Stray Cats

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This is our turf, see?

“See, yes, see?”

~ Stray cat on are you a stray cat?


Hey buddy, yes, you, see here, see? I just caught ya eavesdropping on our heist. See, ya was here and ya heard us, see? I gonna have to to take you to big Lenny. See, he ain't gonna like no snoops? Ya make any snitch and you'll be *shhhck*, see? You be commin' with us. Don't even think about the pigs, see? We will just scratch ya eyes out if you try. We ain't going back yo pound no more, you see? Damned animal control! Ya being around here is distressing, see? We might need to plug ya, see?

Big Lenny[edit]

Big Lenny.

Yo, so yeah caught this human eavesdropping. We'll let Pa take care of him, see? Well, I gonna grab a heater, see, in case, see. Fluffy is over there, see? He'll keep watch on you. I ain't got ma gun on me, see? Make 'im real comfortable... Scratch his face, bite his leg, piss on his foot, you know that type of thing. Ya also better ain't be drinking da boss's moonshine and whiskey when I get back in here, see? I'll have a heater on ma then, see? If yeah think that I ain't got the balls to blow your brains out, you'd be wrong, see? Snowball found that out the hard way. Meow out!


So, what did ya hear? What did ya hear, see? Hey, Fluffy, I think he's playin' dumb. Yes, I agree, Fluffy. How do you like this, see? That big scratch down ya leg, see? That'll be your face. Hey, Fluffy, get the brass claws. Meow! Yeah, those. I haven't had to use these since I had to fight that Faux-Kitler and the Nazi cats. I mean, I couldn't care less about Mews, see? See, that's it, see? We couldn't care less and happily let 'em in. My Grandpa was a Mew, see? Why am I telling this. Are the claws here yet? Now, I am gonna scratch your face off, see? SCRATCH! This ain't workin', see? No, the claws worked well, it be that he maybe don't understand our cat speak, see? Ya right, he might be a retard. Lenny has got a heater. We can go take him to, Pa, now, see?


Salutations, my cool cats. I've got a song to finish. I'll be there in a minute. You all know I got my free-form concert of Jazz today. It's smooth, cats, real smooth. I'm just ending the song. Be back when I am done. Do you follow, cats? Alright that is it. My solo is up in a few bars, cats.

A Minute Later[edit]


So what be all the buzz? A snoop? That's square, cats. I might have to call Uncle Al the Alley Cat. Al? Hello? Yeah, cat, we got a snoop, cat. Yes, I have noticed everything being in black and white today. Maybe it be time for us to return to the '20s. No? Yeah, cat, I hear you. Yes, Len got himself a heater. Really? Smooth, real smooth. See you later, cat. Well cats, I am going to speak in English now. Here's just me clearing a furball.

So Mister Snoop, you understand that we cats here run a very smooth operation. That's a nod, yes? Cool, cat. Now understand that my Uncle Al only lets us run this if we don't act square. Can you dig it, cat? Good! Now your being around, it makes everyone look square. You, I , Al, we all look square. Now, cat, you understand that we cannot look square or Al cuts our support. By support I mean our throats, cat. You follow my drift? So you are just gonna have to go away, dig it, cat? Now I like you, so your just going out for a nice "ride" in the country, you follow? Alright, then. Lenny, you be wheelman, Fluffy you are wingman, and take "Bill" with you. He called me "mein Führer" yesterday. He is a plant. You all know what we do with those squares, cats. Long, relaxing, drives solve that problem.


NOOO! Don't do that!

Listen here mister. You're dog meat. I know you can't understand anything I am saying but that aint no problem for us felines. We're going to take you far away. Say good bye to your leather..mmm.. we're pushing you towards the ledge. Jumped it a thousand times but you don't see it do you? Tough man, tough. Say goodbye...

Wait...don't walk away!!!....Come back you goddamn human...we'll be waiting for you good next don't do that..DON'T DO..... a little rub under the chin......purrrrrrr....purrrrrr..