Old English

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“Þe Olde Englishe Suckeþ!”

~ Oscar Ƿilde on Þe Olde English
For verily doþ þine eȝes perchance dƿell.

Hƿæt! Ald Englisc is an tunge specen bi Ald Englisc menn.

Dumbældore ƿæs eald ond Englisc, ond ƿæs næfre æfre an mann. þæt ƿæs ƿifmann!. Alsƿa "Dumbældore" mænan "Bombælbeo", þæt macian an yfel sang! Ond na, Grendel ƿæs næfre an graƿ! Ic ƿillan naƿiht macian bæd Beoƿulf talu in þes talu-line...hƿæt don þu secgan?

Þou hast founde Þe Olde English page on Uncyclopædia. Þis long lost language originated in ƿhat many folk calleþ Angle-Lænde. Only foƿks from "Faerie Tale Lænd" and "Shakespeare Lænd" still speekeþ it.

History[edit]

And oh ȝea þe kind Olde English Ƿench of þe Lake did descend from þe Heavens, and quoþ unto þe small Village of Ȝorkeshire, "Ȝou are free from ȝe grippe of ȝe evyl Ƿytch Pamela þe Large!" And oh ȝea did þe Toƿnsfolk rejoyce! And rejoyce þeȝ did! And þe kind Ƿench did saȝ "I do not need rejoysing, nor do I need to be remembered." But alas, Sir Bron Dakari Þe Lesser did indede ƿant to rememberre þe Ƿench þæt haþ saved his Village, and commenced creating a Langƿige so perfect, þat all þe Ƿirld should knoƿ it. A Langƿyge knoƿn as Þe Olde English. Þe Olde English of Pamala þe Large! (Þe næme haþ since changeþ.)

Gramere[edit]

Ƿhen þou speakest Þe Olde Englisshe, þou shalt keep in þy place þat holdeþ þy brain (I Douten Þou Hast One) þæt ƿhensoever þou speakest, þou must alƿæȝs trye to confounde and confuse þe avyrage citizen ƿho liveþ in þe "Colonies". O! þou maȝest NEVER start a sentence after a shout of enjoymente ƿiþ a capitale letter. If þou dost, þou shalt get executed by þe Allmighty Royale Majestee King Henry VIII. All haȝle þe great Sovereigne of all þe glorious Kingdome of Englænde or face þe ƿraþe of mine all poƿerful knights! keepest þis þou in þine head and þou shalt do quite ƿell olde chappe.

Corecte Spellynge[edit]

It is se Cambricg Eald Ænglisc dictionarie!

In Þe Olde Anglalish, correcte spelinge is extrymelye optionalle. Ƿirdes mægically shifteþ in forme eavynne betƿeen diffarent places in þe sayme ƿirke. As long as it soundeþ riȝt, ƿho cæres??

Sub-tunges[edit]

Ae do naet knoƿ much aboutae Olde English.

Mersien[edit]

þe Miercas tunge of Ald Englisc ƿæs þe tunge specen in Mierce, uþþe Beormaingasham.

Norðhymbreland Englisc[edit]

Norðhymbreland Inglis Englisc ƿæs specan in Norðhymbreland (seon Neoƿe Castel), ond ƿæs gelic to Miercas tunge, butan ƿæs ænlic specen bi Neoƿe Castel Togædere fotball fylganas ond used 'ð'.

Ƿest Seaxon[edit]

Ƿest Seaxe Englisc ƿæs þe tunge of Englis sprecen in Ƿest Seax ond East Engla, ond ƿæs ungelic as hit had feaƿe ligeturas.

Centisc[edit]

Se Ald Cantisc tunge ƿæs gelic to Ƿest Seaxe, butan Cantisc had ligeturas ond ƿæs cƿæt gelic to Norðhymbreland Englisc as hit alsƿa habban 'ð' ond 'þ'. Hit ƿæs specen in Cant.

Sangs[edit]

Fotbal Is Icumen Ham[edit]

Marry! 'tis tƿixt þe kick and sang o' siren.
Fotbol is icuman ham,
Hlud singan "Engla-lond!"!
Singan "AN-NU-IT" ond singan "OLÉ",
Springan se Ƿoruld Cuppe nu,
Singan "Engla-lond!"!
Irlond singan æfter Scottalond,
Singan æfter Englalond, þu.
Singan Ispania, Singan Franc-lond,
Myrige singan "Engla-lond!"!
"Engla-lond! Engla-lond!", ƿe ƿillan singan þu, "Engla-lond";
Heo seƿen eall beforan! LA!
Singan "Engla-lond!" LA!. Singan "Ængle-lænd!".
Singan "Engla-lond!". Singan "Engle-læond!"LA!

( þis sang ƿæs sang on geol (or Cristmæsse for Christcynn) dæg for æfrean ƿanæht an Englalond in his stocka. )

Seest thou ælso[edit]