Louis C.K.

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Louis C.K.
Louie sadly not giving a fuck.
Date of birth: June 9, 1967 (The Summer of Love)
Birth location: Washington, D.C.
Height: 6'Something"
Notable role(s): That guy that looks at you funny on the Subway. That guy who has food and himself on his shirt at all times. That guy you don't invite to a suburban block party.
Academy Awards: Not Yet
Spouse: Surprisingly not Pamela Adlon

"Brother" Louie C.K. the XVI more commonly known as Louis C.K. is a Mexican/American Professional Funny-man, Thespian, Master of Words, and Competitive Eater who is best known for creating, writing, starring, and basically doing everything for the widely acclaimed television program Louie.

Louis is also known for being a master at not giving a fuck for anything he seems to come across. When faced with a trial, errand, or even an everyday task, Louie reacts to these usually by staring off into space with his jaw slightly dropped, and have the task go completely over his head. Notable examples of this occurence include the Episode(s) of Louie when he auditioned for The Late Show, when he single-handedly let a Fortune 500 company slip into bankruptcy, and when he ran for president under the campaign slogan, "Wait, who's the other guy again?"

Louis also is a stanch food enthusiast, the subject of which appears throughout many of his stand-up bits. The Food Network ranked Louis third on its list of The 100 Hungriest Comedians of all Time, in front of Louie Anderson, and behind Lavell Crawford and Jim Gaffigan who were ranked two and one respectively.

Early Life[edit]

Trust me you don't want to see the color version.
"I began to notice in the works [of Nicholson] how each performance was cleverly constructed to give off the impression of being the exact same each time, it was monumental to my developing years. When you look at Cuckoo's nest or Shining you start to realize that that the tiniest nuances in his performance all alluded to the fact that he simply didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything. It was awesome!"
—– Louis C.K. on Jack Nicholson's influence

Louie C.K. was born "Brother" Louie C.K. the XVI to Martha Salamanca and Louis C.K. the XV on June 6, 1967 in Washington D.C. At an early age his parents decided to move to Mexico City, Mexico in search of the Mexican/American dream.

While there, young Louis was subject to much bullying and torment by his fellow classmates due to his copious amount of fiery red hair. "It was a tough time for me," Louis reflected, "Many times while the other kids were playing and having fun, I would be found behind the school bathrooms crying to myself, deeply ashamed of this terrible travesty of a hair-color." In order to combat this torment, Louis intuitively studied the arts of Not Giving a Fuck, and gravitated toward the works of Jack Nicholson as his main inspiration. He latter commented that studying Nicholson's performances would give him the motivation to try and not give a fuck about comments made about his voluminous amount of hair, and from this would perfect the counter-attack of staring off into space, acting like he had no clue what was going on in order to confuse his enemies.

This however would result in negative attention from school board as they became increasingly concerned with Louis's intelligence levels. It seems that he had practiced the defense mechanism so often that it resulted in him doing it even in times of importance such as state testing or class participation. In a private meeting Louie's teacher revealed to Martha that he scored 55 on an IQ test, explaining that Louie was at imbecilic levels of intelligence. Devastated by the news, Martha returned home and explained to her son that there was a considerable possibility that he would not be able to function in a normal society because of the assessment. To this Louis just responded, "Well you must be a woman now, because I just stepped on your dreams." To the mind of a insecure eight-year-old boy; this was comedy, something he knew right then and there he wanted to do for the remainder of his life.

Eventually Louis dropped out of middle school simply because he didn't give a fuck about it, and sought to pursue a career in the comedic arts. With the ever-watchful aid of Jack Nicholson movies, Louie was motivated, and set a goal for himself to be the first ginger stand-up comedian in the profession's history to be taken seriously.


One word: Suave...

In the late eighties Louis made his debut onto small time comedy circuits performing at low end venues such as your grandmother's backyard and gentleman clubs. His early persona was as shocking as it was controversial: an average every-man who just happened to be ginger. This look however proved to be a commercial failure for Louie as mainstream audiences felt that a red-haired, pasty-skinned man could not accurately convey the feelings of the common man.

Thus Louis would result in writing for others of his kind like Conan O'Brien in the following decade, (who in reality was the result of a Make A Wish project due to his Gingeritis.) Every so often Louis would try to sneak in one of his bits into the weekly script, but when Conan would find out about the changes, his hair would reportedly catch fire like a tiki-torch and scream at the cast and crew until Louie's bits were cut from the final script. After tapings, Louie would frequently be tared and feathered by Conan and fellow crew members for his misconduct in adding his own bits; and for being ginger of course, that was always an excuse, (hypocrisy be Conan's name!) Of course most people would react to this by screaming in bloody agony, but Louie kept calm during the commotion as he found solace in the ways of not giving a fuck. Also having no friends during this time, Louis spent most of his spare moments buffet hopping, furiously masturbating to Julianne Moore in Boogie Nights, and of course, binge watching The Jack Nicholson Signature DVD Collection on weekends.

Louis eventually quit his writing job in the early 2000's and started to develop what would become his magnum opus: Lucky Louie. From a stroke of utter brilliance Louis forged a creative, abstract, totally original premise for the show: A father dealing with the aspects of family. Because the idea was so cutting edge, Louis began to worry that he might not be the suitable actor for the lead part, even though his glowing red hair was starting to recede.