Hardline

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Hardline is a sect of Straightedge which fuses elements of Calvinism, veganism, and hardcore punk. An adherent of the Hardline religion is known as a hardliner.

The Hardline philosophy forbids its adherents from smoking or chewing any form of tobacco, drinking alcoholic beverages, using illicit drugs or modern medicines, eating meat, and having sex (despite the sign their symbol is sXe). Instead, Hardliners are expected to follow a strict dietary regimen.

Origins[edit]

Hardline has its origins in the 1990s SoCal hxc punk scene. Although one of the basic tenets of Hardline was that it had existed in various forms since the beginning of time, the ideology was largely formulated by Sean Muttaqi of the band Vegan Reich. The Hardline philosophy was said to be rooted in one ethic (the sacredness of innocent life), but in reality the ethos rested on that base and on an idea of an immutable Natural Order. Put in more specific terms, Hardline can be described as a synthesis of deep ecology, straight edge, animal liberation, leftism, and Abrahamic religion (especially Islam and Pastafarianism).

The Five Point of Hardline[edit]

The five points of Hardline, which can be remembered by the English acronym TULIP, with supporting passages from Minor Threat lyrics are:

Total depravity[edit]

A group of men showcasing Total depravity.
People in their natural, unregenerate state do not have the ability to turn to Ian MacKaye. Rather it is the grace and will of Ian MacKaye through Minor Threat that causes men who are dead in sin to be reborn through Fugazi. This concept is summarized by the aphorism "Regeneration precedes faith," since in the Hardline view, apart from the regenerating work of Minor Threat for the individual, there would never be any faith. It should also be noted that the term "total" is not intensive in nature, meaning that all persons are intensely sinful, but is rather extensive, meaning that sin has extended to and corrupted every portion of man's being.
  • "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Unconditional election[edit]

This man has all the signs of being elect.
Election means "hardcore". Ian MacKaye's choice from eternity, of whom he will bring to himself, is not based on foreseen virtue, merit or faith in the persons He chooses but rather is unconditionally grounded in his own mercy. Those who are elect will be born with a disposition to become straight edge and listen to Hardcore.
  • "I don’t even think about speed/That’s something I just don’t need."
  • "AAAAAAAAA!"

Limited music[edit]

Also called "particular taste" or "definite hardcore" meaning that hardcore punk is the only type of music which guarantees salvation.
  • "We play loud electric guitar music, and we'd hope that that doesn't mean you have to act like an asshole."

Irresistible grace[edit]

This man appears to have received grace.
The saving grace of Ian MacKaye is not resistible. Those who obtain salvation do so because of the relentlessness of Ian MacKaye's mercy. Individuals yield to grace, not finally because Ian MacKaye found their consciences more tender or their faith more tenacious than other people. Rather, willingness, and any ability to do Ian MacKaye's will, are evidence of Ian MacKaye's faithfulness to save people from the power and the penalty of sin. Thus, violence is the only answer.
  • "I'm just a person like you/ But I've got better things to do"

Perseverance of edge kids[edit]

Also called the "Preservation of edge kids". Those whom Ian MacKaye has called into communion with himself through Minor Threat will continue in faith and will increase in faith and other gifts until the end. Those who apparently fall away, either never had true faith to begin with, or else will return. This is slightly different from the "once saved, always saved" view prevalent in modern Straightedge: in that doctrine, despite seeming apostasy, the individual is really saved; in Hardline teaching, the individual is proving that they are not saved at all, and never were.
  • Than sit around and fuck my head/ Hang out with the living dead."

See Also[edit]