HowTo:Pick up and keep women

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So you want to pick up a hot woman but don't know how. Just follow this advice and you'll be swimming in women in no-time.

How to Pick Up Women[edit]

Guys that look like this are excellent at attracting and keeping beautiful women
  1. Give them compliments telling them how beautiful they are
  2. Buy her flowers on the first date
  3. Pay for everything
  4. Fidgit nervously and stutter a lot, this shows that you like her
  5. Don't look her directly in the eye
  6. Tell her she's out of your league
  7. If you go to a sad movie together, make sure you show emotion, girls love guys who are sensitive
  8. Avoid talking about your athletic and sexual conquests, women don't like men who are arrogant or overly masculine
  9. Let her decide where to go and what to do
  10. Never declined any request or favour from her no matter how ridiculous
  11. Don't make any moves on her, if she likes you, she'll make the first move
  12. Offer to let her move in with you after the first date
  13. Call her 50 times the next day after the first date, this shows how much you care
  14. Show up unannounced at her home or place of employment, women love surprises
  15. Quietly watch her from outside her window at night, she'll think you are being protective of her

What Women Look For in Men[edit]

The Look[edit]

Women like men who are around the same size or smaller than them. Larger guys intimidate women, they prefer men who are shorter and thinner.

Personality[edit]

Women like men who are agreeable, sensitive, and in-touch with their feminine side. A great way to win over women is by giving them regular compliments, offering to buy them things, asking about their feelings, and letting them do whatever they want, even if that includes dating other men. Crying during movies is also highly encouraged.

Finances[edit]

Women love when men pay for everything. It makes their lives so much easier. If you move in with a woman, make sure you pay for everything. Don't let her spend a cent. In fact she doesn't even have to do any work. Just go to work 10 hours a day 7 days a week for her in addition to doing all the housework both inside and out. She will love you for it.

Ways to Keep the Relationship Peaceful[edit]

By following this priceless advice, you will bag the hottie of your dreams in no time. But how do you keep the relationship you've worked so hard to build from falling apart? Read on to find out.

  1. Immediately delete all female friends from your facebook and msn, especially the attractive ones, she needs to know that she is your one and only
  2. Don't spend any time away from her unless she asks
  3. Do whatever she tells you, if she tells you not to hang out with your friends its probably because they are bad for you
  4. If she wants more space, give it to her, even if she's banging other men
  5. If she breaks up with you, leave her alone, she probably found someone better anyways, don't move on though, always carry a torch for her, she'll find it sweet and might take you back
  6. If you catch her cheating on you, forgive her
  7. Don't cheat on her even if she does on you, the rules are different for women, if you cheat its your fault, if she cheats, its still your fault
  8. Make sure you spend as little money as possible on yourself and give all your extra money to her
  9. Do all the housework inside and out
  10. Don't talk to any other women without her permission
  11. If she physically abuses you just let her hit you until she wears herself out
  12. If she destroys your things it means you didn't really need them in the first place
  13. Always take her side if she argues with a family member or friend
  14. Remember, emotional abuse isn't abuse, unless of course you are doing it to her, then its worse than physical abuse
  15. If she has had a bad childhood or poor previous relationships she is allowed to use you as a proxy for her dysfunctional parents and/or exes and punish you for their mistakes

What to Avoid[edit]

Don't have any female friends that look like this

When attracting hot women there are several things that are to be avoided at all costs. These include but are not limited to;

  1. Having your own opinion
  2. Having friends she doesn't approve of
  3. Spending money on yourself or on your friends
  4. Having interests that she doesn't approve of
  5. Editing uncyclopedia articles
  6. Working out too much or being stronger than she is
  7. Playing sports
  8. Being able to defend yourself
  9. Being confident
  10. Having female friends
  11. Talking to other women
  12. Drinking Beer
  13. Smoking Pot
  14. Driving too fast (shows aggressiveness and confidence, two things women hate)
  15. Talking too much about your personal problems (while its important to be sensitive and cry whenever possible in support of her and her issues, its unwise to burden her with your personal issues, its your job to carry and take care of both your own and her issues so she doesn't have to carry anything)

See Also[edit]