Celebrity Advice/Answer 1

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"And when her leg fell off after the wedding I was like... Whoa! How'd that happen?"

Dear Confused,

Can marriage work out second time around? Someone once said "She loves you, and you know you should be glad", it was probably John - he wrote all the best lines. Personally I'd go for "All you need is a water-tight pre-nup", but maybe I'm just old and bitter.

Anyway, if the lady has an odd number of limbs she's probably a blonde bitch with a hole in her bank account that needs filling. But don't let that put you off entirely. I'm getting re-married for the second time and you'd do worse than following my example. Find a rich American heiress, that seemed to work out pretty well last time. Don't marry a British amputee whatever you do - better to leave them sitting outside Marks And Spencer selling Big Issue.

Love & Peace


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