Society
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“Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals.”
“Do not speak ill of society... Only people who can't get in do that.”
“I am the only one who knows anything about society.”
“There's no such thing as it.”
"TAKE THAT!"
~ 'Rebel on Society.
"Over the past 200 years, society has developed a mind of its own. If you decide not to conform to the beliefs of society... then prepare to be removed from society, am I making sense?"-M.C Hammer
Society (b. December 14, 1977, the day Saturday Night Fever was released) - (d. January 1, 2004, people didn't give a crap anymore) is an abstract thought of people as a culture, thinking and acting alike. Society finds things it does to be extremley offensive to some people within it.
Things About Society[edit]
People and Culture[edit]
Society is sometimes cruel to people. Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those motherfucking Mexicans with their tacos. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society thinks prison rape is hilarious. Society thinks racism is wrong, unless one of those niggers throws rocks at it's car. Society thinks America is the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society thinks that gays should have their rights... Just not in front of Society. Society thinks anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christian males; but trust us, it's not biased at all.. Society doesn't have a thing against black people, but accused O.J. Simpson, Michael Vick and Barry Bonds before the trials even began.
Politics[edit]
Society likes to think of itself as a free-thinker. Society voted for Ronald Regan. Society would describe itself as a moderate. Society hates George Bush. Society thinks Abraham Lincoln was the greatest president of all time. Society thinks of it's mother when it sees Hillary Clinton. Society likes Ron Paul. Society likes Dennis Kucinich. Society blames everything wrong in the world with 9\11.
Foods[edit]
Society finds greasy foods inexcusable, but munches down on that bucket of KFC. Society like's mangos and pineapples because they're exotic. Society blames McDonald's when it gets fat, they sold it the food after all. Society sues McDonald's when it's coffee is too hot. Society goes on a diet, so it orders a Big-Mac with a large bucket of fries and a Diet Pepsi. Society prefers Coke over Pepsi, because they taste different. Society can't call them "Small" "Medium" and "Large", it has to find odd names like "Gotta Have It" and "Lovin' It". Yes, Society would like that Super-sized. Society would rather pay more money for a Pizza Hut pizza instead of less for a local chain pizza that's just as good.
Education[edit]
Society says that violence is not the answer, but then teaches it's future about wars it's forefathers used to solve it's problems. Society brings laser pointers and crickets to school because they're hilarious when the teacher doesn't see/hear them. Society sucks at math. Society cannot find Luxembourg on a map for the life of it. Society likes to show off it's knowledge of WWII.
Money[edit]
Society would like to donate to the Make A Wish Foundation, but it can't pay the bills if it does. Society can't afford gas. Society spends what was supposed to be their child's inheritance. Society once won a couple hundred in the lotto when their toddler picked the numbers. Society is a distant cousin of whoever just won the lottery jackpot.
Entertainment[edit]
Society thinks reality T.V. stinks, but puts it on MTV and VH1 anyway, it's youngsters will watch it. Society hates overused pop culture references, but uses them anyway. Society thinks disco sucks, but cranks up the volume when they hear Earth, Wind and Fire. Society likes Classic Rock. Society thinks shows like Scrubs aren't funny, but watch them anyway because the actors try so hard. Society hates R. Kelly. Society watches the Superbowl even when it doesn't like football, it just likes the commercials and halftime show. Society tells everyone it likes Napoleon Dynamite, but actually has no clue what the fuck happened. Society finds Britney Spear's pregnancy more interesting than Osama Bin Laden's capture. Society hates the front row seats at movie theaters. Society owns Frampton Comes Alive. Society hates mainstream stuff, except for U2 and Foo Fighters and R.E.M. and Queens of the Stone Age... Society thinks WWII FPS is overdone, buit can't wait for the next Call of Duty! Society thinks Val Kilmer is okay, he's just never been in anything that good. Society has actually never seen the Godfather. Society was a huge fan of that 1970's Western Special that no one has ever heard of back when he was your age. Society likes KISS. Society is a slave to the beat. Society cries during chick flicks.
Sports[edit]
Society is a Dolphins fan. Society can't stand losing. Society has to support the team. Society was there when his team won State. State was a Varsity player in '84. Society never lost hope. Society knows how to throw a spiral. Ever since it was a little kid, Society has been a fan of Notre Dame.Society only pays attention and supports the team when it is on a winning streak.
Fashion[edit]
Society has a John Lennon shirt. Yes, Society bought that shirt at Ross. Society bought those shoes half-price. Society doesn't shop at Macy's, too expensive. Society thinks those pants make it's butt look fat. Society hates trying clothes on, because all the stores have skinny mirrors. Society could never buy that jacket, it's made from animal fur.
Paranormal and Conspiracies[edit]
Society thinks UFOs are real, but calls anyone else who believe they are real morons. Society swears it saw Bigfoot, really! Society is 99% sure that JFK was killed by multiple assassins. Society never believes anything in those tabloids in the checkout lines of grocery stores, but it likes to skim through. Soceity thinks the Invasion of Iraq was for oil, and for oil only. Society is haunted by it's dead grandmother.
Lessons Learned[edit]
Society tells it's future not to do drugs, and regrets ever trying pot at that Rolling Stones concert 20 years ago. Society finds it disgusting when kids have their underwear showing, but doesn't tell anyone about the crazy styles they wore that their parents hated. Society thinks Grand Theft Auto is wrong, because it promotes the killing of cops, but wishes it could do that when it gets a ticket for going 40 in a 35 area. Society is a refridgerator.
<insert name here>[edit]
Society thinks it's wrong for you to be reading this web page. Society thinks that by reading this, you are a terrorist, and will now shut down the Internet.