To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.
The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.
"Wugga, wugga and welcome back the Perfumed Garden Psychedelic Special hastily assembled because Dave Lee Travis appears to have fallen overboard and been harpooned by whalers. In the finest traditions of Pirate Radio I'm wearing an eye-patch and cutlass and you may be able to hear my parrot Syd squawking in the background. But tonight's show is brought to you live from my living room at Peel Towers due to car trouble stopping me getting to the ferry out to good old Radio Caroline. Let's hope the rozzers don't nick me! I say car trouble; I mean of course that the inside smells so badly of fish that it's impossible to spend more than a minute inside without gagging - a bit like attending a Peter, Paul and Mary gig. Actually, I'm fairly certain that Tony Blackburn has nailed a mackerel somewhere under the dashboard but that's not going to stop me playing the rather excellent "Arnold Layne" by The Pink Floyd.…
MIDDLE AMERICA AND/OR CANADA -- Retail monopoly and threat to America, Wal-Mart, has told ultra-lame band Green Day that it will not stock its newest CD, 21st Century Breakdown.
Wal-Mart spokesperson Fred Habbemaster told UnNews today that, "in light of the fact that some of the lyrics are salty, but mostly because Green Day has gone from dreadful to unbelievably lame, we feel it is unconscionable to foist such crap on the American public. I mean, we have a conscience, you know?"
If John Lennon was the Walrus, then why is this Paulrus part of the Beatles exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science and History?
|One of Miles' favourite things: Coltrane playing saxophone
Miles Davis was a jazz musician. He played trumpet. People say he's black, but that's because they're part of the predominantly white establishment who wanted to pigeonhole him into one category. Miles doesn't like categories, and he said himself: "I'm all races at once, baby. That's what fusion was all about, don't you know?" Throughout his long career, Miles also redefined jazz humour, by being the most humourless jazz personality to ever have existed. In effect, Miles taught his proteges that it was fine to ignore the audience while playing, not to announce tunes, and even turn your back to them (to be fair, a lot of audiences turned their backs to Miles when he started playing syrupy pop-jazz in the eighties). You might want to classify Miles' humour as "black comedy".…
So, after I broke up with Jenna, I was thinking, you know, just because we're broken up, that doesn't mean we shouldn't share our deepest feelings with each other, right? Chicks love that emotional shit.
So I wrote her this song about, you know, how much I miss her and how she makes me feel. I bet she'll be calling me any minute asking me to take her back.
Well I'm still hurting so I'd be happy if you were hurting too.
Is it so much to ask that someone you love
be in constant unrelenting pain?
And I hope you stay up nights thinkin' of me
or maybe just lose your keys
So I'm waiting by the phone for you to call
and tell me, girl, that you misplaced your keys.…