Cavalry

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

The word "cavalry" refers to two distinctive species of homosapiens - one fictitious and the other real.

The fictitious cavalry[edit]

Fictitious cavalry, or more commonly known as "princes on white horses", are characters found in most child readers, urban legends and chick flicks. Although often perceived as a real species, especially by some females, fictitious cavalry are in fact nonexistent in Earth's biosphere. The first records of fictitious cavalry were found in Plato's works Critias and Timaeus, where they were described as the National Guards of the state of Atlantis.

According to legends, some fictitious cavalry fled their homeland as it submerged in the Great Billy Ocean. These refugees, who supposedly survived the disaster, were scattered abroad in all continents. Although they look much like a species of homosexuals known as "males", there are several characteristics unique to fictitious cavalry:

  1. They all possess several university/college degrees,
  2. They accept all the uses and abuses from females,
  3. They enjoy sunsets and long walks on the beach,
  4. Their individual wealth amounts to several high numbers,
  5. They are generally well regarded by magazines such as Time (Persons of the Year/Century/etc.), and last but not least,
  6. They are all handsome dudes with good taste in everything.

Curiously, the legends of cavalry are in fact more popular in Asian communities than in other societies. See Asian People.

If you manage to encounter such, pray for deliverance just stand IN FRONT. Their weapons won't reach over their steeds' heads, thus they can only hit you from their side. Side-attacking horse-humping FAGS!!!

The real cavalry[edit]

The real cavalry are males in camouflage. Contrary to popular beliefs, the real cavalry do not ride horses. In fact, recent research has revealed that most cavalrymen do not even know how to ride a horse. Instead, they travel by an avian known as "black hawk", and they hum the tune of Richard Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries as they lay waste along their paths. They are also known to huff napalm as they surf in beaches, flick through TV channels, build furniture from IKEA-supplied kits and watch Saturday football. These are the people that improve articles on the Pee Review.

Francis Ford Coppola has a documentary on the general habits of the real cavalry. See trailer.

Some famous cavalrymen[edit]

Not to be confused with, or pronounced as[edit]