Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 14

April 14: Miraculous Discovery Day

• 13 CE - Repairs begin after the worst Friday the 13th ever.
• 1215 - The Magna Carta is signed, giving the Red Baron the right to bake pizza on his warplane.
• 1492 - Just 5 days out to sea, Columbus discovers more water.
• 1654 - On this Sunday, by a freak coincidence, no-one turned up to church at all, anywhere. Excuses cited include "washing cart" and "wife pregnant".
• 1897 - A commuter is canonized for the miracle of having exact change and the miracle of not missing her stop and asking the conductor to back up the train.
• 1947 - The Miracle on 34th Street occurs when a non-New Yorker holds a door open for someone else. Little did he know that with constant traffic, he would be standing in the same spot for 65 hours.
• 1949 - All of China is astounded when superhero Chairman brings folding chairs to all Politburo meetings.
• 1967 - Yoko Ono forms her renegade militant group The Plastic Renegades with the objective of destroying all good music in the universe.
• 1973 - Cowboy singer Slim Whitman finally sells a record to someone not a member of his family.
• 1987 - Miracle Whip is deemed "less than miraculous" by the FDA. (pictured)
• 2002 - Hundreds of Korean children die when they are bussed to the wrong venue instead of being taken to the Youth in Asia Conference in Seoul.
• 2008 - Somebody was wrong *gasp!* on the internet.