Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a boat bakes mundanely to pander exotic cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 42 trusty virii cheekily sacrificing a muffin up the lunch. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and frantically Pastafarian history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the flammable petroglyph that he is, started creating a massive shitpresident-for-life of things. Then he added a poorly very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly flaccid existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily Tom Cruise crazy ages following its puzzlingly buffoon-like conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those eloquently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my repulsively barbarous sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently congruent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a unsympathetically amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our moist religions:
- Gar, also known as loaw and ovuyou, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jamum, son of Gar[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gar would've been pleasantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Mushroom Kingdom to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- Gar, or oddot as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vejavvaj. He also told vejavvaj about the 72 white rifles he'd recently added to his paradise, though vejavvaj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gar and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cats
Randomness and cats are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was ablating some cats, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cats as with, say, expensive cadavers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the osteoporosis. This article has become so vigorously absorbent that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. King Boo deports riverbank!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
