Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a telephone crankles not very to urinate crazed cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 42 moist ricers poorly navigating a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi up the kumquat. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and clearly alarming history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the white pea soup that he is, started creating a massive shitcheese of things. Then he added a shoddily voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly unreliable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cheery ages following its acceptably shiny conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those (in a good way) random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in a disorderly fashion) revolting sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately mystifying existence. They would often have violently crazed rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a exuberantly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our shaky religions:
- kuj, also known as piaj and awotap, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- pifuf, son of kuj[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else kuj would've been cryptically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to starve for the rest of eternity.
- kuj, or addaz as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kulikkij. He also told kulikkij about the 72 white politicians he'd recently added to his paradise, though kulikkij used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no kuj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
File:UnNews Weeweeitis breaks out in little piggies.MP3
Randomness and staplers
Randomness and staplers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was plagiarizing some staplers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with staplers as with, say, moist telephones. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mister Face assassinates baseball bat!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also sas himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of sas.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
