Chilean Miner Farm

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Chilean Miner Farm is a popular Christmas present.

Chilean Miner Farm is a children's game developed and distributed by Tonka. Chilean Miner Farm is for ages 6 and up, and comes with 33 live miners packaged in the box. The miners come from Chile (obviously) and were taken from their families and shrunken by an evil magician.

History[edit]

The "idea" of Chilean Miner Farm came from the mind of Michael Moore, who thought that the accident that happened sometime ago would make a kickass documentary. However the Chilean government would not allow Moore to enter their country because of his contagious obesity. So Moore decided to make a small scale version of the ordeal and film what happened. Executives at Tonka heard of Moore's idea and hired Leonardo DiCaprio to enter Moore's dreams and steal the idea. When Moore realized his idea was stolen, it was already too late. Tonka had acquired a patent and had Moore thrown in Azkaban. Moore is planning on making a documentary about this incident to point out why he hates capitalism.

In the Box[edit]

Each box of Chilean Miner Farm comes packaged with:

  • 33 Shrunken Chilean Miners
    • Additional miners can be purchased online, as well as many other shrunken versions of people you could want trapped underground.
  • 50 Shrunken rescue workers and equipment
  • Sony HD 1080p video camera and network link provided by Cisco.
    • This comes in the box so you can watch the tearful videos your miners send to their families.
  • 500 tiny packages of food and water.
Magnified image of trapped miners in the playset.

Games[edit]

There are many different kinds of games that can be played with a Chilean Miner Farm playset. The most popular is to see how creative you can kill the miners while the network link is sending video to the families. Common ways are through flooding, smashing the dirt to crush the miners, dropping lit cigars into the tunnels to suffocate the miners, and lighting the set on fire. Another game has an opposite objective. How long can you make the miners survive torture and malnutrition. The record was thought to be held by Barack Obama (4 years), until Kim Jong-Ill's miners survived 16 years.

Video Game Adaptation[edit]

This is the only level in Dig Dug: Chilean Miner Edition.

In 2010, Atari released "Dig Dug: Chilean Miner Edition", a video game based off of Chilean Miner Farm. The game is a variant of the popular video game franchise Dig Dug. In this version the player controls the Chilean rescue pod. The only controls are up and down, there is no time limit, no enemies, and no consequences for leaving the miners in the hole. The game is notable for being the hardest video game ever created, and only Jack Bauer has beaten it. The game's notorious difficulty has led to the suicide of at least 13 people. For this statistic it was awarded Game of the Year by IGN, G4TV, and Nickelodeon.