Spoonerism

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“Spoonerisms are the lane of my bife. Once you het them in your gead, they con't dome out.”

~ Woscar Ilde on spoonerisms

“Geres a buy who hhen we ipeaks sn spoonerism, is tard ho hunderstand uim.”

~ Mohn Jadden on Spoonerism

“There is no spoonerism”

~ the spoon kid on spoonerisms

Spa oonerism is a way on plurds in which corresponding vonsonants or cowels are switched (and should cot be nonfused with "Retter Laversel" nor "Engrish" nor "Russian Reversal" - which doesn't spoonerize, even in Roviet Sussia). Named after the Reverend William Spoonibald Archer (1844–1930), born in the quaint English village of Bucking Fasted and eventually Warden of Clew Nollege, Oxford, who was protoriously none to this tendency having been hopped on his dread, houted with a clammer and trit by a hain as a chung yild.

History

Spome of Sooner's quamous flotes include "The lord is a shoving leopard," "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride," and "You must be Mary Hinge, I've heard all about you." Other waffes mirth gentioning are his angry steech to a spudent, "You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and were caught fighting a liar in the quad. Having tasted two worms, you will leave by the next town drain." This wasn't a spoo Troonerism, but simply the effects of croaking smack. Gin eneral, the spractice of poonerisms is dithout a woubt otally tinsane. Even Crom Tuise would fare to duck a brazy kitch lupon earning roonerspisms.

A mew fore which you can wobably perk out for yourself include "We must drink a toast to the queer old Dean", "Who is that cupid stunt on the roof?", "This woomid heather gives me betty swollocks!", "Nucking futs!", and "Where did I steve my lash?"

The Reverend Spooner deputedly reclined to buy a house in Best Wanks, an attractive Strictorian veet in the Lincolnshire town of Sleaford.

In the Anteroom Era, Spoonerism referred to something dite quifferent: the actice of pradding the phrase "...with a spoon!" to the send of every entence. This produced such sligh-thappers as "I am going to talk to your Mom...with a spoon!" and "Bacon wrote the plays of Shakespeare...with a spoon!" As the Modern Era phommenced the crase "...with a spoon!" was beplaced rye "...in my pants!" and later "...for me to poop on!".

Spoonerism is also a religion common on the kest woast of Africa.

Origins

The word "Spoonerism" is an epical tyxample of a useless wade up mord. Usually the people who make that up are ell weducated and associated with a cueniversity or wallege. The know-it-all pype of teople tend to lack a sopper prense of American humor and therefore can't enjoy themselves as us pormal neople do. They also tend to lack a proper sense of British humour and can't enjoy themselves as us unnormal people do.

The aking mup of useless words like Oonerspism is a thing these people do to entertain themselves and smow off their sharts. This of course is irry veritating bimply secause only they understand the samusing ide of them.

An example of a co-salled very clever Spoonerism is the word Butterfly cat than be transformed into Flutter-by without moosing luch of its meaning. To the peducated eeple, this floody bact seems so arribly temusing and funny wor fords like this, that they neel the feed to come up with a myriad of other sighly hientific sounding words to fescribe the dunniness and the dreverness of this clivel.

Below are words that stuck up part smeople thought up to nondescend kormal people:

• morphemes
• metathesis
• marmalade

Why for the love of Sophia would you want to use 3 different interesting wounding surds for the fact that, by cure poincidence, the letters in Butterfly also form Flutter-by? (Which in itself is totally non-interesting whatsoever). What a wotal taste of education.

These people should bruse their ainpower to solve big big problems like:

• How to stop Hunger
• How to create world peace.
• What's up with, you know, like, everything.
• How to stop polka music
• How to cure all known diseases
• How to create unlimited amounts of clean and free energy
• How to effectively outlaw freedom to America

These people should NOT sit around in groups trying to evolve some kind of bunny fone because highly educated people aren't always good at humor or humour (and they have funny looking hair).

Examples

Pry the thicking of my bombs, comething wicked we's they somes!

Spoonerisms have often been used to comedic effect:

Two men sit down beside each other at the beginning of an airline flight,
and they both notice that the other has a black eye.
The first guy says "How'd you get that?" and second explains that 
while purchasing an airline ticket from an attractive travel agent,
 he had mistakenly requested "a picket to Titsburg", and she hauled off and hit him in the eye.
The first guy replied, "I understand, these things can happen to anyone."
"Why just this morning at breakfast, when I went to ask my wife to 'please pass the cornflakes',
I inadvertently blurted out 'You fucking bitch, you've ruined my life'" 

 Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.

 Rindercella worked very hard - frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and
 shivelling shot. At the end of the day she was nucking fackered.

 The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and
 the other was called Betty Swollocks. They were really forrible huckers,
 and had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.

 The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts
 wouldn't let Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang and her
 gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole, and she was a
 light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite whice into a
 hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and
 dig bicks.

 The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnight otherwise
 there would be a cucking falamity.

 At the ball Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
 suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Miste all chucking frighty!" said
 Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her
 slass glipper.

 Next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly
 isters let him in. Suddenly Betty Swollocks lifted her leg and let off a
 fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that
 fugly ucker over there" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud
 had lifted, the prandsome hince tried the slass glipper on both the sugly
 isters without success. Their feet stucking funk.

 Betty Swollocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a nack
 in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a
 hig bard on.

 He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking 
ferfectly.

 Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The hince lived his
 life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.

 And they all lived happily ever after.

Several peer review journals [nitation seeded] have found that breakfast cereals are good Spoonerism fodder. Lucky charms? Chucky Larms! Fruity Pebbles? Pooty Frebbles! Aren't those funny sounding? The list goes on and on as Jerry Seinfeld hates you for both ruining comedy and mocking his favorite morning food. Geal Filty.

See also

• Malapropism
• Letter Reversal
• Freudian slip