Ramsbottom, England

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A sculpture created for Ramsbottom by the noted artist Gaylord Mincie: "Metaphorical Orifice III"

Ramsbottom is a town in Northern England, United Kingdom. It is one of many amusingly named small towns in a country world-renowned for its eccentric behaviour and rain. The town's traditional name, "Slammanarse", was changed due to the worsening creation of jokes. This backfired when the district of "Upper Ramsbottom" was created.

Its major commerce consists of hospital fees, mostly from the kids from Notting Gayatal coming into town and punishing the poor kids of Ramsbottom.

True Testimonials[edit]

I made the move from Twatt, Scotland to merry old Ramsbottom late spring. My parents were outraged, and wouldn't speak to me. I told them it was a life choice, and that I felt more comfortable round Ramsbottom than in Twatt. I had been telling myself this for years, but I finally just did it. It had repercussions, but aye, it's still a nice way to be.

—Jim, the Merry Old Gay Englishman

I've been living here for many a year, and I do say it's quite nice to say you're living in Ramsbottom. It's always warm and snug, although a little bit damp, and you always have a numb feeling. Pure joy 'tis!

—Sam, The Balding Blissful Idiot

Still, many chafe at the incessant jokes about their town's name. A fey city fellow in a pub might get started: "What's the last thing through Ramsgate? Ramsbottom!" The locals grumble, with a dangerous glint in their drunken, heavily made-up eyes. "What was Oscar Wilde's favourite sport? Ramsbottom!"

The London chappie is usually discovered in a drainage ditch five days later with a badger stuffed down his lungs.

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