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“I believe I have more page views than you, Mr President...”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bebo
Bebo Logo.
Note the sinisterly friendly login. Underneath, it's all lies.

Bebo is an internet site chiefly used by paedophiles as a source of arousal. The website was designed by some dirty old paedophile specifically for little girls to place naked photographs of themselves, as well as addresses, phone numbers and route home from school on a webpage that anyone can visit. If they fail to put any of these things on their page, their account will be deleted. It was used by pioneer pedophile Geoffrey Leonard recently to entice young boys into his 'gingerbread house' as he called it.

It's also important to note that these days Bebo's emo population seems to have overwhelmed its pedo and nudist populations. With the overwhelming number of emos now on this website, it's often hard to even log onto it without cutting your wrists

Improvements over the MySpace engine[edit]

Although Bebo does nothing to improve the limited social functions of MySpace users, it does feature some technical improvements:

  • Improved graphical engine that is so amazing it looks like a normal website to mere mortals. This is necessary to lure in its victims.
  • A greater concentration of emos
  • More options to enter in your address and details of your life so you can meet many interesting adults you don't know and possibly have meaningless unwilling sexual intercourse.
  • Even easier to guess passwords (trust me I know).
  • An advanced friend engine that allows you to accumulate random "friends", even when not logged in or when using both hands to masturbate to your crush's photos. Tests have shown this makes it possible to collect friends 11.2 times as fast as MySpace.
  • An enhanced video uploader that installs the awesome VideoEgg Uploader virus on your computer.
  • Bands pages are now no longer endorsed by the actual band, because that was totally gay.
  • A more vast photography engine, that allows you to upload up to 1,000,000 photos at a time; the next version is rumoured to improve this measly limit.
  • The grammar engine has been tweaked enough to allow chavs to play the game so they can engage in the all new battle system and fight their enemies: The Emos.
  • Every 23rd of March there is a Bebo festival known as Pedo day, where clicking on a button can lead to logging in to another's account, allowing easier access of personal information and the ability to spread porn on profiles that do not have any (no one told them the internet is for pordemocratic]] and righ

ia bbz ouz u? avnt seen u in ags w/b x <---- Typical Bebo chav vandalism added to this entry

Bebo has become so popular with chavs that the traditional word computerhas been replace by the bebo machine ie

Near Death[edit]

With a hit in popularity in 2006, alot of younger users (10-14 year olds) started using Bebo because 'they found it fun' and 'you could hide your age'. In late 2009, with the conflict of the 'new profile' many of these 'young users' (most aged 12-14) moved to Facebook, as they were old enough to it. The older Bebo users already had a Facebook account but never really used them until 2009


A typical Bebo page.

Things on Bebo such as Top Friends, bad photos, and lack of comments can lead to the ends of friendships and the beginnings of social rejection. Every day, reportedly 11 million teenagers across the world are taken out of someone's top friends. 99.9% of these teenagers usually become extranged from these list murderers, just after they pop onto their page and leave a comment without bebo luv, saying something like "oi u dik oi put me bak in ur top frendz oi ur a prik".

Photos can also lead to epic battles. A simple photo of a girl with her hair photoshopped from blonde to brown, can cause an eruption of sickly sweet compliments, then leading to a long conversation about eyeliner or dead puppies. Sometimes, people tend to say things like, "oh oi we're havin a convo ova bebo photo comments oi we're so randim i wunda if any1 is readin dis lol wot retrds". There have been many cases where an unwanted visitor would leave a comment on a photo, only to be shunned by the other commentors, saying things like "FUCK OFF" or "Oi what the fuck is her problem, no one in our group at school even likes her".

The only comments that show on a bebo profile are the most recent 20. If a person happens to have their most recent comment from someone over a day ago, people begin to treat that person as though they have no friends. Small images of hearts can be left with comments on a page three times a day by each member of Bebo, adding to the total shown on that particular page. This total, as such, refers to an indication of how much the owner of that page is "Loved", apparently. Low amounts of Bebo love, ranging from 1 to 50, create lines of negative criticism from other members, involving comments like "HAHA YOU HAVE HARDLY ANY LOVE OMG LOL YOU SUCK". These ass holes usually don't help victims out of their loveless black hole.

Unfortuanatly, in mid 2009 a nucleur bomb erupted in the heart of bebo causing the mass occupants to flee to Facebook and MySpace, luckily, most survived. the land of bebo parched now, with roaming gangs of 12 year olds ruelling the land and with no contact to the outside world, theer is no hope for those remaining.


The expansion pack has been criticised for not allowing MySpace users to transfer their account to Bebo, but this problem has also been seen as a good thing by MySpace whores as it allows them to create TWO accounts!

The creation of Junk Mail Panic has been mistaken as a new social feature, Michael Bitch has personally stated that this is not the case and anyone seen using the feature for anything other than Junk Mail Panic will be banned and will have Windows Me installed on their computer, a fate worse than death itself. This has led many to criticise the feature, whilst boobs praise it as if it were god.

See also[edit]