Frazer Smith
Frazer Smith (born 17 January 1955) is one of the many hobos living in Sherman Oaks, California. He is sustained by food and drink stolen from the buffet at his place of work, Comedy Time, having cunningly tricked the director into thinking that he was actually a comedian.
Backdrops[edit]
Frazer has several different backdrops to choose from, depending on which set he is performing. All of these boards have a proper suit painted on, so all he has to do is stand behind them and put his face through the hole in order to appear smartly dressed- the face hole can slide shut when the scene is not in use to show a photo of him grinning. Since he has to hold the board up as he delivers his set, he has installed a pair of fake arms on the front of each board, which he can control from behind the board using a set of levers. Frazer also has a foot pedal so he can open and close the lid of a can of laughter which he uses between jokes. He often chooses to wear these scenes outside of work, in order to conceal his homelessness- this understandably gives him problems when walking though narrow corridors and doorways. The microphone on the front of each board is actually a funnel, connected to a tube which is fed into Frazer’s trousers, allowing food and drink from the buffet to be poured down, creating the illusion that he is consuming it and not stealing it. Frazer is presently pleading with the Comedy Time director to have some differently themed sets- only then will he be given more boards, with which he can construct a small home.
Anecdotes[edit]
- A passing fan once greeted the image on one of the backdrops (which he mistook for Frazer Smith) by shaking the fake hand. Needless to say, he was terrified when Frazer’s arm came off!
- On one unfortunate occasion, Frazer woke up to realise that his car had been entered on the TV show Robot Wars- with him still in it!
- Out of all the times Frazer has broken into his local internet café to edit his MySpace account, he has only been caught once. The café owner, who was awakened at 2.00am by the sound of the break in downstairs, quickly alerted the police of this information. On hearing the police sirens, Frazer hurriedly logged off and ran out the café, but he unknowingly stopped moving as his scenery board was too wide for him to pass through the door as he continued to run on the spot. Despite this, Frazer managed to excuse himself by exclaiming his regular punch line, “April Fools!”
The police officers cracked up, when realising they had fallen victim to a prank on what actually turned out to be April 1st.
Fraze- Facts[edit]
- His catch- phrase, or should I say catch-Fraze is "Kids are crazy for the Frazy!"
- Frazer has been caught many times stealing food from the complimentary buffet laid out at his performances. His favourite technique is to insert ham sandwiches into his crotch when no one is looking. Frazer has allegedly admitted the following whilst drunk:
“So I got myself a swell Santa suit for a kidzz party, and I discoved that I could conceal an entire North Atlantic Cod in the jacket!! Hell, I even absorbed a whole quart of fruit punch in the beard! It was totally gee-whizz!!!!”
- Frazer has a recurring nightmare in which he is slipping from the hand of a giant clock he is hanging onto as it gradually moves towards the number six- Psychologists often liken this image to that of the Comedy Time logo, which suggests Frazer's subconscious acknowledgement of his failing career.
- After a tough battle, Frazer's car eventually managed to push Sir Killalot into the flame pit. The kid who was controlling the car halved the book token reward with Frazer- it was only fair.
- Aliases include Frazer Funny and Frazer Cool.
- Frazer can rap up a storm with the best of 'em.
Rumours[edit]
- The hit popular song, Let's Talk About Sex! by Salt 'n' Pepa is rumoured to be about Frazer!
- Allegedly, Frazer single handedly played the part of 14 members of Star Trek: The Next Generation including Captain Picard!