Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 1

March 1: National Day of the Grue

• 390,000,000 BC - A meteor carrying a portion of the dispersed Gruesømellæ germ culture crashes on Earth, killing Chuck Norris.
• 64,000,000 BC - Gruesømellithicus roams the plains, waiting for unsuspecting tourists.
• 32 CE - Jesus gets eaten by a metaphysical grue. He is then raised by his heavenly Father, only to be killed by trichinosis.
• 1349 - Jack the Ripper's antique collection of Mongolian grues is featured in Forbes Magazine. This, according to Tony Blair, 'does not compute', although he said that about most things.
• 1644 - A toymaker builds a wooden grue puppet which comes alive and wishes it was a real live grue. Being made of wood would not stop it from eating the toymaker, a cricket and a blue fairy.
• 1632 - Gruel is invented by the grues of London to morph English orphans into grues after long periods of eating it. This plot might have worked, since after 1692, all British orphans disappear.
• 1984 - Plåygrue releases its first copy; the said copy is later eaten by a grue.
• 1985 - Landmark decision in Some v. Pestilence: court rules a person eaten by a grue cannot be held legally responsible for death or injury related to ingestion.
• 1997 - Scientists develop grue-proof armor, and promptly get eaten by Eurgs.
• 1999 - Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a grue onstage, is promptly ignored as just another geek sideshow act.
• 2005 - Wales defeat the grues 11-9 in a massive Six Nations Rugby upset. Unfortunately, the Welsh side are shortly after eaten by said grues.
• 2006 - 'You are likely to be eaten by a grue' fever sweeps the nation as grues sweep the nation.
• AD 2101 - War begins as cats battle the grues for control of the earth. The legendary build-a-grue workshop opens during this time period.