Ed, Edd n Eddy
“One of the most insightful projects I had ever seen before it became a trash comedy about inbred alien lifeforms.”
Ed, Edd n Eddy (Previously "An Introspective on Human Behavior and Society through the eyes of three foreigners") is an alien reality show that follows the lives of three friends, Ed, Edd and Eddy. The show started as a research program on humans by an alien race, hence the name, but has since devolved into a silly comedy about three random mentally defective kids wandering around causing mass destruction and chaos, while also participating in wondrous experiences of self-discovery.
The show follows the lives of three preteen timelord aliens with similar names: Ed, Eddy and their universal leader Edd. They meet every day on top of Mount Olympus, and plan the misadventures they will have on that day. They infiltrate the human population in several ages and engage in regular activities, attempting to learn more about the humans' way of living. Every day they have a different experience, and until this point they have managed a cocaine business, removed the Rugrats from national broadcasting and activated a thermonuclear bomb in Washington D.C.
The group is known for their powers of seeming immortality, seeing as they survive almost every man-made weapon except for the butter knife: When exposed to butter knives their bodies appear to temporarily disintegrate, as shown in the episode "Requiem for the United States", where they fight previous president Barack Obama. Ed, Edd and Eddy are suspected to be demi-gods, even though this is uncomfirmed.
Ed, Edd n Eddy recieves funding from Coruscant where it is a worldwide hit, with about 10bil. viewers every episode (Holy shit...) However, the show was originally a personal project by the group intended for National Geographic where they explored the day-to-day activities of humans for studying. When they found out drinking was way more fun than recording people drinking, they hired a camera crew and began recording the shit they did on planet Earth. The footage was sold to BBC, CNN and MTV, which broadcast the show on a regular basis. However, the dirty episodes of the show, like the social commentary "Eddy hires a hooker", are often broadcasted on Adult Swim.
The show's pilot, "Ed's Masochistic Fetish", aired in 1998 on YouTube. It recieved over a billion views and was an immediate hit, with Edd recieving propositions from BBC, CNN and Adult Swim. The show currently broadcasts on several networks throughout the universe and has an average of three trillion views per episode. Their most watched episode was "The creation of the homosexual beaver" with five septillion views throughout the cosmos.
There was a temporary feud with CNN regarding one of their episodes, and it ended up not being broadcasted anywhere. The copies of the episode were lost to a mysterious space pirate gang who captured a ship transporting about a million copies of the episode. One of these copies was recently sold on e-bay for 5.000.000$ by a stranger in a tophat and sunglasses. The show is one of the few regularly-broadcasted shows on Cartoon Network that is live-action.
Music and Title Sequence
The opening music is regarded as one of the greatest works of composition in the cosmos. It has been compared to works by Bach and Mozart, and has recieved universal praise for its social commentary. The title sequence features the three companions acting in an extremely retarded manner, demonstrating how easily an alien can fit in with the human population. Simply showing symptoms of Down Syndrome can make someone fit in perfectly, and the President of the World is analysing ways to make infiltration by outer-world species in the human masses more difficult.
“Oh... Oh my.”
Eddy is the brawn of the group while simultaneously being the smallest member. He uses incredible workout techniques to expand his biceps to unbelievable levels, and has abs to die for. He keeps his amazing power concealed beneath his clothes, because if he were to show his true strength to the world all men would succumb of jealousy and all women on earth would die due to dehydration from the excessive sweating. He is listed as one of the sexiest beings in the Milky Way and is in the top 100 sexiest human-like characters in the Universe. In multiple episodes he can be seen showing his strength and brawn, ravaging the gang's enemies using well-placed punches and extremely strong kicks to the groin.
However, Eddy's brawn is balanced with his brain seeing as he has the same mental abilities as a mentally impaired chicken. He lacks basic math skills (the most complicated operation he can complete being 10x10 in about 20 minutes time) and cannot read, even though he speaks with the deep voice of a gentleman. His stalion-like looks attract several females galaxy-wide, and he is one of the biggest ladiesmen who has ever lived. His selfishness, immaturity and sense of self-entitlement made it so that he self-appointed himself as the leader of the group, the real leader however being Edd.
He is usually regarded as the handyman of the trio and usually gets them out of rough situations that require physical aptitude.
Edd is the brains of the group. An average-heighted humanoid, he is a licensed physician with a PHD in astrophysics and all types of engineering knowledge, as well as a teacher for the MIT. Edd is also regarded as the inventor of the hot-plate and the man who gave peniciline to Alexander Fleming. He has to constantly wear a hat, be it a cap or a beanie, because if his head was exposed to the regular air the particles of O2 would immediately disappear due to the radiation and the earth's core would implode, transforming the planet into a black hole. Edd is regarded as one of the smartest men in the Milky Way, along with Albert Einstein and Benjamin Franklin, and has designed several devices the group uses during their adventures.
Contrary to Eddy, Edd is an awkward scrawny nerd whose daily exercise consists of typing random shit into his computer. He lives in the basement of the house the trio shares, and is often seen bragging to women about his "skills as a trumpet player", only to be absolutely denied or slapped across his face. However, he is the trio's most important member and its official leader, as he is the only one smart enough to guide them through the crazy crap they do without getting killed. He has designed exoskeleton suits for the gang to be able to travel through space, and is the one who had the idea of creating the show. His best friend other than the other Eds is a cactus he named Jim, and Edd has been diagnosed with both mild schizophrenia and Asperger's Syndrome.
He is a very competent master for his two friends and is usually the one who usually gets them involved in their diverse shenanigans.
Ed is the agile one of the group and is the tallest. He was diagnosed with autism at birth and has been suffering from his diagnosis since then. He joined the group when Edd saw Ed travelling through the cosmos at nearly 100.000m/s. He often races The Flash for fun and is the only one of the trio able to travel through space without use of an exoskeleton suit. However, wearing one allows him to exceed the speed of light. Despite his condition, Ed is a beloved character and usually sets the image for the show, being the most popular of the trio among viewers. He is one of the fastest beings ever.
Ed excels at escaping risky situations due to his speed. Edd has designed a device which allows him to carry both Edd and Eddy, allowing them to travel to different points on Earth in mere seconds. He regularly sees a psychiatrist in Germany who helps him deal with his night terrors and helps his friends and family deal with his condition and assist Ed in his daily activities.
He is depicted as a last-minute resort, using his powers as a last minute escape during risky situations such as the atomic disaster of Washington D.C.
- Jim - Jim is Edd's pet cactus and only real friend other than Ed and Eddy. Even though Edd acknowledges that it is impossible for a cactus to befriend a human, he still uses it to let off some steam whenever his actual therapist isn't available.
- Jonny - Jonny is a loner and is often made fun of by his colleagues, often referred to as "melonpeen" by Eddy due to a tumor growing on his left testicle. He is considered to be the physical embodiment of bullying in the show.
- Jimmy - Jimmy is an accident-prone insecure crybaby, who looks up to Eddy because of his muscular build. He too wishes to become strong, but is too much of a pussy to do anything to achieve it.
- Sarah - Sarah is Ed's little spoiled bratty sister. She was forcefully adopted and never left Ed's side since his arrival to Earth. She is kind to the Eds only when it suits her, and has shown some empathy for Edd; However, she often abuses him mentally and physically due to peer pressure. Edd is conjuring a master plan to get his revenge on Sarah.
- Kevin - Kevin is an obnoxious, cruel and possibly homosexual jock. He is hated by everyone but his bloated ego means he can't imagine a reality where he is disliked.
- Rolf - Rolf is an illegal immigrant of possible danish descent; In several episodes he is depicted attempting to escape the authorities. However, he rarely gets caught.
- Jazz Van Bartonsmear - The most mature and intelligent secondary character in the show. She is usually empathetic and respectful towards her peers, but can become a real bitch when antagonized.
Ed, Edd n Eddy gathered a whopping 45 reviews on metacritic with a score of 8.5. However, hidden reviews class the series as a "Modern Day Masterpiece" and Edd has recieved three golden globe awards, as well as a Dr. Seuss Award for Excelence in TV shows and a Modern-Family Grade Academy Award.
Some of the show's episodes on Adult Swim are regarded as "sensitive" and so the PC police is there to bash Edd's skull in for trying to make something for adult audiences. Their most controversial episode was "A blow for Mr. Doe" which featured John Doe recieving a blowjob from an indonesian prostitute hired by Ed in an accidental call. The episode was deemed "NSFW" and is only available in certain websites across the internet.