Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 6

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Trump drinks something.jpg

September 6: Let's Enjoy a Glass of Blue Lemonade Day

  • 394 CE - The Christian Roman Emperor Theodosius I defeats and kills the pagan usurper Eugenius at the Battle of the Frigidaire for drinking all of his sanctified Blue Lemonade.
  • 1939 - South Africa declares war against Germany because it seemed to be what to do because of the King thing.
  • 1976 - The lemon becomes extinct.
  • 1978 - Blue Lemonade becomes extremely popular, replacing lit petrol as the beverage of choice.
  • 1982 - Blue Lemonade is found to cause cancer in blue rats.
  • 1983 - The government apologises for the cancer scare, saying that Blue Lemonade does, in actual fact, cause tuberculosis and not cancer.
  • 1999 - Study attributes large penis size in black men to intake of Blue Lemonade. Blue lemonade sales increase 300%.
  • 2000 - Study determined to be only a sales tactic as black men only consume orange drink.
  • 2002 - Monsanto claims intellectual property rights over Blue Lemonade. Third World Blue Lemonade producers are taken out of business.
  • 2004 - Philip Seymour Hoffman becomes the first known human being to pee Blue Lemonade.
  • 2006 - The infamous flying horse Pegasus is arrested and brought to jail on counts of theft of Blue Lemonade from Hoffman and arson.
  • 9785 - Blue Lemonade allies with the Pope to destroy the universe. Earth catches fire. Someone sends this message into the past in the form of an insane baby. No-one listens.