Get This
Get This... is the official propaganda medium of the Satiny Kaftan Kult - an underground movement dedicated to restoring the said liberating clothes de jour for the portly gentleman to the mainstream. It can be heard on Radio Triple M across Australia or on KO FM in Newcastle.
The Get This... Team[edit]
The Get This... team is fronted by Tony Martin. He is an overweight and stubbled Richmond Tigers fan. He wrote and starred in the films Crackerjack and Boytown. In TV circles, he is known as the host of a shortlived Channel Nine talk show who simulated air synth on stage moments before Kerry Packer rang the studio and said, "Who is this Nick Kershaw!". Tony Martin is often mistaken for his former colleague Mick Molloy. This is ironic because Molloy is extremely underweight and of small stature. Some argue that if Molloy had been involved in writing Crackerjack or Boytown said movies would have been of a higher class and slightly more funny. Unlike Martin, Molloy would not know who the Richmond Tigers were if they were biting his backside; he is too busy recording the 7:30 report and Lateline to pursue such sporting endeavours.
Martin's sidekick is Ed "Meatpie" Kavalee (born Led Kava), an animal rights activist who tries to get under the skin of the PETA crew by promoting KFC in a series of homoerotic TV ads, and by videoing himself dressed in a panda suit promoting man and animal love. He also aggravates PETA by re-enacting the childhood of several prominent serial killers. Specifically, he videos himself torturing kittens and uploads that on Youtube. He hopes that one particular video of him skinning a live rlsand is used as an alias. Ed one day hopes he will become a successful singer. He has already written a book nae a bible on NDF for which has won him a Nobel Peace Prize.
Richard Marsland (not his real name) contributes to the mayhem with his anecdotes about life in Adelaide and his appearances on Rove Live, Channel Ten's answer to UKTV's Birds of a Feather. His best contribution so far has been his review of Adelaide Beats, a subect every visitor to the City of Churches should be familiar with. Marsland appreciates the practical nature of the Satiny Kaftan when using a beat because there is little time to mess around with belts and zippers. Marsland was a victim of Uncyclopedia's alternate reality (aka Wikipedia), being banned from the site after several of his real names were released to the public. Among his true monikers are Mission to Marsland, Veronica Marsland and Shock Jock Richard Marsland. The name Richard Marlsand is used as an alias. Under one of his real identities, Marsland likened women to pieces of uncovered meat. He has also had a feature on his morning show A.M (All Marsland) Adelaide where he would whip and later woo his co host, Anne Wills.
Many people have been considered the mysterious Fourth Member of Get This... The most likely candidates are Pete Best, Stuart Sutcliffe, Winkie Dink and Brian De Palma. No definitive answer couldbe given by the time that Get This... was disbanded. The collapse came about largely due to intereference from Japanese conceptual artist Yoko Ono, who started dating one of the crew.
The Wikipedia Conspiracy[edit]
In an attempt to bolster the value of the Satiny Kaftan propaganda the Get This… crew developed and implemented a ‘free encyclopedia’ which they named Wikipedia. The site remains another outlet for Satiny Kaftan propaganda and was created to perpetuate the myth that- as a result of the show’s meteoric rise, listeners have resorted to ‘extreme vandalism’ of their Wikipedia page. So deep was the cover-up that the Get This…crew was not only forced to vandalise their own page but they were forced to disable editing of their page because of said vandalism.
Get This... Scientology and Politics[edit]
The Get This... team have been profoundly influenced by the teachings of L Ron Hubbard, a science fiction writer who discovered the value of brainwashing celebrities to legitimise one's cult. Each day, a celebrity is invited to espouse the virtues of Satiny Kaftans. Some celebrities have seen the light and declined the chance to be there, the most recent genius being John Mayer. Bob Franklin has chosen a Ghandi style form of passive resistance, going on the show and remaining tight lipped.
The Get This... team have had more success infiltrating Australian politics. MP's are frequently interviewed on a range of subjects. The ABC then steals these sound bites, travels back in time and plays them last night's The 7:30 Report. Such unabashed support of the Satiny Kaftan movement on their flagship current affairs show is yet another example of blatant ABC bias that must be eradicated.