Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 14

May 14: Sky's the Limit Day, Fat Guys in Spandex Festival San Francisco, California USA.

• 468 BCE - Sky colour declared blue by Greek philosophers.
• 49 BCE - Sky declared grey by the Roman Republic in order to provoke the Greeks into a fight.
• 1953 - Sky Masterson, a character from the musical Guys and Dolls, is played by Marlon Brando.
• 1973 - Skylab, the United States' first space station, is launched. It will take a dozen Druids to keep it in orbit.
• 1979 - Skylight, the glass thing in my goddamned roof, is greatly expanded by Skylab's wonderful return to Earth. Dammit.
• 1981 - Demise of the International Dark-Sky Association.
• 2005 - Skynet is founded by Marlon Brando, utilizing power module and microchips from a crashed Skylab, and broken glass from some guy's skylight.
• 2006 - Marlon Brando dies in a skydiving accident.
• 2007 - Bill Gates hits puberty.
• 2009 - Prime Minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd, declares free money for all.
• 2010 - Puberty sues Bill Gates for 'unbelievable infliction of emotional distress and disgusting zits'; asks $500 billion.
• 2012 - Marlon Brando's remains explode, with debris landing as far away as Johannesburg, South Africa.
• 2014 - The Moon sues Bill Gates because doing nothing but orbiting the earth constantly for billions of years is well and truly boring. It seeks all money on Earth or a PC to play on while orbiting.
• 2525 - I lost my keys again :(
• 2990 - Lost keys are located in Howard Beach at the social club of an Italian "Gentleman of Honor" who prefers to remain anonymous.