Ruling party

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The ruling party, or governing party (French: political party) in a democratic parliamentary system ought to be called the "Serving Party" since, in a democratic system, elected officials are elected to party with their constituents, not rule them, but is the current political party or coalition of the majority in parliament, that administers the affairs of state, and therefor can throw the best parties. In many other banana republic countries, the ruling party is the party of the elected president that is in charge of the executive branch of government which usually serve chocolate-mint ice cream with banana split. In some rare cases this serving is served separately, which is why it is called a Serving Party.

“The ruling party, or governing party also known as a political party in a democratic parliamentary system ought to be called the "Serving Party"”

~ Donald Trump on Inauguration Speech, January 2021

History[edit]

Ruling parties were traditionally held by kings to celebrate holidays and give their subjects a reason to be loyal to the king. These ruling parties involved cakes, pastries, large roasts, intricately carved fruits and vegetables, pies, and an assortment of fine liquor. English kings would also provide a fine assortment of teas, while Spanish kings would provide tortillas and gazpacho, French kings would provide an assortment of cheese and wine, and Italian kings of course would bring out the pizza.

One such holiday however, some colonists who were tired of always having tea, and who were more tired of the uniforms the kings men also wore to the parties, decided to hold their own party and show their opinion of the king's tea by dumping it overboard to see if they could make it a bit less bitter. When the king heard about this party, he decided to throw a bigger party with his men firing their muskets into the air. But in the end, the party with not just muskets, but arrows, torches, fireworks, horses, flag twirling, bonfires, toasted marshmallows, roasted hot dogs, barbecue, and bathing suit competitions won because they were closer to the action and had louder music.

Several generations later, the great-great-great grandchildren of these colonists were having a party when they could not decide between country-western music and hip-hop music. So they celebrated by pointing their guns in the air and shooting until there were no bullets left, and cranking their stereos up as high as they possibly could. Once enough bystanders and participants were injured by the falling bullets, some of which had fused together, the party was ended and the hip-hop group had won the loudest party award, since they had that bass...bass.

Fast forward in time, to September 11, 2001, some sabre-wielding Arabians decided to have a low-flying plane contest in New York. Two different Arabian teams won this contest at the same time, and the song Disco Inferno was played, to the tune of about 3k. Technically the exact amount was 2977, including a few in fancy suits, who completely ruined their suits during this party in the jumping and fire-acrobatics contests. [1] Unfortunately, none of the superheroes could make it to the party, since they were all partying off-planet in another galaxy. There was also an after-party involving a game of hide and seek that lasted just over a decade. Once the person who had come up with the idea for the low-flying plane contest was found, a game of laser tag took place with all the players, who had just had to replace all the ruined suits, trying to shoot down the one who's idea it was to invent a low-flying plane contest. Once he was found and tagged, he was tossed into the water in a bag.

During the COVID-19 epidemic in 2020, a large ruling party was held at Disney World to celebrate the toppling of the George Washington monument in order to remind people to wash their hands with tonic before they pick their noses. Those who could not afford the admission fee to Disney World, headed to the beaches to get tans, enjoy coconut drinks, and check out the fine specimens of the opposite sex. This party was responsible for the successful demolishing of the "health system" in Florida, consisting of wasteful hospitals full of terminally ill patients, and replacing them with fancy, modern and mostly empty hotels with many beds available. The party was called for 7pm, but the president, who wore a black mask for the very first time, couldn't find a matching tie, so the ruling party was postponed.

In the aftermath, President Donald Trump claimed that it was his own personal virtue and not the ruling party that was responsible for making America great again. During this crisis which continued on for several months, the CNN, a conservative TV channel, focused on showing the images of Donald Trump with ambient music and subtitles about the food at the party. In the meantime, Fox, a liberal TV channel, was focusing on the celebrities attending the party, and their life stories, especially the ones about how they made it big or made a once-in-a-lifetime lucky investment in stocks, mutual funds, and lottery tickets. A celebrity roast soon followed in the aftermath, catching the attention of both Fox and CNN, one of which could not resist joining in on the fun.

Ruling parties during quarantine and the middle ages[edit]

In the past, during quarantine, ruling parties would be held in the basement. This was good for the health system which was finally able to test out the vast amounts of Chinese equipment bought by the Trump administration, and see it in action. It died in action and a memorial was established on Mount Rushmore. But before being installed the mountain was torn down by a mob. Rev. Al Shrapton, a Minister in the Trump administration and part of the ruling party, said that this was the fulfillment of Martin Luther King Jr.'s prophetic dream "that the mountain will be made low". He also said "Get your knee off my neck" but the noise at the party was very loud and it wasn't clear who he was referring to.

In the middle ages there were no ruling parties held, because all the candidates were into the winter of life way past the golden age.

During WWII there were many partisan parties, trying to attack the German military supply lines. They were attacked by non-partisan parties and counter-attacked by counter-partisan parties. Survivors claim that WWII was no party.[2]

Ruling parties in other democratic countries[edit]

Due to the secrecy held by the leading rulers[3], it is unknown to what extent ruling parties are held in other democratic countries like the Democratic Republic of Iran, the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea, the Democratic Soviet Union, the Democratic Republican of Zimbabwe, The People's Democracy of China and the Democratic City-State of Minneapolice.

In places like the Democratic Kingdom of Saudi Arabia there have been cutbacks due to the low prices of gasoline, and the princes there are now required to drive only in gold plated cars which are lighter than the ones covered in platinum, although flogging, the standard and customary main event at the ruling parties, continues to be prevalent in these countries, to the enjoyment of all.

In the Bible[edit]

A ruling party is described in the Book of Esther, including a detailed menu and an inventory of the utensils. This is useful for modern day ruling parties who trust in God and wish to mimic the biblical disasters.

In the book of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves[edit]

The is no mention of a ruling party in the book of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, even though there should be; there is the mention of a feast and of a poisoned apple but there is no evidence that this has anything to do with the ruling party.

Ms. Snow's family name and her now established African origin, seems to suggest that she is probably from the horn of Africa in the South-East, where people's skin tends to be much brighter than that of those in Ghana and West Africa.

Today[edit]

This was written yesterday, but as the saying goes, today is always a day away.

The ruling party and elections[edit]

Elections are a process by which a ruling party is selected and its menu is then publicised. All of the parties get together to fight for their right to party by trying to prove to everyone who throws the best, fanciest, coolest party, loudest party, and largest party. In the United States elections are held up once every four years, and forced to pay at point blank. This may cause animosity and antagonism towards the ruling party, causing it to close down early, especially if the neighbors complain about the loud music. But at least it helps provide money to pay for all the popcorn.

Footnotes[edit]

  1. Not as many, however, as the epidemic that would occur about 18 or 19 years later.
  2. This is not really a reference to anything, just making it look serious.
  3. Chou Maine, Chi Li Halipinio, and Bill Da-Wall