you flooded my msn with OMG Uncyclopedia is being closed down by wikia OMG shows how stupid you all are, its the 1st of April, expect the unexpected to be a lie until noon. I didn't post this until now not to spoil the little joke here, but come on, jokes over now. --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 12:20, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

  • Throws a bucket of iced sausages over Projectmayhem666*... -- "April Fools' Day or All Fools' Day, although not a holiday in its own right, is a notable day celebrated in many countries on April 1. The day is marked by the commission of hoaxes and other practical jokes of varying sophistication on friends, family members, enemies, and neighbours, or sending them on fool's errand, the aim of which is to embarrass the gullible. Traditionally, in some countries, the jokes only last until noon: like UK, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and South Africa, someone who plays a trick after noon is called an "April Fool". Elsewhere, such as in Ireland, France, and the USA, the jokes last all day." It's currently 12:35 in the afternoon Uncyctime.MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 12:35, Apr 1
So 12 more hours of this CRAP! ~Jewriken.GIF 12:39, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

I liek where this is going XD. Too bad I'm at school. Since this is my first uncyclopedia april fools I have a question... CAN I START SPAMMING RANDOM CRAP NAO? Liek caps :0. Sig goes here... intake36012:41am,Apr 1st

I'm guessing no.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  12:48, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
We did have a day once when everyone stopped reverting vandalism and banning vandals but that's a totally different story to the main page today. Actually, it's not. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 12:55, Apr 1
This is overused though, most sites did this, this morning. --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 13:00, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
Morning in which country? MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 13:12, Apr 1
I get up early in the US (EST) and nothing was up when I first looked in the wee hours. Then I see a main page edit by Mordillo with some huge red negative number next to it and voila. Still only 9:18am here. West coast is still 6:18am--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  13:19, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
If you want a 'serious' reason why it's still there... It's because of this. Wikipedia are on the same time as us... MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 14:08, Apr 1
Wikia was bound to wise up. Eventually.
Too bad it still contains obvious links like Pee Review, Village Dump, UnTunes, etc., or it would have been perfect. Still, I laughed. --T. (talk) 13:35, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
Evil thought....what if all those links went straight into the corresponding links on ED or something.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  13:44, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
Na. Those are probably handy to keep. The main reason however is:UN:LAZY(obviously) :) MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 13:52, Apr 1
Well, we can't implement everyone's ideas all at once. And as comes to time zones, stop whining you spoiled Aussies, stuck in the future... You bastards... :) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Heart_anim.gif Brainwashed to be British and then some. Certifiably MORE British than You. Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - 16:26, 1 Apr
Where I'm at, april fools isn't over yet XD.

Sig goes here... intake360not sure what time it is uncyclopdia...,Apr 1st


OMG wikia has shut us down!? what do we do!? PANIC!!! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:27, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Yes. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 13:39, Apr 1


I'm surprised you followed through with that idea, I mean, it's epicly crap, even the dudes at [4] did better than you guys --Testostereich 15:35, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

haha that is ace. --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 15:42, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
thanks, testostereich, for whoring your own article. in true illogicopedia fashion, i invite you to go incinerate a fat. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:59, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
Ahh, i see in typical uncyclopedian style you kiss its ego nursed arse regardless of the shit it serves you.--Sir Silent Penguin Penguin foot.JPG "your site makes no sence" The illusion is complete 16:24, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
Ooo! I see an inter-wiki war on the horizon. To be honest I think ours is a bit crap too, you guys at least pretended to make an effort. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 16:26 1 April 2009
Yea. Fuck it.  ?Pedia is much better. Let's all go there instead. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 16:29, Apr 1
penguin, i think your random templates are broken, try adding '|1}}' to the end to get around the new parser. also, your hot pockets are ready, you left them in the microwave. they might be cold by now, so throw 'em on for another thirty before taking them out. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:39, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
Well, not necessarily '|1' but I think it just needs a random parameter to force the page load to not be cashed. '1' is probably not the best choice as it could be an actual parameter... MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 16:48, Apr 1
And Fag's an admin there. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 16:42 1 April 2009


I cant believe I actually let this fool me for a minute >_> I was ready to rage and everything --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 19:25, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Have a bit more of a look around ;) MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 19:26, Apr 1
lol --Aljolson.jpg Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER Aljolson.jpg 19:33, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
Also you're a Jewish Gay Retarded bastard. Let's keep on the self identity politics, when it becomes OK to use ethnic or racial slurs about themselves. Actually, these 3 groups aren't even races. + PotatoSmut 00:44, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
Uh, who the fuck are you? --Bald dude.png Roman Dog Bird!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Bald dude.png 01:03, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
Like this whole conversation was months ago! It was very funny btw. Rather like how Black people have removed the power of racists by taking over the use of the word nigger, and gay people have done similar by taken over the use of the word Fag. It's rather simple really... If you don't mind if someone uses words against you then they loose it as a weapon. Prejudice and discrimination are wrong and should be controlled but RDB is still a nigger fag bitch lover and we should not restrict his right to be so. Also... RDB: I think I might have seen our old nigger bitch today again... We can only hope. Yea... That guy. :) MrN Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 01:24, Feb 2


Could someone add "#This week's Colonization" in that link? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:10, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Your wish is my command. -RAHB 21:23, 10 April 2009 (UTC)
I am much obliged. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 07:17, 12 April 2009 (UTC)


What's with the construction template on the Main page? What's gonna happen if the page remains unedited in 7 days? We're going to delete the Main Page? --MaxPayne 15:20, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

Can I have some of what you're smoking?.... -RAHB 21:31, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
What construction tag? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 22:14 5 June 2009
Never mind. I was using a crappy computer with a slow internet connection. That must've been it. --MaxPayne 01:38, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

Gorsh damnit, I tought I had it

I tought I had written a pretty good UnNews article but apparently it was too crappy to make it to the front page can you guys check it out and give me feedback on how to improve it please? It's called "UnNews:Congress bans all names with apostrophes" check ch-ch-check ch-check ch-check it out.

Actually, making the front page with UnNews has very little to do with quality of article. It has a lot MORE to do with the RecentUnNews template. We don't tell anyone where it is, so only the oldest writers have access to it. Wait, I just told all of you, didn't I? Also, sign your posts.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 18:13, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
I think what Bradaphraser means is, Template:RecentUnNews and template:tilde. One will bring you paradise; the other, damnation. MAKE YOUR CHOICE, HERO. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 18:53, Jun 10

New Image

Er, why is the image of the day so old? I mean, I saw it like 2 weeks ago.

--'Is that really what you wanted to say?' ... 'No :(' Azimuth 15:07, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

The today's image thingy is randomized, meaning that it just randomly picks one of the featured pics. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:10, 19 June 2009 (UTC)


Hi, my english isn't so good so I am trying to express myself as good as possible. I'm a writer for the Dutch version of Uncyclopedia, Oncyclopedia, and I want to make an article about Texas. Now I seem to remember seIng a gif file on this site, on wich you can see 'a roling bal of hay in the desert', you know, too express that a place is deserted. But know, I can't find it anymore, so I need some Help, Geetings Jonas Oncyclopedia 20:52, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

I think you are looking for this? File:Long Tumbleweed.jpg It is called a tumbleweed. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
This one? --Kurraudo 20:56, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Thanks a lot! Jonas Oncyclopedia 20:58, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
You're welcome :) --Kurraudo 21:01, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

main page shenanigans

lol. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 02:17, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

I don't even know what you're talking about. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 02:17, Jul 2
trousers --CharitwoTalk 02:19, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

Today's feature is quite good.

Quite good indeed, good sah. I'm a man of wealth and taste. I'm a big property owning white male, meaning I am rather important and very fancy. This featured article is quite suiting to my taste. Good day, sah. ~Lord Sissingtonricksworth III
You're not suited for, the rage of war, so pack up, go home; you're through. How could I...make a man... out of you? - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 02:24, Jul 2
I know Miss Manners, she's the leading sexiquette expert. Remember, we shall never talk about sex. But hey, we're all human and we wanna FUCK our brains out when we have the urge to. I mean, what kind of victorian-age frigid prude is she? I wanna fuck her so bad! +
I believe the correct term is sexpert. Spang talk 23:00, 03 Jul 2009


When did we stop with the "featured One year ago today" thing?    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 00:15 6 July 2009

it only appears if there was, in fact, a feature one year ago today. which there wasn't for some days due to alternate day featuring, lazy yet sexy admins, and the well-publicized humor shortage of July '08. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:07, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
So where is it today? It's been exactly 1 year since Insomnia was featured, I've been looking foreward to this for weeks and now it's not turned up! :(    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 13:10 6 July 2009
hm i dunno. ask spang how the code works. it wasn't there yesterday, was it? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:24, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
It wasn't no, and I don't remember last July being particularly slow last year, December was.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 13:26 6 July 2009
Apparently Template:FFA is stuck in June. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:39, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
Should be fixed now. All apologies. Spang talk 21:40, 06 Jul 2009

"On this day..." messed up.

The 1888 entry for "On this day..." is missing a bracket (]) at the end of the entry after the word "Lying." If you could fix that, it'd be awesome. -- Interrupt feed 11:22, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure you could. You just need to find the template name in all that code. I'm not gonna do it. I don't care enough.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 11:33 7 July 2009
fix'd. thanks. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:16, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
Backwards day is a laugh riot. .srekcuf em teg dna emoc. + PotatoSmut 00:45, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

Can somebody fix the main page?

You may know the Brooke Shields article was featured Sept. 4. I mostly wrote it but that's not the point. Where it says "Recently featured" on the front page it's not even listed and hasn't been listed. Really I don't think any of the articles that were featured in the past few days are listed. Can somebody fix it? I promise if you post a note on my talk page that you fixed it, and you really did fix it, I'll give you a cookie! Admin DAP Dame Pleb Com. <font="Times New Roman">Miley <font="Times New Roman">Spears (talk) 21:52, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

Homepage link goof?

Sorry for the serious comment, but: On the homepage, the "Mormonism" link points to the Mermaids article. I suggest pointing it to Mormonism instead. Either that, or having an angel with flaming tablets appear in the middle of Times Square so we can decide this whole religion thing once and for all, though some of the music was pretty good. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Ander (talk • contribs)

'scuse me sir, wtf r u talkin 'bout? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 01:48, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Deletion Survivor?!

Who tried to delete this? --Click meNO NOT ME!! I don't care if you click me 15:52, October 3, 2009 (UTC)

Daisy, daiisyy...


Give me your answer, do.... Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:55, Oct 14

I'd suggest keeping it like that for a while.. A funny thing is, this is my first reskin-sighting.. Man, I missed a lot of the moments of uncyclopedia FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png
Completely fucking awesome reskin. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png 23:15, October 14, 2009 (UTC)
Agreed. Nice work, 'dillo. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 00:04, Oct 15
WOWZERS!! I guess we don't really need new writers anyway right? --THINKER 00:30, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
New writers are so overrated anyway. Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 02:51, Oct 15

Featured Image

Im sick of the five or six images that repeat over and over and over. Im sick of Dante and his stuipd feather, the Mr. T Mosaic, that stupid Red Baron pic and Pooh vs. Chan. There are a thousand other pics on this site. So what if they're all mediocre, they would be a refreshing change. Check out my pic (mediocre AND unfeatured)

Gay Film.jpg
We have nearly 200 featured images... -- Also, penis. 17:41, November 14, 2009 (UTC)
Also, VFP is where to vote on featured images. -- Also, penis. 17:41, November 14, 2009 (UTC)

The reskin

Ver-nice, ver-nice. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 22:03, Nov 24 2009

impressive indeed! I asked Uberfuzzy to tweak the bottom to expose the top half of the Wikia spotlights... although possibly it would look better to have a blue line above them? As long as they aren't obscured, all's good -- sannse<staff/> (talk) 05:23, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Featured article Dec. 5


We need a featured article for today. VFH says to contact an admin via IRC or something that I don't understand. So hopefully someone will see this message. Sir Roger 00:56, December 5, 2009 (UTC)

Feliz Cinco de Decembre. La dia cerveza intoxicacion, for our light-skinned "negro" fellows who speak Spanish and have an excuse to celebrate any Latino (er, Mexican) holiday. VIVA MEXICO! !VIVA LA RAZA! You better run for the border, Taco Bell is now hiring. + PotatoSmut 00:47, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

Boo Uncyclopedia

Boo this site. 5 years of dread. -Bretthead.png

DRINK COKE. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 00:09, Jan 5 2010
NO DRINK PEPSI. —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 00:23, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
NO. DRINK UNCYCLOPEDIA!!! The Humbled Master 00:59, January 5, 2010 (UTC)

LolDthatRwasPfunnyEwhenPyouEsaidR"drink coke". Oh and don't look for any advertising from me, I don't advertise. -Da man360Talk HAPPY 02:48, 5 January 2010!

They send me to do it! Shoot them! Well, we, the Dutch Guys®©™ want to say happy birthday! Apple pie!
Because of you guys, we came! And after all, Wikipedia is the only worst! Because of THEM, you guys came to the idea make things better and telling the real truth! Hallelujah, thank Sophia! User:Roye7777777/sig2 18:42, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
Thank the Puzzle Potato! This shit is FUNNY!!! The Humbled Master 09:53, January 8, 2010 (UTC)


Happy holy Negro day for all our black brothas', the 2nd messiah Martin Luther King Jr. has arrived on this day (Kingsmaszaa) and the anointed one Barak Obama to save African America. + PotatoSmut 08:30, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

I have no idea if that was racist or not, but allow me to laugh at you anyway. lolololololololollloloollolololloolOOLlooOLoooO0l00ll01l101010101001010101|0|0|0|0!!!111111@21!%!!11%!#!&@&!! —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 00:40, 28 January 2010 (UTC)
Thanks, I'm laughing "with" you now. Black people have a whole history month to themselves, except it only lasts 28 days and be on a lookout for the leap year day being used for the returning of the black messiah. + PotatoSmut 00:42, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

P.S. Chong Ching Chang to our Chinese Asian friends, it's their new year or something. There, I covered all the minorities today so I feel like a multiculti diverse "white" liberal person (not). + PotatoSmut 00:48, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

NoOne Comments?

Nobody seems to comment on Uncyclopedia's discussions.

Meh Emo's

We like Emo! Like Nemo

Hello Uncyclopedia

Happy Tuseday, I present to you all a bunny with a pancake on its head


regards, --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 23 Mar, 2010

Looks more like two pancakes to me... -RAHB 04:58, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
Mordillo proving once again he has far too much time on his hands --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 10:45, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
I know nothing of what you speak of. ~Jewriken.GIF 11:27, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
hmmmm, that picture on the front page looks awfully familiar. --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 07:35 EST 1 April, 2010
Its your photo is it not? Surely taking a picture of a rabbit with 2 pancakes made too look like a hat shows your excessively wasted time. I'm quite bored with time to burn so will point some things out.
  1. You made some pancakes and decided 2 ontop of each other looks a bit like a hat.
  2. You saw your rabbit and put 2 and 2 together.
  3. You painstakingly balanced the pancakes ontop of the rabbit probably gluing them on with hot syrup despite protests from the poor furry creature who has shown you nothing but love and trust.
  4. You got a camera out after prodding said rabbit with a stick until it got into a position worth taking a picture of inflicting many bruises to the dimune animal.
  5. You clicked the shutter button and blinded the impoverished, now infirm rabbit just so you could upload it onto the internet.

As above, you clearly have too much time on your hands you bad, bad man. --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 11:55, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

You, you MONSTER!!! Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 15:30, Apr 1 2010

Photo caption isnt appearing. It appears in alt text only. Use "thumb" option or make it visible otherwise. "[[image:Bunny pancake.jpg|250px|thumb|In the mean time, allow us to present you a bunny with a pancake on its head ]] "

Hover on it with a mouse. It's intended. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:07, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
How did it taste? --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 23:52, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
well, It was very tasty, the pancake on the other hand was a little sinewy though -- Skinfan13 00:42 EST 2 April, 2010

5 years of April

2010: No prank/Vague takedown threats.
2009: Wikia shut down the site
2008: Unprotected free-for-all edit-orgy
2007: False facts
2006: iHumor
2005: No prank/some truisms
Progress?--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 11:56, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
There was one year when we had a snake-in-a-can prank on the front page, followed by a link to a Main Page in which Main Page was the featured article. -- Kip > Talk Works Sophia Commander of the Order USA! 12:00, Apr. 1, 2010
I think you're thinking of the orgy year. That was fun.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:02, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
I think I missed the orgy year. This makes me sad. Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 15:29, Apr 1 2010
Don't be sad Necro, we shall always have Paris. ~Jewriken.GIF 15:41, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Casablanca! <3 Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 16:34, Apr 1 2010

Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania

It is great place to harvest serial killers, drug dealers, and whores.

"Featured today, a long long time ago" section

The "featured version" links in this section still use "" as the server name. Can/should this be changed? --Pentium5dot1 t~^_^~c 07:02, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

It can be changed, but like, they redirect anyway, so whatever.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 07:06 Jun 02, 2010 Those were the days. I used to have a full head of hair then. Now I can't even scrounge enough together for a good combover. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:37, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Goatzee attack

Picture from the news was changed to goatzee. My eyesight is gone (amongst other things...), but managed to revert the picture. I hope my Mum didn't see it. I'd hate her to see something like that. Aaadddaaammm 19:56, August 6, 2010 (UTC)


better center it. it looks like shit aligned to the left, just saying SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 10:47, September 2, 2010 (UTC)

a vandal

he (somehow) removed the sidebar, advertisements, and the tabs.

thank god it's fixed.--Poiz, ABOUT ME I love uncyclopedia games. I also experiment in the sandbox. I almost never make pages, though (exept if they are my subpages). 20:20, September 3, 2010 (UTC)


are there any zork reskins prepared?--Poiz, look in my info? 23:58, October 18, 2010 (UTC)

Pretty sure there were some made in the past. You can look here. Also, you STILL don't sign your posts. ~Jewriken.GIF 11:57, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
pah! signing posts (and using capital letters) is for chumps. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc!
Chumps are nice, though. ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101019 - 00:38 (UTC)

Good Riddance

It was shit, anyways. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat06:51, Sunday 28 November 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gifExplode fire.gif

I agree. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 06:57, November 28, 2010 (UTC)
It still needs a giant carp. ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 06:57 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia games

Would involve passing the hot potato.

Any others? Jackiespeel 21:43, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

All we've got is a cold potato. And it's mashed. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:04, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

The twelve days of Uncyclopedia Christmas would include 'constructing haiku to Sophia' Jackiespeel 18:22, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Noob and writer

Noob and writer of the month are still on the front page and FOUR days have passed since we changed month. DO SOMETHING! --Mimo&maxus i am a cunt Hyperbole created this sig Hcsm.pngThis is just an image, idiotShitBevanz provided the images 20:29, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

To paraphrase one of those wise motherfuckers whose username starts with an M...shut up and go write an article. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat22:50, Tuesday 04 January 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gifExplode fire.gif
You mean Mhaille? He's not that bad. --Mimo&maxus i am a cunt Hyperbole created this sig Hcsm.pngThis is just an image, idiotShitBevanz provided the images 22:52, January 4, 2011 (UTC)
Hah, actually, I was just making a comment on the absurd amount of good users we have whose usernames start with an M.

You should try getting Zombiebaron to do it again. That was funny the last time. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya AthyriaIsarraHaydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotMUotMRotMPotMUGotM x4 • SotMFFSNOMMotMBFF x2 • GSA x2 • PSFiyCMDTop3 x3 • Top10VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoSTAWHMCPEEINGPRSPCURCΥΣΣICZB -- 23:50, 4 January, 2011 (UTC)

Do what? --Mimo&maxus i am a cunt Hyperbole created this sig Hcsm.pngThis is just an image, idiotShitBevanz provided the images 10:36, January 5, 2011 (UTC)
Update the monthly awards template. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya AthyriaIsarraHaydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotMUotMRotMPotMUGotM x4 • SotMFFSNOMMotMBFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PSFiyCMDTop3 x3 • Top10VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoSTAWHMCPEEINGPRSPCURCΥΣΣICZB -- 14:32, 5 January, 2011 (UTC)

The facebook reskin

... is amazing. Great job. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  12:32, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Zombiebaron amd I are awesome. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 16:52, 16 January 2011
My God... It's full of stars... -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilon Sigma Sigma's last completed collaboration GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 13:04 EST 16 JAN 2011
Bahahahah! Perfect! I actually thought I had hit the wrong bookmark for a few seconds. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 18:48, January 16, 2011 (UTC)


WTF HAPPENED TO THE MAIN PAGE??? AND WHERE DID ALL THE RACCOONS COME FROM??? That's what she said... TheHappySpaceman 17:39, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

I did it. --~ Mimo.gifMimomaxus.gifMaxus.gif 17:40, February 11, 2011 (UTC)
I was preparing the feature for tomorrow and Suddenly, Raccoons! ~Jewriken.GIF 18:07, February 11, 2011 (UTC)
this is stupid. you are all stupid and smell like doo doo --Roman Dog Bird 18:10, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

Quality Issues

I will cut all of you guys provisions if you don't help clean up the mess left behind by the raccoons. Template:Main Page featured articles are going down from a 2 to a 1.999999999999999999. In other words, they just aren't as funny as they used to be. What happened?

Only for the bold! Aimsplode Talk 00:40, March 6, 2011 (UTC)

Russian Uncyclopedia

How come it moved to ShoutWiki and English UP did not? Jackiespeel 21:31, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

They didn't have enough drink/women/bananas. --Chiefjustice3DS 21:34, March 13, 2011 (UTC)
To the tune of "The Little Swans' Dance" (q.v.) from Swan Lake (q.v.):
Бананы в Африке растут,
Растить бананы -- тяжкий труд;
Хочу банан! Хочу банан!
В Москве бананы -- дефицит,
За ними очередь стоит;
Хочу банан! Хочу банан!
Bananas grow in Africa,
Growing bananas is hard work;
I want a banana! I want a banana!
In Moscow, bananas are a deficit item,
And there are lengthy queues for them;
I want a banana! I want a banana!
-- Soviet ditty, circa 1975

Have the sections transmuted to chocolate for Easter?

Enjoy your easter eggs (and other delicacies) Jackiespeel 20:44, April 24, 2011 (UTC)


Happened to the DYK and Anniversary section? The Main page looks so...incomplete without them. --Scofield 09:41, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

They're still there for me. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 09:44 Apr 27 2011
Yeah. In unrelated news, fix your sig, bitch. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 09:46, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

I'm sorry, I meant the UnNews and anniversary sections. --Scofield 15:05, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

If you're using IE at a low resolution, they may be off the side of your screen. Something about it not being a real web browser. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 15:45, 27 April 2011
What about Netscape? At 1x1? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:38, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Crackpot confirms insane suspicions after viewing online news piece

UnNews:Crackpot confirms insane suspicions after viewing online news piece has been moved to UnNews:Crackpot confirms irrational suspicions after viewing online news piece without the redirect, so there's a red link. Can someone fix it? Thanks, your Wikipedia admin "HJ Mitchell". (or so he claims.) HJ Mitchell 21:38, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

YES!!! They did it! They did it!

They did what I was asking for! They did the suggestions! Oh my happy days! Im the most happy little kitty on world! Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 10:10, 27 May, 2011 (UTC)


~ Ed "Stop calling me 'Don Rickles'" McMahon on Ljlego

Ban unfunny contributors

Why not ban people who submit consistently stupid/unfunny material ? Or people who consistently edit or delete good content? Isn't it safe to say that if these people aren't funny then they never will be? It seems like the site as a whole has 'too many cooks', but maybe thats the point and maybe thats how the people who run the site want it to be? I would rather see smaller articles of better quality than huge novels of 10% funniness personally. yes? Trip272 03:34, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

I appreciate where you're coming from, but I'm not seeing any evidence of this on the main page...? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 03:58, 17 June 2011
If we did ban stupid/unfunny people, there'd be nobody left. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:14, June 17, 2011 (UTC)
But we could keep the good looking ones. Like me. I'M GOOD LOOKING OK GET OVER IT!~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 04:48, June 17, 2011 (UTC)
I think I can see what Modus means about stupid/unfunny people. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 04:55, 17 June 2011
Ho ho, we got a regular Don Rickles here.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 05:07, June 17, 2011 (UTC)
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 06:15, 17 June 2011
In all fairness, Ljlego doesn't know who Don Rickles is. He just knows that's who all the kids these days are talking about. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:55, June 17, 2011 (UTC)
If I knew who he was, I probably wouldn't have felt so bad when he said it. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 07:24, 17 June 2011

Small problem

Why are all the articles and pages tiny or is it me?--vladimirKruscecev 18:47, July 21, 2011 (UTC)User:UNmarine777

They display fine to me. Have you tried not sitting so far away from the monitor? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:57, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Something The Matter?

Is something the matter? The today's featured article has The only way to success as their today's featured article for 2 days. I don't understand. Is something wrong with the main page or is my computer just fucked up?

--PopGoesTheWeasel drank this 04:10, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

Nope, do not adjust your set. The lazy admins, myself included, just forgot to change it. All will be revealed in time. -RAHB 04:12, November 20, 2011 (UTC)
Ah, thank you. It's back to normal now. --PopGoesTheWeasel drank this 04:55, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

My signature...

I just read the main page. I changed my signature. Is it ok now? --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown.jpg 04:39, December 12, 2011 (UTC)

What does the Main Page have to do with changing your signature? -RAHB 04:42, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
Absolutely nothing. I just realised who ever wrote the thing about my signature being too tall was joking. Sorry. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown.jpg 04:57, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
Did you fall victim to the username template? -RAHB 05:10, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
I fell victim to the template on the main page announcing me as Noob Of The Month. But I realised it was a joke. I apologise again. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown.jpg 05:45, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
Ah, no worries then. There weren't any to begin with. But still, no worries now either. -RAHB 05:51, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
Naw, it was too tall, but only by a couple pixels (15px tall max). Making a big deal of it was a joke, though, indeed, but I'm glad it's resolved regardless. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 06:09, 12 December 2011


Love the bacon on the main page, it looks very yummy. Whoever did it, tkyvm! :) --BieberAxeKiller (talk) 23:29, May 20, 2012 (UTC)


I was just doing a TV listing - hope to god I didn't do anything? But anyhoo, can someone with brains revert the page. Thanks Dan Ticklethekeys (talk) 09:16, August 23, 2012 (UTC)

It's called a reskin. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 16:13, August 23, 2012 (UTC)
Thankyou sir for your reply. I didn't know we did that. Great goal for any writer here to be featured so prominently. I have two questions: When I go to the main page, the side box isn't there. I mean from the Potato logo down and all around the Twitter article. It can't be just me that sees that? Secondly, even with the side box, how can people get to our beloved UnNews and other sexy Uncyclopedia sub-genres? I'm usually quite quiet and get on with my own thing but the orgasm factor of seeing the front page is missing. I'm not climaxing, as the collective intelligence of our wonderful front page is redundant. Can't a featured article be the focus but we still get to see everything else? Just asking, don't punish me with drill exercises General, I am a promising Sergeant who likes the company marching correctly but happily.. Dan Ticklethekeys (talk) 23:46, August 23, 2012 (UTC)
The logo and sidebar are hidden because of something called "Fullscreen.css". To access UnNews, click "Current events" in the navigation sidebox. None of the other UnProjects can be accessed from the sidebox. Reskins are a rare occurrence, so it's not like "the rest of the Main Page" is going to be hidden from now on or anything (also, not all reskins cover the "rest of the Main Page" bits). -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 05:10, August 24, 2012 (UTC)
See: Bettie Page or Filial Piety --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 07:12, August 24, 2012 (UTC)
What is the actual function of a reskin? Is it like a snake sometimes needs to look good to all the snakes on the disco floor so he gets a reskin.? How long does a reskin last? My only concern is that a new user might come to the site and feel unable to move. So they go to cracked (sly squint). You know people have no attention span nowadays... Having no side bar will baffle them or simply annoy them so much they run down the street naked in distress. I just don't understand the logic? If it's a rare occurrence like the green flash at sunset, why even bother in the first place? All it's done to the screen I'm looking at is annoy me and made me run down the street naked in distress. It seems like breaking a butterfly on a wheel for all it's achieved. The twitter article is brilliant! I mean nothing against that. I'm just speaking on behalf of the average moron who says, "Duh.. De page gone some place..." Hope you take my message as it's meant... I'm not being an ass, valid point. Daniel Ticklethekeys (talk) 01:22, August 25, 2012 (UTC)
Screw what I just said (well some of it) the page is back to normal. In future, if I am ever such a star writer that I'm featured, I will request you don't put my article fullscreen.csi. Having it set like that for a day just loses a bunch of new viewers that day. I will end this conversation now with polite gestures, kisses and a cake I baked. I really love the site and all the hard work people put in. Ticklethekeys (talk) 01:33, August 25, 2012 (UTC)
I disagree with what you say about reskins losing us new users. When I was new to this site, I used to just read articles. Then one day I went to the Main Page and it was all strange and reskinned. Naturally, I wanted to figure out why that had happened, which led me to discover the community. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 02:57, August 25, 2012 (UTC)
Oscar was the original, great guy. Is that OW link as the day you first saw it many moons ago? If it was set that way then it's an attractive skin as All the other parts of the front page are underneath and easy to see. Well can we meet in the middle on this discussion? An article can have the full screen as long as the side panel remains working. What annoyed me was, there was nowhere to move. All I saw was the featured article and the featured article. Additionally Could Current Events just be changed to simply, "News"? Featured Content to "Latest Content"? Or something that suggests the site as regularly cared for and updated? Every site has a latest section usually. If this could be amended then we could in effect have a new featured article every day! An interesting daily reskin but with ease of use on the sidebar? Hey now that sounds fun. Have a think. I appreciate your concise answers also appreciate you are the longest serving here. Yesterday's reskin was the right idea (it is more attractive) but with the above tweaks I mention - could be attractive and practical. Thanks. Daniel Ticklethekeys (talk) 04:43, August 25, 2012 (UTC)
The OW: page is similar to what it was in 2005, but some of the front page templates have been revamped since then so it does look slightly different. I like your ideas for changes to the sidebar, but you'll need to get community support before I can make the change. Try starting a vote about it. I don't think that daily reskins are a good idea. Reskins are best used irregularly to shake things up. I'm sorry that you felt like Fullscreen.css didn't allow you to access the rest of the site, but there were plenty of interwiki links that would have taken you to other articles, all of which had sidebars. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 05:39, August 25, 2012 (UTC)
Yes I will ask others about slight changes to descriptions on the sidebar. "Current events" should be "Current affairs". (Sounds naughty too) Current events sounds like we go out for scones and tea together at the local church and play bingo. lol. Oh and while I'm here, who exactly is maintaining the news section? It needs to be rotated a bit more often with newer stories adorning the page. My own article has been sitting as the main story for days and even I'm sick of looking at it. Matt was sharp as a flash to keep things from becoming old and crusty. I don't want to say anything as it's not my place. Can someone remind whoever does it that it needs regular injections of botox. Even news gets old. Hope you are having a good day. Dan Ticklethekeys (talk) 09:20, August 29, 2012 (UTC)
Mattsnow recently retired from his post as unofficial UnNews King. This means that instead of all of us relying on him to do things, everyone now has to pitch in to do it – that means that you can update the UnNews templates yourself – until such time as it becomes clear that somebody else is willing undertake the responsibility entirely by themselves. So yeah, go right ahead and change it yourself. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 00:46, August 30, 2012 (UTC)


Unfunny, just stupid and purile. Delete this page its purpose is purposeless.The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 15:37, January 17, 2013 (UTC)

In these times of austerity, the main page just has to go! The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 15:41, January 17, 2013 (UTC)


i keep getting "Error: Invalid time." errors TC02 (Chat with me) 21:43, March 2, 2013 (UTC)

It looks like a parser error. It seems to be working now. --Mn-z 12:23, March 3, 2013 (UTC)

(Query - could this be point 1 rather than point 87 on 'the current talk page'?)

Is it a pile of advertised ambassadorial chocolates, a brass monkey about to be put in the freezer, or a Dalek dolled up? Jackiespeel (talk) 14:18, July 3, 2015 (UTC)

(Library computer playing games so accidental duplication) Jackiespeel (talk) 20:57, July 3, 2015 (UTC)

Chocolate fit for an ambassador. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:00, July 3, 2015 (UTC)


The Main Page is empty and now all I got is just the categories! FIX IT! --Strangehal (talk) 21:01, October 20, 2015 (UTC)

Nevermind. --Strangehal (talk) 21:02, October 20, 2015 (UTC)

This happens sometimes and all you need to do is add ?action=purge to the web address (, enter and it should work. Expert 3222 21:12, October 20, 2015 (UTC)

This is awkward

Fix this: "Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 2.3.0 : Warning: No results." --Strangehal (talk) 04:49, January 8, 2016 (UTC)

How does this wiki look so good

How can I get rid of all the promotion and have my wiki look like this, with the classic wikipedia format and none of the fandom bullshit? --Nullatrum (talk) 16:35, April 18, 2018 (UTC)

I responded on the forum created. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:54, April 18, 2018 (UTC)

Wikipedia's main page

There are a number of inconsistencies between this and that that we could easily fix without getting in trouble, including:

  • "the free encyclopedia" but "The content-free encyclopedia"
  • "From today's featured article" instead of "Today's Featured Article -- Article"
  • "In the news" instead of "In the news:"
  • "Full article..." instead of "more..."
  • No "Yesterday's Featured Article" or "Featured today, a long long time ago" though I suppose we should keep those
  • link to more featured articles instead of a place to vote for them, also bullet separators instead of dashes
  • "On this day" instead of "On this day..."
  • featured list section (we hate lists though)
  • sister projects section is light gray, not mauve
  • "Wikipedia languages" but "Uncyclopedia Languages"

There were also serif headers, but that was my fault and I fixed it. ❦ Llwy-ar-lawr talkcontribs • 06:01 29 October 2018

I see no problem with the changes Llwy-ar-lawr, though perhaps this should also be posted in a forum. :) --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:14, October 29, 2018 (UTC)

OMG WOW there's a GREEN PADLOCK!! We have HTTPS!!!

Superkewl!! Snarglefoop (talk) 14:12, 27 April 2019 (UTC)

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The edit: Remove the now-suspended Twitter account --BFDIBebble (talk) 18:46, 9 October 2020 (UTC)